help a brother out with a girl>_<

its a relationship thread so i guess ill ask for help too^^
the new school year is about to start(my final year horaay)and i really got my sniper lock on one girl.

[me]
ive really become a diferent person this summer,new clothes,new style,a car(one of the 3 in the class that got cars this summer^^)
acting funny and stupid most of the time as i suck at seducing
[her]
what can u say....evil little monster
she is really nice and sweat on the inside but always act hostile,insults and kicks....but sometimes i see shes dosnt meen it.
i dunno she either hs some fetish or wants to crush my selfesteem to zero for reasons unknown
[past]
bad thing is most of the times i didnt put her on her place and didnt show im a man not some lame guy

so its a really tight situation
she loves to tease and make me suffer
i know once i get the hand ill see shes very easy to break^^
and i know there are tons of more nicer girls but i say .... it^^

so can someone help me with some opinions on how to deal with her?

Maybe she WANTS you to stand up and put her in her place? She might be prodding you, unknowingly.

After all, self-esteem is an important trait, something she may be looking for in a guy.

yea i realised that now but i hope its not too late
i remembered before when i put her on her place and be the man her shield brokes and i see she just acts and its sweet so she likes it^^
one more thing what to do when shes trying to make me jelous by flirting with someone or just make me suffer?

damn if that girl knew whats in my mind for her XD she would leave the country

i dated one girl this summer who was better then her in every way but my mind was still on herT^Tdammit its patheticT^T

[edit on 6/9/07 by Unisol]

Well, I have some good advice for you, but it's up to you whether to take it or not.

You really need to quit assuming you know her intentions. Seriously, this is a big problem, you "know" she's flirting with someone else to get you mad you say. How do you know this? the answer is, you can think it's possible, but you can't know what is inside another person's head.

Have you actually tried talking to her about how you feel? Wouldn't that be far easier than trying to divine her mind?

If you want honesty from a person, you have to be honest yourself. Doesn't mean you're going to get it, but if you don't come out and say what's on your mind, how is she supposed to know?

If you aren't talking and direct with her about what you want, it's nothing but a game, to her and to you.

sounds easy but i i cant
1 shes from my class so its hard enough
2 she knows perfectly that i like her
3 for what i know even if a girl likes u a littke the moment u confess she may start feeling repulsed and cut u for many reasons
and besides she knows it so no need to risk humiliating my self

Originally posted by Unisol

2 she knows perfectly that i like her

How do you know she knows? If you didn't tell her, she may not know. Girls can be obtuse as boys sometimes. This is what I was saying about putting your thoughts (or wishful thinking) in someone else's head. You CANNOT know she knows anything unless you told her yourself. When you assume you make an ass out of u and me (or in this case, her). A cliche, yes, but they're cliches because they're true.

for what i know even if a girl likes u a littke the moment u confess she may start feeling repulsed and cut u for many reasons
and besides she knows it so no need to risk humiliating my self

You never know until you try. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Carpe diem (seize the day).

Let's see, what other cliches do I have here that fit this situation? Oh, yes, from the immortal words of the Red Hot Chili Peppers: It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't.

Either talk to her or get over it. Otherwise you're going to torture yourself for nothing.

Oh, I forgot, I was a teenager once. The self-infliction of emotional torture in the context of crushes and romance are part of the fun.

So, here are your choices:

1) Continue to assume you know what's in another person's mind and pine and yearn and suffer until you get over it an move on to something (or someone else)

2) Talk to her about how you feel and either:

a) Get shot down, but at least know where you stand, ending the purgatory of angst you are currently suffering, or

b) find out she likes you too but didn't know how to show it, and was insecure enough to not want to make the first move, so she's testing you to see how YOU feel about HER, and end the purgatory of angst you are currently suffering.

Being told "no" is a part of being a man, my friend. You're going to get a lot of it. Better to grow a thick skin and skills in how to get over it and move on, or never make a grab for any feminine brass ring at all.

thank you i appretiate but im just oo confused with girls minds these days.
the girl i dated the summer in the begining sayd first to be together and its strange like just couse i was telling her about this girl...
its like they hate it when u dont liek them and steal you from the girl u like
another girl was flirting like mad and in the moment i showed that i may like her she started playing the i dont liek you game
she even confesed to me one time,then she says she didnt mean it and she just wanted to be friends?
WHAT? she tells me that she likes me?then when i remind her she acts like im the one asking her out and sayd she just wanted to be friends...
the girl i dated the summer sayd that the moment she was most angry was the time when she was flirting with me and i sayd i dont know i like the other girl(the one the thread is about)
whats with this sick games>_

Honestly it is time to move on, find someone else to date for a time actually date a few for awhile get a little more experience under your belt. It is about the only way you will learn to be able to tell what it is she wants or what her behaviors mean. Granted it is all subjective and changes from person to person but it should give you a fair idea of what you are looking at. From what it sounds like you pretty much have her intrest at times but then you start changing things about yourself and she starts to question what it is she is seeing in you. And please do yourself a favor while you are out dating other girls please just take the time to enjoy them and their company it wont always be easy but it will go a long way to helping you out in the long run.

thank u i think the same way,its a good thing this girl i dated this summer helped my confidence and stuff,got to find more^^

If she's flirting with other guys in front of you, my first assumption would be that she's trying to make you jealous. Some girls like to be "fought over". Perhaps her own self-esteem needs a little help. Whether or not you want to deal with that is your choice. Then again I'm just speculating here....

i had a tolk with one girl/friend and in the end it turned out that we think the same way,like we have the same emotions and such(me and the girl i like)both very emotional and doing stupid stuff and being arrogant and immature and evil when bored

[edit on 7/9/07 by Unisol]

Originally posted by Unisol
i know once i get the hand ill see shes very easy to break^^

please tell me this is a seinfeld reference?

