am i a sociopath?

i have been thinking about this for years , especialy when in stressful situations , like the death of someone i dont feel nothing about it , i have some of the characteristic that define a sociopath like persistent lying , lack of remorse, shame or guilt , aggressiveness prone to getting involved in fights , Shallow Emotions , lack of remorse for hurting others , recklessness, impulsivity ,pathological Lying , incapacity for love.
I had a normal childhood no event that could cause me to be like this , surprisingly i love animals and i cant watch a person treathing a animal bad i immediately feel rage

reply to post by dracodie


Dear Dracodie,

parts of your (very lucid) self-description do correspond to what is usually classified as "sociopathy". (And your empathy towards animals reveals a reassuring lack of psychopathy.)

However, your apparent lack of emotional response may not necessarily be
a "bad" thing. In oriental philosophy/theology "impassibility" is considered a great virtue. (But it is also true, of course, that such impassibility precludes rage or bellicosity of any kind.)

You may find it useful to discuss this with a few good therapists. (I say "a few" for a reason: it's always good to have a "second opinion" in medical matters, and in psychological matters doubly so.)

But do not fret TOO much.
Your experience (and self-expression, BTW) reminds me very much of somebody I know very well. It may be of comfort to you to know that this person evolved into an extraordinary human being from her late 20s on.
She still doesn't "feel" as strongly as she "should" (please, note the quotation marks) in many situations that are supposed to elicit tears, for example. But I feel it's safe to say that, in her case - and perhaps in yours, too - that is only a sign of a healthy detachment - which, by the way, includes an ability to act and help effectively in situations where others are overwhelmed by "emotion".

As far as lying is concerned, I can tell you that she found a moral approach - rather than a guilt-induced (i.e. emotional) one - to be of great help. What's more, by developing - intellectually, at first - a stance that other people should not be lied to because she has no RIGHT to mislead them, it seems that, in the long term, this actually helped her develop a very strong emotional empathy, in the sense that she now feels emotionally about other people's RIGHTS (rather than about them) and about her own RESPONSIBILITY towards other people.

In other words, do not be too worried because of the absence of emotion.
But do continue your introspection - and have a word with a few really good therapists.

Good luck.

thanks for the response it helped me understand more about me.
i personaly always tought in going to a therapist after being "attacked" because of my lack of emotions.

May I ask how old you are?

reply to post by intrepid

im 19

reply to post by dracodie


Are you a sociopath? Not necessarily. Certainly such labels were created to describe real observations made by professionals, however in some cases I believe that they are just a little too convenient, and get applied to people who just haven't found their place in the world yet.

Speaking from experience, I believe it is bad policy for a person to "decide" that there is something wrong with them, especially when they are young.

I have noted in my own life that I will both consciously and unconsciously work to become whatever my image of myself is. That's taken me to some very good and very bad places at different times in my young life (I'm only 24 myself).
I have also found that the self image that I try to become has a lot to do with what activities I am involved in and who I spend my time with. Spending too much time alone is especially bad for me.

So I don't want to give advice exactly because I'm not qualified, but I would suggest the idea that perhaps there are people and activities somewhere out there that would help you be whatever kind of person you would like yourself to be- if you seek them out.

Some of the most wonderful things in my life happened by complete accident, because i did something i didn't have to do and didn't particularly want to do, just to escape boredom. That's what I mean by seeking them out- just do stuff until something fits. In my case, i really found myself in college- it's one of the many places that a person might choose to start their seeking.

I've wondered this about myself... I have pretty much all the traits on the checklist for being a sociopath with the exception that I'm surprisingly honest nowadays. I used to lie all the time compulsively, just for the fun of it, until I was about 21 (22 now as of June 11). I only stopped because I had been reflecting on my life and place in the world and came to the conclusion that lying serves no purpose unless I'm dealing with the authorities. I now only lie when forced to, to avoid incarceration or whatever. I am brutally honest because I find I don't give a flying f*ck what anyone thinks, so I present everything I'm about right up front. If I'm rejected based on that, then it's their loss. I am what I am, take it or leave it. As for the empathy for animals, this is something else I never quite got about myself. I don't believe I've ever shed a tear at the funeral of somebody I knew (and I've been to a lot) but anytime I've lost a pet or whatever, I cry for days on end, and stories of cruelty to animals awaken this burning rage that usually ends up with me fantasizing numerous ways I'd torture and mutilate the perpetrators...

As for therapy, I've been diagnosed as having antisocial personality disorder before (I've been institutionalized by police a handful of times and was also in the psychiatric part of the Philadelphia Prison System), but I don't know how much I trust these doctors, since they've diagnosed me as everything from schizophrenic to bipolar and a bunch of other things. I think they just don't know what to make of me, but really, I don't quite care anymore. If I'm a sociopath, then so be it. At least I feel I've evolved a bit over the past few years, I'm not half as wild as I used to be.

reply to post by dracodie


5 years ago I felt like I had no real emotions, like if a person got hit by a car right in front of me, I wouldn’t give and just keep walking….I’m not sure if that’s anything like how you feel, but that’s as close as I can relate…….now if I see someone's in distress, I have this mind set to do something about it……and so maybe after a few years like me you might get over it and have a little more compassion for other people……who knows

[edit on 27-1-2008 by andre18]

Yes, that's part of it, actually I've thought about it a lot lately and trying to analyze myself, rationalize it, because "sociopath" carries such negative connotations, and while I never saw myself as a particularly good person, I don't feel I'm evil or completely heartless either. I always considered myself to be just emotionally balanced and neutral. But the theory I came up with for why I couldn't feel empathy for humans is that I've seen so much from such a young age. I grew up in an environment where nothing was censored or restrained, and I saw the worst sides of human nature and developed a severe deficiency of faith in human nature. In other words, I could see and think about the most vicious atrocities mankind committed against each other, and not care or even feel a sort of pleasure or satisfaction because in most cases I felt most people simply get what's coming to them. I could commit crimes myself and not feel guilt because I saw it as justified, sort of kill or be killed, only the strong survive, every person for them selves mentality. As for violence against young children or animals, that broke through the apathy because I view them as innocent and undeserving of cruelty. I dunno. I just prefer my theory to the alternatives.

