Guadeloupe, French West Indies, page 1

Well, I just spent about three and a half weeks in Guadeloupe doing who knows what. Sleeping and getting wasted I guess. Such is the life of a 19 year old jet setter. My journey took me through San Juan Puerto Rico and on to Pointe-a-Pitre, Guadeloupe.

Within the first day, my little brother (whom I travelled with) set off on his search for 'Ganja.' Me being on probation with a test looming, could not permit myself to partake in this for the reason that it would probably cause a lot of legal hassels. So instead, I went on a search for yae-yo. Mission Success. We located a friend from Montreal who was living there and he was able to hook us up with the proper connections and in no time we were ready to party.

The Ganja was not very good from the looks of it, and later I was told that it was local after a native who spoke alright English after studying it in university said, "Ya, In guadeloupe, dun erryman smoke ganja, errybody have a tree." The coke, I was told, was uncut columbian and this explained the outrageous price. While my brother was able to aquire his stash at a rate of 20 euro for 20 grams, I was unable to do any better than 50 euro for a single gram. The USD had fallen significantly against the euro and I was pissed, but hey they were just drugs. On the upside I was able to buy a bottle of Moet and Chandon for a staggering 20 euro when the same bottle in the US would cost between $60 and $80.

The people were fantastic and besides the fact that they couldnt speak much of anything besides French didnt matter. Our days were spent smoking ganja by the Marina-Bas du Fort and sipping on overpriced beers. The Rum tasted like azz and was as powerful as moonshine since I bought the cheap stuff for 4 euro a liter, crazy. They didnt stock my beloved Marlboro 27's yet (Smirnoff Ice had just come out), so I had to smoke a pack and a half of Mediums to get my nicotine levels to an acceptable level. Well, we partied our balls off by night and chilled in the sun all day at the Marina but after a week and a half of that it was time to move on.

Club Med, St. Anne was off the beaten path a little bit and thorugh my years of indulgance on my parents oil money It seemed decrepit by comparison to some of the resorts I'd stayed in like Hilton Waikaloa and Grand Hyatt Kuta, Bali. But how can you compare. It was the first all inclusive I've ever stayed at and for 2 grand for over a week it seemed like a steal of a deal. Days here were spent, you guessed it, getting wasted and sitting on the beach staring at boobs. It was very euro (duh, FRENCH West Indites). Most of the clientele were either French or Italian and the women were beautiful. A charter plane of New Yorkers arrived around the same time we did and you could tell the difference, they didnt know how to party at all. Leave it to the Southern/New Zealanders to show them whats up.

It didn't take long to realize that the free mixed drinks were fakes and the placebo effect of the bar contributed more to the buzz. I managed to snag a few bottles of wine from the restaurant after dinner on most occasions for the night time and during the day I drank draft beers. My brother and I must have looked like retards.

One time we took out a lazer it was friggin impossible. My stoned azz brother manned the tiller while I controlled the hallyard. Needless to say we couldnt follow the stupid french lady's instructions and managed to get far enough out to sea to start having serious fun. Extremely large waves and a gusty tradewind contributed to us surfing down 15 foot faces and capsizing the boat out of my brothers stoned stupidity about a mile offshore, but that was the best part.

Between the beach and the drinking I managed to get in about 150 pushups to get a good pump going before I headed to the beach. I got plenty of second stares and later at night plenty of french action. It was great. New Years I spent skeeted and drunk and managed to have a #in great time teaching people how to dance erratically. No booty dancing here like back in South Carolina, but there were plenty of lessons on that too.

The food was excellent and I ate about 5 courses per meal, gaining 15 pounds in a week and a half. The booze sucked but the beer and wine more than made up for it. The women were gorgeous and not shy in the least. All in all both my brother and I had a good time and an unforgettable (the moments I didnt automatically forget) experience. I think I'm a go back someday when I aquire more funds but it was the perfect way to spend a winter. I highly recommend Guadeloupe to anyone who doesn't want to do the regular old touristy thing. Immerse yourself in a completely foreign culture and see what it does to you. You'll become more fulfilled and aware of yourself as a person, however you may return speaking pigeon english.

[Edited on 1-14-2004 by insite]