I hate FLIES!!!!

They're so damn stupid, they don't realize your trying to kill them so they keep coming back.

They like stinky and disgusting stuff like crap and trash.

They get in your house and fly around you when your trying to eat.

They are so disgusting, that they've got to be the most disgusting animal on earth.

They have black blood and big disgusting eyes that take up their puny inferior brain space.

Everytime when I'm eating and I see a fly, I loose my appetite. Even if it's my favorite food.

Their reaction time is so fast, it's too hard to kill them.

One time at my parent's house, there were 9 horseflies tormenting their two horses. They wouldn't stop biting all day and kept coming back. Everytime we tried to kill one, they'll fly out of the way and come back. The horses were so stressed out and annoyed that my hate for flies increased 100 fold.

One time there was this fly that was annoying me for three days in my apartment. I finally trapped it in the bathroom and slightly tapped it to make it fall on the ground. Then picked it up with tissues (I've been planning), took it outside and grabbed my lighter. Then I tortured it with fire and watched it burn slowly and laughed.

VICTORY!!! My payback finally came, it felt so good. I was so happy too.
But the fly died too fast and I wished it would of lived longer to feel more pain. I was so angry with it that I disentigrated it. And afterwards I felt this nag, this great nag to capture 1000000 flies and burn them with napalm. They truely deserve it, those little devils.

In conclusion, god could not of created something so inferior and disgusting and annoying. So who did? None other than the lord of the flies, the devil.

Heheheh I can relate. I always keep a bagfull of rubber-bands. I'm starting to become a pretty good shot.

Speaking of the Devil, I think hell is filled with immortal flies that won't die

Wow! I can see the hatred. I think flies are gross, but I can't torture them. I hate ants even worse, still no torture. A quick squish seems more humane.

Originally posted by vckums
A quick squish seems more humane.

Or a quick shot with a rubber-band

I can relate. If there was an eternal hell it would be repeating the process of settling down for a nap on a summer day and that one god d*** fly that lands on your cheek, or arm, or wherever which wakes you up, over and over and over again until you get up and handle business with a fly swatter. Most infuriating thing ever.

Originally posted by Beachcoma

Originally posted by vckums
A quick squish seems more humane.

Or a quick shot with a rubber-band

LOL ya got me there

Did you also know that flies are harmful? They carry amount of bacterias and germs that a fly can even poison your food?

[edit on 22-9-2007 by TheoOne]

Candles seem to ward them off though. I think they don't like the smell of burning wax. I noticed they'll be nowhere in sight if I light up candles at the dinner table.

I always wonder how something so stupid has evolved. You wave them, away and they keep coming back. Wasps are worse though, because they can sting and they do it for no reason. What i want is one of these to electrocute them with in the air. Now that would be fun.

Originally posted by apex
I always wonder how something so stupid has evolved. You wave them, away and they keep coming back. Wasps are worse though, because they can sting and they do it for no reason. What i want is one of these to electrocute them with in the air. Now that would be fun.

Flamethrower is better



Perhaps by using this method?



[edit on 22-9-2007 by TheoOne]

Originally posted by apex
What i want is one of these to electrocute them with in the air. Now that would be fun.

Woah! That would be fun, but excessive, in my opinion. Why not get a bug zapper? Not as fun, but you still get that electric fry sound. Zapppp!!

Or you could shoot them with rubber bands and toss the carcass into the bug zapper.

Or practice the sweet slap and drown the bugger in the toilet bowl.

How to catch a fly

by jonnyace

How to catch the common housefly with bare hands

1. Position open palms, face-in, equi-distant from resting housefly in the middle. Start some distance away so as not to alarm it.
2. Gradually move both palms together, closing in on unsuspecting prey, making sure palms are always equi-distant to fly.
3. When palms are about 6 inches apart, slam palms together.


Apparently, the fly reacts to threat in a very simple manner: by flying off directly away from the threat. By approaching it simultaneously from two opposite directions, it gets confused. (Heck, after a few beers, you can catch me the same way!) Try it this summer - on the flies, I mean - it really works.

I've done this quite a number of times myself. It really does work. Of course if you want to catch the fly alive you've got to cup your hands together instead of slapping them in step 3.

If you catch them alive, you can freeze them in the fridge and later use them to create a fly-powered aircraft:

HOWTO make a fly-powered match-plane?

Now that's fun!

reply to post by Beachcoma


For those with very small fingers... Obvioiusly. Ha...

I read about that fly powered match plane before...there was one site where someone used wasps...not a pretty sight.
Fly Plane

Our neighbors used to pack all their garbage near our gate and it would produce masses of maggots and stunk so bad...the things started coming on our side of the yard. We complained to the city it got so bad.

We used poison but nothing could get rid of them. My husband said when he was younger the only way he was able to kill them effectively was to pour gasoline on them and lite them up or use lye...he said you can hear them screaming. Barf!

How about a Fly Circus?

reply to post by DeadFlagBlues


It is delicate work. That's why I use tweezers

reply to post by DearWife


Great post!

I had something more like this in mind



Those inferior, simple, weak minded, ignorant, annoying little bastards can't dodge the rockets coming from what the Japnese called "little battleship".




[edit on 22-9-2007 by wildcat]

Don't forget the poo poo they run around in. Brappp...Gag..

Putrid little buggers aren't they?



If we can only get them to wipe their wee feet before they enter our homes.

I can see it now:

House-fly Un-welcome Mats

reply to post by TheDuckster


It's a little known fact, but actually flies are fastidious about cleanliness. Apparently they need to keep themselves as clean as possible for optimum flight performance. It's true.

But that doesn't mean I'll eat that tortilla after a blue-bottle lands on it.

When I was a kid, I used to experiment with flies by spraying various household chemicals on them. Windex and most glass cleaning sprays don't work. However, their bodies are very susceptible to fire, and vaporize when burned.




[edit on 22-9-2007 by wildcat]

[edit on 22-9-2007 by wildcat]

When I was 5 or 6 years old I was walking through the schoolyard with a friend and a large fly came from out of nowhere and went right into my eye. It wasn't a horsefly, but one of those slightly larger flies with that iridescent greenish-purplish metallic sort of color. It was immediately crushed by my eyelid and/or drowned in the fluids that my eye discharged, but what I can remember about this experience was the incredible pain and burning sensation I felt. It was the most pain I could remember having at the time, or that I rmember having for some time since. I also recall smelling it's vile carcass as I howled in agony; a sour, chemical sort of smell. Makes me wonder today if that fly had been in someone's darkroom, or somewhere that chemicals were being used. It sure hurt, and still registers high on the trauma scale whenever I think about it.

reply to post by Teratoma


Ouch! Eww.

The fly you described sounds like a bluebottle.



Is that it? This one's a greenbottle:



[edit on 22-9-2007 by Beachcoma]