RUN as fast as you can away from her
trust me
i have suffered that kind of girlfriend
if she wants to make you jealous now, what will it be like 1 year from now.
run like a madman and do not even look back
find a girl who will make you feel good
not one who plays games

btw
dont play the same games back:bnghd::bnghd::bnghd:

spliffy

i know ur probably right man,and she isnt even my girfriend.
shes just childish,evil and dont wanna grown up.
i shouldnt even get close to her.
but school will be very boring and long even though its a last year i gotta find something to amuse myself XD(as selfish as its sounds its about survival i need funXD)
i guess ill just have fun with her without too much thinking

and no not a senfield reference its just my sick side
thx for helping me guis^^

[edit on 8/9/07 by Unisol]

things to remember girls are into guys that arent into them. Being able to say no is a good thing. no matter what relationship oyu are in is going to involve games. Girls that understand that you can and will walk away if she plays the jealousy game will eventually quit doing it if she wants you to stay. Girls will pay the most attention to the one who pays the least to them, this is not a permission slip to be rude it just means the hottest girl at the party will likely choose to speak to you if you act like talking to her is no big deal. Almost forgot please learn to read body language for the most part it will clue you into what the deal really is.

[edit on 8-9-2007 by Jovi1]

I sound a little like this girl.

I am "seeing" this DJ in a bar, he is lovely he is kind he is cute he is everything I said I wanted....

But now i have it... i get bored, scared, defensive, emotional and rahhhhhish.

I sat and spoke with Asala and I explained my issues and she does understand why I am so different once I have what I want..... It goes emotional for me and even Asala.

One example...

I said don't ring me i want to be with family and friends this weekend, but when he didn't ring me i was pissed off.... ???

Why? don't know, i rang him and asked why... he said because you said not to... but i wanted him too....

I am a dominant girl, but I don't like a man i can walk over....

At the beginning of the relationship you where soft with her and have not said or done anything... were she will go....

" I can walk over this boy, if he isn't going to stop me then why shouldn't i being a bitch"

(sorry language!)

You put your foot down, will make her a little more

" oooh so he does care what i do, say and think!?!?"

The whole chatting up men, is a typical example...

Go into a room, your guy is on your every word, not doing or saying anything and you want him to be protective you want him to say " this is my girl, look but don't touch" to everyone, hand on hip, on arm.

She talks to a man, but does the girl signs which are chatting up, and she does it so it is obvious to you... she wants you to come over and say,

"hey babe, wanna go"... or "hey you wanna drink"...

or say to the guy " hey mate" and put your arms around her waist.

But if she isn't your girlfriend get rid mate.

But its up to you but i would be a complete jam roll if i was in your situation.

Hope this helped

Oni x x

thx oni and yea you seem exactly like her and the girl on your pic also looks like her : D
if i could go back in time and slap my self for being nice.
there are lots of other girls that are better and nicer than her but still i got struckt by lightning when i see her so perfect^^
problem is im so sick in the head i actualy enjoy sometimes when she treats me this way.
well i guess ill slap my self when i have that kinda thouths....gotaa put her in place if i want a chance with her...then sometimes i can let her enjoy herself XD

You complemented me then insulted me.

So Thanks

But I hope that helped you to look at her and not blame her.

Because I am a nice person but I do not do relationship, I am a good friend even best friend but not a girlfriend.

Oni x x

i didnt understand how did i insult you?

Originally posted by Oni x x
I sound a little like this girl.

I am "seeing" this DJ in a bar, he is lovely he is kind he is cute he is everything I said I wanted....

But now i have it... i get bored, scared, defensive, emotional and rahhhhhish.

I sat and spoke with Asala and I explained my issues and she does understand why I am so different once I have what I want..... It goes emotional for me and even Asala.

One example...

I said don't ring me i want to be with family and friends this weekend, but when he didn't ring me i was pissed off.... ???

Why? don't know, i rang him and asked why... he said because you said not to... but i wanted him too....

I am a dominant girl, but I don't like a man i can walk over....

At the beginning of the relationship you where soft with her and have not said or done anything... were she will go....

" I can walk over this boy, if he isn't going to stop me then why shouldn't i being a bitch"

(sorry language!)

You put your foot down, will make her a little more

" oooh so he does care what i do, say and think!?!?"

The whole chatting up men, is a typical example...

Go into a room, your guy is on your every word, not doing or saying anything and you want him to be protective you want him to say " this is my girl, look but don't touch" to everyone, hand on hip, on arm.

She talks to a man, but does the girl signs which are chatting up, and she does it so it is obvious to you... she wants you to come over and say,

"hey babe, wanna go"... or "hey you wanna drink"...

or say to the guy " hey mate" and put your arms around her waist.

But if she isn't your girlfriend get rid mate.

But its up to you but i would be a complete jam roll if i was in your situation.

Hope this helped

Oni x x

This are the kind of girls I make fun of, I like to ruin their day and bring them in a stage of total darknes and confusion.....so they can think for them selfs and say..I'm a bad girl, what I have becomed..hahha