Does being alone affect your sanity/mind?

I was wondering if anybody knows if being alone can affect ones reality. And I don't mean by not having a mate either. I mean, can you lose your sanity by being alone for too long? I've lived where I do now for about a year. And I don't really have too much contact with other people. I've talked to people at work, and a few other places. But i've never really made any friends. The only communication I have to people really, is the internet. Voice chatting on Xbox Live, etc. Of course I have family, but they live hundreds of miles away. I go to school/college, but I'm reserved, and usually keep to myself. Depression has taken it's toll on me, and I was wondering if it can mainly be because i'm alone. I feel like i'm sitting back in a slab of concrete, awaiting the sunrise, listening for the birds. I feel solitude.

I try to talk with people, but usually when I do, they don't have any interest in what I have to say.

Have you ever felt like nothing was real? Like everything before you was a movie? I have. One time, I actually felt as if I were coasting, instead of walking. Another time, things seemed far too bright. Am I losing touch with reality? Am I losing it? Sometimes, my vision seems a bit off. Things are more grainy than they should be. And other times, things seem more sharp. What's going on with me? Any medication that i've been put on has failed miserbally! Maybe it's time for something long-term? I just don't know what's going on with me anymore.

I felt like that during the 90's when I had a job that I worked night shift for 84 hours a week for long stretches. I started feeling like I existed in my own world that was isolated from the world. Events took on a surrealism that was like they weren't really happening, that they were like unrelated things on television or something. That was a strange time.

But........I don't feel that way now. I work a lot less now and have a lot of hobbies. I don't have a lot of friends in the real world, but I do get to talk to enough people each day that I don't feel away from reality.

I think just getting out and doing things makes a big difference, even if it is to do something like ride a bicycle, take out the trash, walk the dog, pull some weeds out of your lawn, etc.

as long as you keep your ability to rationalise properly youl be fine.

get off any medication,its artificially messing with your emotions,your unhappy for a reason.people dont seem to realise that,depression is a normal mental response to troubling events.

were you unhappy before you moved and became isolated?.

ive always been alone,even when im surrounded by people,i have never felt human.

reply to post by MadSeason313


I'm going through that exact same scenario as well. Four years in my new city, and no real close friend. Lots of isolation, lots of time alone - and yes, even the hypothetical "movie scenario" you mentioned.

Right now you're the main character in your life, center stage, as it were.

Since I have no real social roles or obligations, I'm using this time to look back on my life, take stock of what I've experienced and learned, decide exactly what I want from myself in the future in regards to my personal goals and future realtionships.

I don't think you're "losing it", more like you're just losing the sense of identity that other people have given you in the past. I hope that makes sense - but rest assured, you'll never be alone as long as you have YOURSELF.

Maybe this is just a time in your life to really "get to know yourself" without interruption?

Whatever the case, always focus on the positive - never be afraid to set new goals and personal challenges for yourself and never, ever, ever let that depression get the better of you.

The answer is yes. Humans are very social animals so isolating one from society will cause server psychological distress.

Server physicollogical distress. Yep, there right now.

Mad, I got a question for you, WTF are you so depressed about?

tell me what it is and I'll tell you if your overreacting.

I can't remember when my depression first came to play. I think maybe it was around Elementary school, 5th grade. Family issues. It was off and on at that point, good times, and horrible ones as well. My sleeping problems were becoming insane, insomnia got the best of me. Wtf am I so depressed about?! It's a collaberation of things. Like a concocted stew with a variety of flavors all mixed into one. Except, there isn't a desire to consume it. But mainly, everyone I know, goes away, in the most horrible way. My friends die physically, and some die mentally. My whole family rips it self apart from limb to limb. And some more personal issues.

I don't like to talk about details to people i'm not sure I can trust, that's why I generalize so much. No offense to those of you with kind words of support.

MS313, It seems as if you are living in a very stressful place. I have also suffered my share of depression and outright psychosis where I really didn't know what was real or illusion.

I too withdrew from almost all human contact; and my mental illness got progressively worse until some kind folks saw how crazy I was acting and convinced me to enter a treatment facility.

For me the therapy and drugs worked very well.

Sometimes we need professional help. I don't know that you do, but please don't discount seeking help from either a therapist/counselor or maybe even a cleric.

I truly hope you can find peace!

reply to post by MadSeason313


ok if you cant go into detail,


are you bored?
are you lonely?
sexually frustrated?(seriously sex is a psychological need for some people!)
do you trust other people?
do you think the problem is within you, or is it the way the world/people are?.
do you feel loved?

you know,if you look through all the showrooms and plastic surgery, modern society can be really harsh,and is pretty conducive to emotional problems.i dont think your problems are mental,they are emotional.

