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Am I being the typical jealous woman?

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posted on Nov, 3 2007 @ 09:14 PM
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SnowFlake I think your answer is most impressive! Im a women with a few years under my belt and quite a few female friends and in all our discussions i have never heard a solution to this type of problem that is as healthy and simple as your post. I guess it is common sense but... well who has that when you are emotionally ate up.



posted on Nov, 4 2007 @ 09:31 AM
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Wait a minute.

No offense ellipsis, but we are only getting a one sided story here.

You already know he is not intimate. Has he always been. I mean, have you talked about previous relationships with him?

Could he be "reacting" to you. Maybe he feels he needs to shut down to protect himself.

Speaking from experience, when my instincts were screaming at me that my wife was having affairs, I shut down emotionally. Then our relationship spiraled out of control because we were both unable to face the truth.

Please don't misunderstand. I am not saying you are the one to blame but you have to look at yourself too!

By the way, there are many ways to cheat on a lover besides shagging.



posted on Nov, 4 2007 @ 04:58 PM
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I agree with MM. Definitely seeing RED FLAGS here. You need to talk with him face to face. Ask him what his problem is? It may hurt what he say's, but you have children to think about. They can sense sad or bad feelings. If he's got a medical/mental problem that's one thing. Maybe you two can work together on that and get some help. If you suspect he's cheating on you then just outright Ask him. You are still young and life is too short to waste. Don't feel you have to settle for less.



posted on Nov, 6 2007 @ 03:49 AM
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Hmmm I'd say no your not being paranoid, maybe hes having a rough time at work or something and doesn't want to talk about it ? I mean we can always tell when the ones we love are upset or thinking about something but the problem is we can't always see what.



posted on Nov, 11 2007 @ 06:50 PM
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reply to post by Ellipsis
 


Okay, I'm a guy and I've been on his side of this before.


He just started a new job. He works early mornings so he usually is up before me and out the door long before I get up.

Lately hes been acting strange. He comes home at random times, avoids me as much as possible by hiding in his office and being on the computer. Hes especially grumpy with me, makes little comments about things he dislikes. He is jumpy when the cell phone rings and this morning before he went to work he put on cologne. He NEVER wears cologne, especially to work.


The good - he just started a new job. Maybe he is behaving as such due to demands in the workplace. Wearing cologne could be due to someone complaining of a foul oder. Then again he may just be trying to impress a female manager he works for as a way to show he is trying to fit in at work. Could his random return times be due to him doing extra work?

The bad - he is having an affair or is trying to with someone at work. Have you checked his cell phone records or his computer to see who he spends the most time with?

Do you know anyone else at his workplace that you can confide in to get to the truth?

Just my 2 cents. Take care and keep us up to date.



posted on Nov, 11 2007 @ 11:50 PM
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reply to post by Sanity Lost
 


I don't really agree with checking cellphones and email. To me that promotes distrust and paranoia right from the get go. Not to mention, even if you are with someone or even married to them, you do not own them, you do not have the right to spy on them and you can't control what they do.

Plus if you get caught checking all those things and find out nothing is going on, Guess who looks like the bad guy? You do! Everyone has the right to personal space, even within a relationship.

That's just my 2 cents.



posted on Nov, 12 2007 @ 12:14 AM
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I truly appreciatte everyones responses to my life drama.

I am feeling a bit badly about putting my personal life out here for everyone to see. In a way I have violated the trust my boyfriend has in me and I feel bad for posting this thread in the heat of my emotional moment.

I suppose we all have days when we feel the desire to be justified in some way and I did this badly.

Whether or not the issue has been resolved is between me and the one I love, I sincerely hope you all can understand that and thank-you again for the warmth and for being there when a girl needs it !




posted on Nov, 13 2007 @ 02:13 AM
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Originally posted by Ellipsis
I am feeling a bit badly about putting my personal life out here for everyone to see.


Its ok. Were family.

Now, unless your b/f's new job is with some top sercret orginization, and his job is to scan the BTS, well, then mabye there could be a problem.

I know everyone has already sent up the red flags, but that was my first imprestion after a few of your posts.

When people are hiding something, they act a certain way, and from what you told us, we had everything going off.

But alas, over the net we only have the benifet of one of our senses, sight. ANd an idea of smell. BUt the rest is your judgement, your intuition.

Clear your mind of what preconcived notions that you have read on this thread. Give it some time with a clear head. THanksgiving coming up, that should be a good test.

Good luck.



posted on Nov, 13 2007 @ 02:58 PM
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reply to post by Ellipsis
 


There is nothing wrong with confiding in family or friends (even internet friends) when something is bothering you, so don't feel ashamed. I'm glad you got it worked out.



posted on Nov, 14 2007 @ 12:16 PM
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reply to post by snowflake_obsidian
 



you do not have the right to spy on them and you can't control what they do.


We all have our own defination of what makes a realationship work. No one is in conrol of each other or "spying" on each other in my home. Cell phone bills are joint responsiblities and if some unusual calls are made by either side they are questioned. The main reason is due to billing errors by the cell phone company. Not mistrust of each other. We mind our own business on the computer as well. It's just if someone is acting defensively or secretive about what they are doing then it merits looking into.

Come on, if it looks like a goose and acts like a goose, then it's bound to be a goose.



posted on Nov, 14 2007 @ 05:12 PM
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reply to post by Sanity Lost
 


But there are better ways of uncovering truth than to spy on your partner. Honestly, in my opinion cheating is the least of the problem, the problem is what is wrong with the relationship. There are some people that are habitual cheaters yes, but often times there is something dysfunctional in the relationship itself. I think it's better to address the personal relationship between you and your partner rather than focus solely on the fact that they are cheating.




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