I think I'm in love with an older woman.

Originally posted by Unisol

36 year old woman usualy may fall in a mood they think theyr old,they wanna feel attractive so not too hard sleeping with a fresh young fella^^
just play it cool

Careful now....I'm 36. I do not feel old at all.Even though I have been a mom for 20 years.I still feel like I'm 24.And I'm not really attracted to younger guys.I prefer older ones.Like say...39-40.

Love is a wonderful and euphoric emotion, but reality is that it does not conquer all.

Be realistic, accepting and understand that she is older and probably less likely to want to be with a younger man for what I believe are obvious reasons.

Be careful you dont make the mistake of thinking that what you create in your mind, the fantasy of a relationship with her, is actually the way it will be.

I sound pessimistic I know, but I have life experience here and I am a 30 year old woman who knows what I would feel if a 19 year old admired me.

Do not let the opportunity to love other woman pass by while you obsess over a woman you are unsure of.

And in reference to the game of attraction and being stand-offish men feel they have to play. It doesnt work for someone who wants a serious long-term relationship. Trust me.

If you were the one that is 33 and she were 14 years older than you, then I'd say no problem, let your heart be your guide. But as it stands, you're only 19 and she's 33, which pretty much instantly brands her as a perv that likes young guys and boytoys. Lucky for her you're just old enough that it wouldn't be illegal for her.

Originally posted by fweshcawfee
If you were the one that is 33 and she were 14 years older than you, then I'd say no problem, let your heart be your guide. But as it stands, you're only 19 and she's 33, which pretty much instantly brands her as a perv that likes young guys and boytoys. Lucky for her you're just old enough that it wouldn't be illegal for her.

I have to disagree with you. I don't think it's "perverted" to like someone younger than you especially if they are of consenting age.

Now if it was some little kid like 12 years old then I could see that as being disgusting.

But once your legal age all is fair game IMO.

Humbleone...I'm not trying to rain on your parade..
But..Iam 36 and I have a son who is 20. It is possible that she views you as a young man...but not old enough for her....
She is almost old enough to be your mother.Perhaps that is not disturbing to you...but it may be to her.
Just my 2 cents...

reply to post by thehumbleone


Of course you say that, you're a young guy who's getting attention and about to get some... you haven't been around long enough yet to see a situation like the one you're in realistically.

Anyway your mind is obviously made up so I don't know why you even bothered to make this thread, clearly you're willing to go for it with the woman and get all you can. Have fun. Cya.

reply to post by AccessDenied


So, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have a 15 year age difference and they were together.

I know you're trying to help out but I really don't see anything weird about it. Maybe I'm just blinded by lust.

Originally posted by thehumbleone
Maybe I'm just blinded by lust.

So is it love or lust?

Clearly a definition of what you feel needs to be made then you can decide what you would want from her.

Seriously doubt she would appreciatte this thread though..Sometimes I wonder about putting a relationship out there like this and what people expect. Sorry no offense ot the OP intended, just my humble opinion that real love is a personal and deeply intense thing. Pearls before swines so to speak.

Originally posted by Ellipsis


So is it love or lust?

I have to admit it's probably more lust than anything.

Seriously doubt she would appreciatte this thread though..Sometimes I wonder about putting a relationship out there like this and what people expect.

Well I've been pretty ambiguous about the whole thing and I haven't said too much, so I don't think there's a problem.

Pearls before swines so to speak.

You got that from Jesus.

reply to post by thehumbleone


But Ashton is not 19 buddy...
And I know the damn Demi Moore jokes are gonna have at me for this post (been told I look like her).
I'm not saying that it can never work...I'm sure there are instances where it has.
Having an age difference of 10-15 years can work for some...when they are older.
IMHO...you need to gain more knowledge and experience with girls your own age...and your own life in general...before you think about commiting yourself to what is in my opinion right now...a fantasy.

reply to post by AccessDenied


ugh, I know your probably right but have you ever had that feeling where you see something and you just got to have it?

reply to post by thehumbleone


Yes my boy...THAT IS LUST!

reply to post by AccessDenied


Yeah, i finaly admitted it a couple of posts up. :shk: :w:

reply to post by thehumbleone


That is your first step...now take another and move forward...

As an older woman, all I can say is, Oh you poor thing.

Seriously though, I'm 50 and I'm dating a guy that's 31 (same age as my daughter). He's fun but not terribly interesting and we haven't had one deep or serious conversation yet. I don't think he knows how so I just enjoy the silliness and fast car. In small doses. I don't call him to chat on the phone.

I think some younger guys like dating older women because they think we're too old to get knocked up. (We're not). They have issues with their mothers. (I'm not interested in resolving for them). We're usually at a point in our lives where we make more money than they do. (Takes stress off them financially while dating). A lot of older women buy stuff for younger guys (not sure why-insecurity?).

Sometimes, (rarely) age in a relationship is "just a number" but, more often than not, it is a determining factor in the direction a relationship CAN move. There's no continuity of generational memories. No shared experiences of cultural awakenings. (Remember what you were doing when Kennedy was assasinated? How did you handle the whole free-love era? See what I mean?) If the woman in question has any maturity at all, she won't get serious with a 19 year old. Kind of like dessert-a nice treat once in a while but you can't get any substance. No offense intended at all. You may be a rare young man of substance but most 19 year olds are not.

Also, men fall in love because they enjoy the sex. Women enjoy the sex because they're in love. Do you share common interests? Common goals? Do you want to have kids? She won't want to wait much longer if you do. Do you invite her to hang out with your friends? Have you seen her without her make-up? Does she need her car fixed or her refrigerator moved? Do you want to go to college? Is she recently divorced or otherwise on the rebound and needing an ego boost that having a young stud attracted to her would bring? These are not romantic questions but they need to be asked. Love may be blind but it doesn't have to be stupid. If it's just lust (as I suspect), let her know up front. If she's mature and honest with herself, she'll probably be grateful that you don't expect her to "settle down". She may just be in it for the good times, too.

Originally posted by whitewave
Kind of like dessert-a nice treat once in a while but you can't get any substance. No offense intended at all. You may be a rare young man of substance but most 19 year olds are not.

None taken. I realize I may be too immature to date this woman seriously.

If it's just lust (as I suspect), let her know up front. If she's mature and honest with herself, she'll probably be grateful that you don't expect her to "settle down". She may just be in it for the good times, too.

You hit it right on the spot with last sentence. I now realize I just want to have a good time.

Originally posted by whitewave
men fall in love because they enjoy the sex. Women enjoy the sex because they're in love.

If you can say that at 50 years old then apparently you've lived 2/3 of your life already without ever once having met a decent man. Maybe you're just attracted to the wrong types... most women are.

I believe he just said I was right and that he was just in it for the good times yet he started out saying he thought he was in love.
I've met plenty of decent men but you're right about them not being attracted to me. I've met a few young men that made me wish I were 20+ years younger because I certainly never ran across any men of substance when I was their age. I've heard a few younger guys tell me that women their age are too shallow, easy, and materialistic to get seriously interested in. That gives me hope for the future. Glad to know it's not always about lust.