My lyrics: Freedom flow

This is a rap I wrote during my hip/hop phase. It might be hard to feel the flow of it if you're not familiar with rap. Even if you are, the timing of the syllables is pretty complex. You gotta hear it to feel it, but anyway, let me know what you think...

If there was a
Glimpse of freedom in my sight I could see
I wouldnt be so pessimistic, I just might do the right thing
But I've seen so many things in my life by now
That it seems like I could believe in something higher than me
In control of all these people and places
these situations and nations
to dry the tears on the faces
of crying children with patience
Are we forsaken, forgotton
cast out to live in a rotten, god-awful world
until it burns, hit by a meteor, a flood, or thrown into the sun
It aint no fun being the one
to witness all this sh*t
to sit and crave the day when things will change
I just cant play the game, the pain
is too much
There's not enough to go around
To keep everyone from drowning and sinking down
I'm thinking now
That its just far too late
To keep everyone from making the same mistake
So we create
nothing to save ourselves, we fell
and there's nothing left in hell we can do
We cant undo
everything that killed the truth
We lost our roots
So now we face our doom.