reply to post by malakiem
hi malakiem
sorry to hear you are having problems
yes there is a lot of us depressed people who look normal, me being one
and i do understand.
i had a serious motor bike accident in which for the first time in my adult life, i thought i was going to die. when i got to hospital i was told i
had broke my neck but the next day i was told i had broken it a few years before but i had laid on a bed all night long thinking of the worst.
i had a lot of issues with that accident and for some reason, i could not think of how lucky i was to survive a 120mph accident, i just kept thinking
of dying. not hoping for death but being terrified of it...
a few months later my ex-wife left the country with my daughter, without telling me. my heart literally fell out of my chest.
life without my little baby was unbearable. she was and is the only thing i truely love and now i didnt know if i would ever see her again.
i remember all the mornings i sat on the edge of my bed and my life falling down around my ankles. my world stopped that day.
i fell into a very dark hole and suicide was a very real option but my daughter stopped me, i needed to stay alive for her but it was a struggle some
times.
i went into hospital for a while and came out a little better and i started looking for my baby, that itself was maybe harder because i kept hitting
brick walls and was getting no where.
i would have spent weeks looking for her, getting nowhere and the depression getting very bad. i would fall back into that dark place again for a
while and hide from everything for a few weeks and then start all over again.
a lot of people would say, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with life, jeez why didnt i think of that at the time, if it was that simple, i
proabally would have. that really annoyed me. i was not looking for anybodies sympathy, i wanted my daughter back..
on an normal day nobody would have guessed i had depression, my sense of humour was good (maybe a little sick at times) and i looked normal..
on bad days i just hide from the world, i couldnt face it.
i suffered that life for seven years
then my daughter came and found me when she was old enough.
we now live together and have been for a number of years and we are both very happy. i still suffer depression, i think i always will but my life is
worth the struggle now.
i struggled with life very badly but my daughter and the belief that tomorrow was gonna be a little better got me through.
ok, tomorrow took a long time to come but it did eventually and i am very thankful for that..
malakiem, i did know it was a heartfelt rant
U2U me if you want, just dont fall any deeper than you need to..
your tomorrow will come too
chickenfeet