Originally posted by welivefortheson
reply to post by MadSeason313

 

ok if you cant go into detail,


are you bored?
are you lonely?
sexually frustrated?(seriously sex is a psychological need for some people!)
do you trust other people?
do you think the problem is within you, or is it the way the world/people are?.
do you feel loved?

you know,if you look through all the showrooms and plastic surgery, modern society can be really harsh,and is pretty conducive to emotional problems.i dont think your problems are mental,they are emotional.

Entertainment is only expected in a world of technology. I can find many ways to entertain myself, though they may not always be viewed as "normanl", they do appeal to me. Am I lonely? Well, i'm not going to lie. It gets very lonely when there's noone to talk to, no place to call home. My lonliness consists of not having friends or family around. And if you mean lonliness in the context of the opposite sex; If I can't stabalize my own well being, how could I ever get back into a relationship..
Sexually frustrated.. Nah, I was never one to sit around a think about sex all day long, as most people my age do. Do I trust other people?! It's very hard for me to develop trust with anyone anymore. I've been mislead into believing other peoples lies, to the point where it feels like i've literally had a knife jabbed into my stomach. Why not the back? When you've felt betrayed, you'll know how it feels.
Do you think the problem is within you, or is it the way the world/people are?. The problem is too complicated to understand at this point. Is it society? You cannot blame society for ones actions, but only societies contribution to ones misunderstanding of life. Do I feel misunderstood? All the time.
Do I feel loved? I know i'm loved by the people who have raised me, by the ones I grew up with for many years. I love my family, and my family loves me, no matter what kind of twisted s*** we've been through, through out the years. They are the ones that motivate me to wake up in the morning. They're the reason why I bother to help myself. If it weren't for them, I would have done myself in long ago.

reply to post by MadSeason313


the betrayal can certainly cause longterm emotional upset until you can regain your trust in people and resolve the issues.
the society/world thing is all relative i suppose,it causes me a ton problems,not so for others.
yes this does seem complicated,,so ile ask you some more q's,

what are your fears?
what makes you happy?
what do you think would make you more content?
would having more people you trust and like around you make you much happier?
do you feel you know where you are going?

theres no need to do yourself in ever,theres always something you can do!,hell you could undertake a quest walking round the world!.

There is nothing wrong with being non-social, IF that is who you are and how you like to live.

It only causes 'severe psychological distress' if you are a social butterfly/people person.

I have known (and am) a type of person who gets 'severe psychological distress' in public/social gatherings. I cannot stand crowds, the noise, smell, the actions ... neither can my best friend. Social with a special few (for me, less than 5 people in almost 30 years ... I push others away because I don't care for them).

On the other hand, I had someone very close to me that is no longer in my life because we were opposites. She loved the social scene (and the drama). It was fun for her, so we didn't clique ... and she couldn't enjoy staying in.



It is all finding and knowing who you truly are inside, and what you truly want for yourself and your life. Learning what makes you happy and go by that ... not what me, another, or even a psych says.



It does sound like you are more social (or at least have a current longing to be social in real life). What are your interests? Are there clubs at the campus that fit into that? Try out new things ... a poor example would be swim team or chess if it is something you never done.

You are never alone in your thoughts or contemplations. Just know when you find someone worth being around, you will know it, and they will appreciate you as well.


I can understand where you are coming from. I have lost people in the physical realm and the mental realm to various causes ... natural and not. I know that is not easy ... especially if you have a heart.

I know it sounds impractical when you are feeling overwhelmed, but all things really do make us stronger, even if we feel they shouldn't have happened ... or if we feel indirectly responsible.

It may not be much of a condolence to hear it, but try to take some solace in the fact nearly everyone goes through it. Even those you think had shiny childhoods, most likely have dark secrets they wish no one to know and it haunts them. Everyone will lose a loved one or close friend to various ways, and it is never easy for any of us.


I wouldn't suggest using means of entertainment for 'escapism'. It is a nasty path. It can lead to comfort eating or drug use. Each of which is fine if used for the right purposes in the proper moderation and responsibility (tasty nutrition and prescription/recreation (alcohol is a drug)).


You are right though ... you should not persue a relationship until you find happiness within. I know too many people who try to use relationships (or physical contact) as a means to happiness, they usually bring the other person down and use them ... as escapism ... or regret doing something promiscuous and feel even worse. If each person is happy separately, they will be that much more happy (if they clique) together.


I feel I can relate to you in a lot of aspects ... I lack a lot of trust for others, either from direct betrayal or watching it happen around me and to my friends and family over the years. I talk about things that are either not popular or over the heads of the people I would come in contact with (ending up with me being quiet or dumbing down for the occasions). Never had a huge sexual drive, unless with someone I loved very much. Have my own scars from my past. I feel the pain of the people I care about as if it happened to me (empathy).


Being in college, I will assume this is a new experience ... away from your hometown, your family, and hometown acquaintances. That in itself can be overwhelming and make one feel a bit lonely and out of place.



