Yo Ho Ho

Wellcome you consumer fixiated, posession orientated people. I am here to fulfill the dreams of shopkeepers across the land!

So what do you want me to bring you on Christmas day?

[Edited on 9-12-2002 by Father_Christmas]

I want 5 golden rings, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree! Oh yeah, you might as well throw in the pear tree too!


A couple of diamonds wouldn't hurt and don't skimp on the carrots okay?

[Edited on 09/08/2002 by MountainStar]

Done!
I am all out on french hens though, will some French-canadian hens do? They are very territorial and demand that all hens speak french.

BTW as the response is slow, OH unbelieving cynical posters, I will start to distribute my largess and presents anyway.

For Alien I give you for christmas one of the greatest vehicles ever made...



The East german, fiberglass, 0 to 60 in 12 minutes... Trabant!

More presents will be distributed forthwith.
Feel free to give suitable presents to other posters as well..

go away tyler

Dear little Drudge, Just remember that father Christmas knows everything you have been doing during the year. He knows if you have been good or bad. I have seen what you have been up to under the sheets at night... bad boy.

Still it is christmas so I will overlook your frailities and give you an appropriate present



A nice pointy stick to sit on, the little ball at the end will provide hours of fun

Father Christmas, could I please have this for Christmas?? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE????

Well I am shocked, all my little elves had to run and hide after seeing that pic. Mind you she looks better than Merry Christmas, bless the old bird, but she hasn't enough clothes to survive up in the North Pole.

Anyway I tried to find her to give you as a present but she was taken, some letch called Kano got his mits on her first, but here is her sister...

aye! can I become warm blooded for the holiday, father chrisssssstmasssssss?

Maybe some extra fertilizer for me sisters eggsssssss?

My wish for Christmas this year is for the NWO aka Homeland Security to be in full effect by Xmas....

I just want a 6-pack of hand-carriable nuclear devices.

Oh, and a case of Jever Christmas beer.

I would like them to stop watching me.

a lefthanded 1959 Fender sunburst Telecaster, a Colt 1911A1 .45 and a Super Bowl for my 49ers!!!

Oh yeah, world peace would be cool too but hey... I'm trying to be realistic about this sheet Santa!!

Merry Commercializational Consumerism to ALL!!!!!

HOHOHO!!!

What?? You got ho's here too? Hey, you're okay Santa!!!!



[Edited on 10-12-2002 by USMC Harrier]

Well my little elf delights, your requests are certainly unusual..

Reptoid your wish is fulfilled, you will indeed become warm blooded, and not only for a day! You will wear a suit and be elected to the senate! Congratulations, however your eggs will be poached, get used to it, good senators always eat their young.

Ahhhh Mr Mutilator, you and Mr Bush have the same wet dreams. Yes you will have the country locked up tighter than a nuns thighs by next year. And because Mr Bush has asked me so many times I will give him the Ho Ho Howitzer of a war he wants.

Mr crowne you can have your 6 pack of nuclear weapons, but only in cans, we have to cater for the masses when it comes to portable nuclear devices..

Mr Harrier, dream on! Not even I can make the 49'ers win the superbowl. As for the guitar sorry but I can give you a nicely gift wrapped left handed hammer.

Unfortunatly Mr Smith, they are ALWAYS watching you, as am I. Stop playing pocket billiads when you think no one is watching...

[Edited on 10-12-2002 by Father_Christmas]

Dear Santa,Could I have an avatar.I just can't seem to find one that I would like to be associated with.I have been looking but well............

PS,I have been a good boy all year so don't fob me off with something crappy.

Dear Santa Claus,

I'll not ask you something like : I would like to see the whole world in peace. I know you.You'll nuke us, all of us, and you'll tell me : " Look,now, you have peace " !

I saw the wishmaker I & II movies.

So, I just want to have the same babe like W.O.S ( Not the old one, THE YOUNG ONE OK ? )

+ a F-22 Raptor

+ 10 MX ICBM

And a magic pill who'll help me to stop smoking.

Thx S.C.

Dear Santa,
Please send several cases of Sam Adams (ale), one more interest rate cut, a faster PC, and for YOU to actually be real so you can be the one to buy all the Christmas gifts for my kids. I realize that's asking alot since you gave me my gift already during last months elections. LOL.

JB, here's the avatar I was going to use but I thought I would give you firsts dibs if you want it:

JB, don't listen BoB88 ( even if his avatar is one of the most cool avatar ).

Look what I have for you !


Cool isn't it ?

What I *really* want is:
Gaiman GPS Map 176 (there's a link there.)

I'll settle for:
Magellan Meridian Gold

(I travel lots and drag the family off on odd vacations. Electronic maps are WONDERFUL things to have.)

Failing that, I'd like my very own staff of housekeeper, gardener, and cook.

Dear santa,

I've been a good little boy all year, so can i have 2 crates of cider?

I want Tony Stewert to be fined 100 championship points for running the camera guy over, and the championship given to MARK MARTIN who really won it!!!