Yo Ho Ho

Hello Father chistmas: I would like the following for Christmas.

1-PARTICLE ACCELERATING CYCLOTRON
Gun

2-One Rail Gun Prefured Complete.

3.One of the U.S. Miltarys Steath Camo Units.

and anything else Is secondary.

Thanks you mr Clause.

Falcon

Dear Father Christmas

I would like to remove the evil from the government including the president, CIA and the IRS. Also, illuminati, freemasons and the United Nations.

Dear Father Christmas,

Thank you in advance for the lovely Trabant...it certainly will be a screamer once I get the big turbo and NOS kit on it...should be able to do 0-100 in about 3 maybe 4 days.

I have left you some more of those 'special cookies' that you enjoyed so much last year, some mistletoe to hang off your belt buckle and the address of this dodgy chick I know...she'll see the mistletoe and get the idea...


...and oh...sorry about the bullet holes in the side of the Sliegh...thought you were a pesky Police Chopper flying over to search for my crop...


Peace,
ALIEN

[Edited on 10-12-2002 by alien]

A-S-E has a really good point, Santa. I'd be willing to trade one of the aforementioned nukes for a good, solid punch in the mouth by my fist to Tony Stewart's face. You know, one of those shots that rattle the molars?

Oh, and a '69 Ford Galaxy 500. I'd be willing to trade another nuke for that as well.

Well, first the over 20k I put in for college, a better apartment, a better truck, and this cute little honey who works with me. The young 19 yr old, not the old should be retired manager

And maybe that new barbie house with divorced Barbie, comes with half of Kens stuff!

Ahh my young rapacious product feeders, indeed your desire for posessions knows no bounds!

Owing to the great demand for alcohol, cider, beer etc, I have decided to open a subsiduary business specialising in the potent brew. Its called Reindeer Brewers, and will create such delights as Elf Ale, and North pole Lager, with the secret ingredient of Reindeer urine. (such a taste will be instantly familier to any drinker of Budz)


Byrd, I will save you having to travel by having all your family come and visit, and stay for months. That will exhaust your desire to ever see them again.

I will also give you a big TV and a link to Discovery channel so you can satisfy your wonderlust from the comfort of your lounge.

AS Tony Stewart is being honoured by Bush (abcnews.go.com...) I will instead give you the truth that few know that he is a CIA bad boy who'se job is to take the minds of americans off the comng war. Take the oportunity to gatecrash the ceremony and punch them both in the mouth if you wish.

Falcon, I have given you a camo unit of your own, but you won't see them outright as they will shadow your every move, never revealing themselves.

Right now they are outside your window waiting for your commands. Order them to do what you want by standing on your doorstep and shouting your requests, They will instantly obey you, maybe.

Ycon your request is too difficult even for me, instead I give you a one way air ticket to Namibia, where at least you can get away from the evil government. Take lots of sun screen, and water... you may be a while...

Thankyou alien for the cookies, I have been feeding them to my reindeer, it causes them to do barrel rolls on the way home, but they get the munchies around about Europe and have to stop.

I think you have some explaining to do!!

We all know Santa was murdered while flying over Alabama last winter!!

Um... the last time there was that much snow in Alabama, was um... never.

That's what you know, there, Mr. Overlord! We've had a couple real good snowstorms with substantial accumulation, only I can the nunber of times on one had, and one of them was not last year.

That picture isn't from last year, and that really isn't the most flattering picture of me I've ever seen.

All i want is DreadLord that is a slave to my will. Well actually add a cache of new weapons to that so that i may continue my hits seeing that i have run outa ammo and frostmourne has had its fill of human blood.

Welcome to the New World Order!!!

That picture Willie posted is a great example of Homeland Security working hand in hand with the NWO. At approximately 0200, 25th December 2001, Homeland Security Alfa radar detected a bogey in US airspace flying at 23,000 feet over the state of Alabama. With our Anti Missile Defense System (AMDS) we were able to rid the skies of this unauthorized foreigner.

I believe that ugly incident occurred at Cheaha Mountain, Cleburne County, 2,407 feet above sea level. Actually, its not unusual to get snow there...

a large bottle of North Pole Never-Fail hangover-cure, and a decent piece of English cheese, please.

Holy Sh*t MM that banner is F*cking scary!