A point you should try to work at (and it seems to come with age), is just completely accepting yourself, your thought, your likes and dislikes. Being one an happy with yourself and all of your unique intricacies. For the most part, forget about the rest of the world, they don't matter in the end. Know that all (most) memories (whether the events were good or bad) are good and worth having at some point in the future to reflect on, and you probably learned something through the experience. Enjoy the time you have with those whom you enjoy their presence. Ignore those that are bothersome and not worth your precious breath. Not to be arrogant, but know your value and what you deserve ... and if someone can't see that, you are better off without their imput anyway (hard to do with a crush on a rude person ).


It may sound all hippie-ish or whatever, not meaning it to ... but really, getting to the point of just loving and living your life, only to your expectations, not the world nor anyone else's. Being happy with your thoughts, desires, body, style ... the right people will come ... or you will bump into them. Until you do, you will be happy living your life by your rules and doing the things you love alone ... even if it is crochet/cross-stitch!


The world does seem rough ... and I had given up more than once on society ... but I run into a decent individual once in a while to 'keep the faith' so to speak.



Sometimes, unfortunately, your geographic location (and the society that is native to it) can make one feel more alone and odd ... but just being somewhere else could change everything.

I know people who love cosplay (dressing like anime characters for fun, making the costumes, etc) ... in the majority of the south, there is not really any place for that kind of thing ... but, go to Cali, and they would be in heaven with Comicon and all sorts of things for them to do. Which can be spead to many other categories ... but just remember, there is always someplace, somewhere, with someone who will have similar interests. A great friend waiting to be found.


I am not on like I used to be, need a break from here occasionally (it drains me at times) ... but if you want to chat on a PM, I will try to keep up with it. If not, I understand, I go on quite a bit and not everyone likes to put up with my incessant rambling


Take care and best to you.

Originally posted by welivefortheson
reply to post by MadSeason313

 

the betrayal can certainly cause longterm emotional upset until you can regain your trust in people and resolve the issues.
the society/world thing is all relative i suppose,it causes me a ton problems,not so for others.
yes this does seem complicated,,so ile ask you some more q's,

what are your fears?
what makes you happy?
what do you think would make you more content?
would having more people you trust and like around you make you much happier?
do you feel you know where you are going?

theres no need to do yourself in ever,theres always something you can do!,hell you could undertake a quest walking round the world!.

My only fear is losing loved ones. Other than that, I pretty much know what to expect in life, and death doesn't shed fear in me, it's just how I get there. What makes me happy.. My family, the little friends that I think I have left, not sure. What would make me more content with life? I really don't know. There are times where the day seems easier to get by than usual, a little more optimism. Sure I have little bursts of excitement, just like anybody else, but I wouldn't call it happiness. Would having more people I trust and like around me make me happier? I'm not sure. Perhaps I wouldn't be so misuinderstood, or shunned. Do I feel I know where I am going... I have my plans. They've stayed the same for quite sometime now, i've only taken a few steps towards them, but I intend on going full-throttle eventually. Once I have my mind set, I usually stick to it.

Mad, I don't think ur crazy.

I don't know what it is that gets you so down, but I hope you realize that your life isn't as bad as some other peoples.

I can guarantee you there are people who have it 1000 times worse than you, there always is.

There are people who have no food, family, money etc. You're lucky you have all those things.

I think you should realize that and count your blessings.

Season, as someone who has never been a socializer, I can tell you that I seem to view things differently than others. I don't find the same things humorous that a lot of people do. I don't find the same things important or interesting that a lot of people do. Is that crazy? I don't know. Some would probably say it is. "Before a man goes mad, he loses his sense of humor." :shk:

"reality is 95% personal perception" Says Basic Psychology and also "sanity is an understanding within the collective reality" thusly we are sane if we perceive within reason the same as those around us.

The sun came up. The sun set. An apple tree's fruits are apples.

In the union of understanding the collective reality sometimes people will say something along the lines of...

"did you see that?"
"do you see this as I'm seeing this?"

Seperation from a union with others can lead to personal perceptions of confuesed thinking processes.

I can ask my wife, "beautiful day isn't it?" and I can hear a responce "yes, it's a wonderful day".

reply to post by MadSeason313


go full throttle give it everything you got,but have patience everything takes time to master!.

what is it may i ask?

Originally posted by thehumbleone
Mad, I don't think ur crazy.

I don't know what it is that gets you so down, but I hope you realize that your life isn't as bad as some other peoples.

I can guarantee you there are people who have it 1000 times worse than you, there always is.

There are people who have no food, family, money etc. You're lucky you have all those things.

I think you should realize that and count your blessings.

Trust me bro, things aren't that easy. Sure, people have worse situations than me, but that doesn't solve my problems. I'm not trying to be selfish. But it's the truth.