Amazing Thoughts

A few years ago i was seriously considering suicide as i was quite depressed and the thoughts lasted for a few weeks where i was deciding how, where and when to do it.
Anyway my point is during this time i had really amazing thoughts about God, the world, space etc. I also had plans in my head about how to make things invisible and how to time travel.
Unfortunately i woke up one morning a few weeks later and found that i had lost all interest in the suicide and i had also forgotten what i had thought about and i wish i had written them down.
Has anyone else experienced this?

During a very stressful, chaotic, scarring period of my life about 15 years ago, I oddly had a near obsession with God, the compulsion to know and experience God was amazing... and the more I sought God, understanding, awareness and guidance, the more anguish and despair I found... the more peace fled from me.

In hindsight I'm not sure if my thoughts being drawn to God during that time were what lead me into such a dark period of my life, or what saved me from being completely destroyed by it.

Glad you made it through your ordeal, maybe for you God is a great source of strength and to fill your thoughts with him yields positive energies in your life. In my case it wasn't so, or certainly didn't seem to be.

I always viewed my moments of depression as opportunities for introspection; in fact, I tend to write the most during such periods. I haven't checked for a occurrence pattern yet, as these periods are becoming less and less.

However, when I revisit my words, I cannot fully associate myself with what I have written. My view of the world may have grown to accommodate the recent musings, but it is as if the writer -- the person I was -- is gone. Not changed: gone.

I wonder what the brain is doing up there...?

I wrotealot at the time too. Poetry and stories but now i can't remember in what direction the stories aresupposed to go. It's as if it is not meant to be

I had some down times in my past as well ... it does seem to influence writing/poetry. The only one I sent to the school paper, under a pen name, was poem of the month the last issue of my senior year of which I wrote a couple years prior.

While my writing was driven by sadness and desperation in a way, it also had the hint of desire for love as well. After making it through that period and meeting a girl and first engagement ... I had a hard time writing much more than a short love poem for my love.

After losing her ... I actually didn't find much comfort in writing anymore, and had just now after many years gotten back ready to write, with a clean slate. I still don't find it as easy as before, when the words seemed to flow like water or tears ... but, in finding my inner child/innocence again ... I found I can write new and different than ever before ... with a new hope.

Through depression or without ... I have always enjoyed deep contemplation on things, usually in a very idealistic way. I envision(ed) the world as a peaceful, non-monetary based society, working together for the happiness of each other ... I contemplate on the universe, the galaxies, many 'extra-terrestrial' things. As a child I figured light as mass, and can affect things such as sound, but on a very minute level (before I learned about wavelengths and such) ... and it light can be bent by gravity and affected by magnetism ... then I was right, at least to a certain extent, but school doesn't lend to such abstract thoughts well, and I don't fathom as many strange possibilities as much as I did pre-K.

Our minds are very powerful. When we let go of all the things we are forced to learn, and just let our thought go into the unknown, without any pre-conceived laws/rules ... we tap into something that I think most inventors, theorists have managed to find. It is easy to lose touch with this side of ourselves, since our world is full of distraction and so-called 'rules'.

I believe the reason people that are in dire emotional situations can sometimes have revelations is because out of the complete disabling stress and desperation, they lose the brainwashing of today's society and can for a moment see the purity of life. It is great that this can save people from destroying themselves, and it is a shame most lose the mental progress afterwards. We would all be better off if we could look at things from a less selfish perspective of existence.

Even though you had lost those thoughts, doesn't mean they are gone forever. Take time without tv, radio/music, and just spend time with yourself. Don't force it, just let your mind drift away. You may get it back ... if not, at least you are still around to try, I believe with enough relaxation and letting go of the mainstream perception of reality, we all can have our own epiphany. I hope no one ever falls into a self-destructive depression again.

I'm glad everyone made it through their rough times. I have nothing to comment directly on the topic but as a side note I thought you should know that you may have saved yourself more trouble than you realize. Take this in any way you like. I'm not pushing any sort of belief system - I consider myself more or less agnostic. I believe there is some sort of driving force to the universe but I don't believe in worshiping through any organized religion. I think people should figure out how to be at peace in their own way...

Anyway, to the point - I heard something interesting on a paranormal radio show a while back. they had a medium that claimed to have some understanding of what happens when we die. they said we are left to judge ourselves. if we feel guilty about what we've done we would dwell on those parts of our lives and possibly relive it to understand it from other perspectives. that sounds like what christianity might consider hell. once you get past that then you can rejoin "the collective". =) if you murdered someone, even yourself, you are forced to relive your life through the eyes of the ones that were affected by it. so you would get to see how hard you made it on other because of the choice you made.

again, i'm not expecting anyone to buy that, i just thought i would throw that out there in case it might strike a chord with someone.