"Done!
I am all out on french hens though, will some French-canadian hens do? They are very territorial and demand that all hens speak french. "
____________________________________________

Actually Father Christmas I changed my mind!
Could you just forget the four Calling Birds, the French Canadian hens, and the Partridge. I Really do not want to have to clean up all that Birdy Doo!
Can I exchange them for Four Rolls Royce, Three Big Screens TV's and a Twin Engine Piper Cub!
Oop's I almost forgot Santa..... One of them computerized wash machines and matching dryer, a global positioning system, DVD's to go with my High definition Big Screen TV's, Leather seats for those Rolls. I live in the Desert so I don't want cheap plastic seats okay? They stick to your bumb. Don't for air-conditioning in all Three.
Oh yeah, a Big Freezer for the Venison! Looks like you'll have to take a train now. I could use some more Gigs, ram, and a faster processor for my puter, A nice Scottish Vacationing Mansion would be a plus!,
A whole new wardrobe of clothes, shoes, and accessories, with matching jewelry. (diamonds & gold) No faux stuff!
How about throwing in a maid and a cheff for the Mansion huh? I'm sure glad you asked me, if I was done or I would have forgot some.
Oh and you can throw in Peace on Earth too, but don't forget the Other stuff!

I changed my mind, too! I'll take what Star's having.

Ohyeah... and glasses. UP says I need new glasses. Highball glasses might be nice... it won't improve my vision, but I won't care that I can't see anything!

...and...er... Santa, dear, it's not family I'm visiting. It's science fiction conventions. And no, I don't want them at my house (ThanksSoMuch).

Santa, All I want is to get that job of Quality Assurance Tester at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch

And a case of Remy XO wouldn't hurt!

Star, don't ever buy a house in Scotland, it's gone right down the $h!thole. We have a terrible problem with drugs, teenage pregnancy and vandalism. If you could afford it, then a mansion on the banks of Loch Lomond would be good, but only because you could employ gamekeepers to shoot anyone trespassing on your estate, smoking dope or getting pregnant, or whatever they do...

Dear Father Christmas
Would you kindly ask the local ET's to land in central park (NYC) or ground 0 and come outside the ship to talk to all us regular people. Our planet is broken and I would like to know if they can help us fix it.

Tell them we WON'T shoot them or try and take there UFO ( because it's cool) like most of our movies show we would do. Tell them we are really nice people dispite always tring to kill eachother over dumb #. Tell them most of us really want to change our ways but we need help with our leaders alway trying to f--k some one over for oil or some thing.

Just ask them to take charge because we are insane becaue we keep doing the same things over ond over expecting a different result. Tell them if they just ask us regulars, we will help them with there needs as well.

O-please dear Father Christmas

I want a UFO to land in Central Park for my Marry Christmas!!

[Edited on 29-11-2002 by Skeptical Believer]

Dear contrary feeders, my how quickly you change your minds!

Now my elves have to work harder to produce more goods and what am I to do with the unwanted one? I will dump them in the 3rd world like other mulitnationals do.

Firstly you eager movers have your eyes set on scotland, to facilatiate your knowledge I will include a free Video of that great Scotish Documentary called TRAINSPOTTING (a must watch for every Scotophile)

Here is the leading voiceover for the movie such appropriate words for this season of giving and grabbing...
www.godamongdirectors.com...

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a #ing big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.

Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.

Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of #ing fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing #ing junk food into your mouth.

Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, #ed-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?

Also you homocidal maniacs the pics of the dead santa are not me, but my stunt double, Not even your fastest planes can catch me when my reindeer are fired up on Aliens cookies.

BT unfortunatly the position you wanted has been filled however this one is available and I will forward your name... you must find your own partner however..

Hard work�
Student Dave Chapman has risen to an amazing challenge . . . after landing his dream job as a condom tester.

Lucky Dave, 22, was picked from over 10,000 hopefuls eager to land the position.

And he is the envy of all his pals because he will be paid to have nookie with his girlfriend.

Dave, a law student at Newcastle University, said: "As far as I can see, it's a perfect win-win situation!

"I didn't tell my girlfriend I was applying, but nothing I do surprises her any more.

"They send you their entire product range and you have to put them through their paces and evaluate them.

Skeptical, whenever aliens land in New York they always get ticketed for double parking and told to move on, most of the aliens have now integrated into the community in NY as taxi drivers. (although there is one at least who is moving beer around in a bar)

Mountainstar, I think it will be easier on both of us if I just give you Sears. Just pop on in and tell them you are the new owner and to truck the contents to your home.

Byrd I will give you a new braille computer screen that raises the letters so you can feel the words... I will also divert your family away to other places like Papa New Guinea

Have a happy holiday season and keep posting your desires.