Sorry, mispost - replied to incorrect member!

[edit on 28/1/08 by kosmicjack]

reply to post by dracodie

and

reply to post by Voltzen


I don't usually post in BTS but your post compelled a response.

Thanks for your honesty! HAH! You are honest, with yourself anyway, or so it would seem. The mere act of this self-reflection means that you are at an important crossroads in your life. You have the power to visualize the future that you want and manifest it for yourself by your actions. In otherwords, you have the power and capacity to choose to do the right thing or choose a darker road. Only you can decide.

However I would pose a few suggestions.

First, more often than not, at your age, these tendencies represent the fact that you have not found anything or anyone as important as yourself to care about. Get invoved and that will surely change.

Second, limit the amount and monitor the quaility of media to which you are exposed, it tends to have a desensitizing affect on people, particularly young people such as yourself.

Lastly, I would suggest that your tendency to lie is really a tendency to avoid truth or, to put it another way, your real feelings. It's a defense mechanism. I would be willing to bet that if you committed to telling the truth for 30 days you would be forced to reveal more of your actual feelings and thus you may find that you really DO care about a lot of people and issues. Remember, in relationships of all kinds, you are only as good as your word and it should be true.

Good luck to you and don't be too hard on yourself, just be true.



[edit on 28/1/08 by kosmicjack]

reply to post by kosmicjack


Thanks for the suggestions, actually the first one is sort of the reason I started looking more closely at myself- I've recently found somebody that I actually care about, which is something I believed impossible only 6 months ago. I had been in a state of numbness for so long that I was convinced I was incapable of ever caring, loving, or feeling any lasting deep emotions. Furthermore, I couldn't feel the opposite end of the spectrum- hatred. I could get angry and feel the intense desire for destruction, but those moments were fleeting and more in the mind in the form of adrenaline like rushes, rather than reflected in the heart. I was convinced that no emotions could be "real" if that makes sense- my heavy use of drugs and the way they could alter my emotional responses so severely (i.e., I only felt "human" when I was high or drunk) simply strengthened my conviction that emotions were nothing more than the body/brain's reaction to chemicals. I felt like an organic machine, nothing more, and nothing could phase me because nothing mattered, because if life is a war that kills us all in the end, does it really matter what side you fight on? But over the summer I got in touch with somebody I'd met awhile back, and the longer I talked I found myself having feelings I couldn't even put into words or rationalize. What really hit me was when I had pretty much the same feelings regardless of whether I was sober, high, drunk, whatever. When I looked deep inside myself I realized a lot of things that shocked me, for example when I tried to imagine how I would react to different situations, I found that my heart disagreed with the logic I'd had so much faith in- for example, I knew I would give my life for him if it was necessary. This really surprised me, and I began to question how I could feel so deeply, so contrary to the person I thought I was, how could a person with no heart feel love?

As for your suggestion of lying and apathy being a sort of self defense mechanism, this has occurred to me as well, and I think maybe subconsciously I'd had a sort of "no heart, no hurt" mindset. I find now that I CAN feel if I try to, although it has to be a conscious effort in all but a few cases (such as my feelings toward my boyfriend on the positive side, or on the negative side, my feelings when I see somebody abusing a child or animal).

I'm starting to think that I may actually be a good, albeit very objective, person. I'm just really lucky I found my boyfriend Scott, as well, he's helped me evolve and realize my potentials so much in just the few months we've been together. I don't know if I'd have gotten in touch with this side of myself if I'd kept up with the lifestyle I'd settled myself into before (isolating myself as much as possible, living in my head too much, etc).

Again, thanks for the reply.

I'm a little confused! Did someone just take over the guys thread, and use it as their own?! Sort of skimmed some of the posts.

Anyway!

Some psych lady tried to diagnose me with this crap a few years back. She "bent" the truth, and tried to make me sound like I could do something "wrong".

I don't necessarily relate to all of you're traits, but some of them I do. I guess it depends on how I feel when I wake up. Somedays i'll disregard situations, other times i'll focus on it, and want to do something about it.

Whenever I feel i'm back at rockbottom, I see this psycologist, and he helps alot; Until I leave his office that is. Sometimes I wonder why I waste money haveing someone else try to descipher me, when in reality, i'm the only one who can.

If you ever need an ear...

-Mad

reply to post by dracodie


i don't think you're a sociopath, because you need love, and it's apparent. it's horrible and sick not to, and that's not you. dealing with death is different for everyone, it takes time to accept it, and still you might not feel it as a defense mechanism. being a sociopath is way more, it's like being a kid, but worse, and you can't hold on to emotion at all. like, if someone got hit by a car right in front of you, you couldn't be effected, you know you should, but you cant grasp it.

reply to post by dracodie


Personally, I would ask yourself a different question:
"If I disregard people's opinions of my behaviors, do I find that I like who I am?"

If the answer is no, then work on changing them. If the answer is yes, then carry on.

I feel that the term "sociopath" is generally used by society to neatly categorize people who don't "play by the rules".

Then again...I've been called a sociopath a few times myself...though I have seen a psychologist and he reassured me that I am just highly independent.