Are You American - Take The Test

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'............. So I says to myself, Self? How do you know if you're a true American or not?
Hmmmmmmmmmm........................ Let's see..........
Let me pull out my fancy notebook, and my trusty No. 3 pencil.

Let's see................

1) Make sure that you drive the biggest most gas guzzlin' car you can.
2) Use as many disposable products as possible while complaining about yet another landfill opening up.
3) Actually believe that Paris Hilton is newsworthy.
4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
5) Drink a $4.00 bottled water while watchin' the commercial on TV that shows that $1.00 a day can save the life of a child, and think to yourself, maybe next month I'll send a check.
6) Use the recycling bucket if it's closer than the regular trashcan. But if that trashcan is closer than the recycling bucket - well.......I mean who's gonna know?
7) Complain as much as possible about the government, and when voting time comes stay home. I mean how is your vote going to matter?
8) Play video baseball, football, and soccer. Who needs to play outside and sweat and stuff?
9) Blame the teachers for the bad and unruly behavior of our children - and get those teachers fired if they DARE to try and discipline those unruly kids.
10) When some other country does something, you're standard answer should be "Nuke 'em".

Yep - that's one fine checklist!

(You know, this started out to be a joke. Now I'm depressed......)

1) Make sure that you drive the biggest most gas guzzlin' car you can.
Check but I only own 1 car

2) Use as many disposable products as possible while complaining about yet another landfill opening up.
Nope

3) Actually believe that Paris Hilton is newsworthy.
Nope

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
Nope I hate order out pizza

5) Drink a $4.00 bottled water while watchin' the commercial on TV that shows that $1.00 a day can save the life of a child, and think to yourself, maybe next month I'll send a check.
Nope I send money to various charities I just dont have a set schedule to do so.

6) Use the recycling bucket if it's closer than the regular trashcan. But if that trashcan is closer than the recycling bucket - well.......I mean who's gonna know?
Nope

7) Complain as much as possible about the government, and when voting time comes stay home. I mean how is your vote going to matter?
Nope I vote but the people I vote for never win

8) Play video baseball, football, and soccer. Who needs to play outside and sweat and stuff?
Check (Not able to run so I do shooting sports)

9) Blame the teachers for the bad and unruly behavior of our children - and get those teachers fired if they DARE to try and discipline those unruly kids.
Nope my kids my responsibilty

10) When some other country does something, you're standard answer should be "Nuke 'em".
Nope

Maybe I am un American

DarkStormCrow - Don't know if you're UN American or not - but I like your answers!

1) Make sure that you drive the biggest most gas guzzlin' car you can.
>>>Well, I drive a van, but only own one vehicle, and my wife and I carpool together. Also, I need the space for my sideline occupation

2) Use as many disposable products as possible while complaining about yet another landfill opening up.
>>>Not at all, I try to avoid disposable containers or at least those that aren't biodegradable, but isn't easy given our choices

3) Actually believe that Paris Hilton is newsworthy.
>>>No, but she serves as a great distraction while our rights are stripped away I suppose...

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
>>>Well, it does suck, but we Americans also shell out more in foreign aid than many other "uppity" nations combined (and we do so to our declared "enemies" as well). Still though, I don't want my damn pizza taking too long.

5) Drink a $4.00 bottled water while watchin' the commercial on TV that shows that $1.00 a day can save the life of a child, and think to yourself, maybe next month I'll send a check.
>>>It is against every fiber of my being to pay for water. Besides, most bottled water is tap...all you're doing is paying more for the container. As for $1 to feed a starving kid...that's great in theory, but it really ends up in the local warlord's bank more often than not...sad world we live in. I prefer to give to local charities where I can see it being put to use.

6) Use the recycling bucket if it's closer than the regular trashcan. But if that trashcan is closer than the recycling bucket - well.......I mean who's gonna know?
>>>It's such a simple thing to read and abide...I don't see the point in not recycling, if the receptacles are provided.

7) Complain as much as possible about the government, and when voting time comes stay home. I mean how is your vote going to matter?
>>>I even vote in local elections, not just every four years. It's a right, exercise it.

8) Play video baseball, football, and soccer. Who needs to play outside and sweat and stuff?
>>>Well, the rest of the world are complete soccer fanatics, pretty much, so this is hardly an American trait. Competiion is certainly American though, so no big surprise there. Now, should atheletes get millions for playing a game? No, can't agree with that one at all...

9) Blame the teachers for the bad and unruly behavior of our children - and get those teachers fired if they DARE to try and discipline those unruly kids.
>>>This is squarely on the parents. Problem is, these days, both parents need to work, so more child raising responsibility is going to the teachers (who frankly aren't trained or paid for this extra responsibility). This could be easily solved by getting away from our WAY outdated agrarian school schedule, and making school 9-5 like the regular workday, allowing parents time to watch their kids.

10) When some other country does something, you're standard answer should be "Nuke 'em".
>>>I'm more of the "Embargo them into the poorhouse", but if embargoes don't work, I'm more of the "Bomb them into the stone age" variety or the "subvert from within" variety (where it will work). Nukes are messy and affect the neighbors... Diplomacy should always be the first attempt however, but without teeth, diplomacy is waggling in the wind. True and effective diplomacy needs to have set guidelines and penalties for not adhering to those guidelines.

Originally posted by Gazrok

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
>>>Well, it does suck, but we Americans also shell out more in foreign aid than many other "uppity" nations combined (and we do so to our declared "enemies" as well). Still though, I don't want my damn pizza taking too long.

Well said!

Originally posted by Gazrok

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
>>>Well, it does suck, but we Americans also shell out more in foreign aid than many other "uppity" nations combined (and we do so to our declared "enemies" as well). Still though, I don't want my damn pizza taking too long.

Well said!

Originally posted by Gazrok

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
>>>Well, it does suck, but we Americans also shell out more in foreign aid than many other "uppity" nations combined (and we do so to our declared "enemies" as well). Still though, I don't want my damn pizza taking too long.

Well said!

Well Im almost embarrased to admit, but its true so true. (All of it)

1) Make sure that you drive the biggest most gas guzzlin' car you can.

Nope, I don't even have a vehicle.

2) Use as many disposable products as possible while complaining about yet another landfill opening up. Nope

3) Actually believe that Paris Hilton is newsworthy. Not no, but hell no. I have written extensively that I think that the attention paid to people like Hilton is part of the dumbing down of America.

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.
Nope

5) Drink a $4.00 bottled water while watchin' the commercial on TV that shows that $1.00 a day can save the life of a child, and think to yourself, maybe next month I'll send a check.
I rarely drink water.

6) Use the recycling bucket if it's closer than the regular trashcan. But if that trashcan is closer than the recycling bucket - well.......I mean who's gonna know?
I do do that.

7) Complain as much as possible about the government, and when voting time comes stay home. I mean how is your vote going to matter?
While that is tempting, I try to vote.

8) Play video baseball, football, and soccer. Who needs to play outside and sweat and stuff?
Nope

9) Blame the teachers for the bad and unruly behavior of our children - and get those teachers fired if they DARE to try and discipline those unruly kids.
Nope

10) When some other country does something, you're standard answer should be "Nuke 'em".

Well, I'll plead the fifth amendment on this one.

By your standards, I am probably only a tenth American.

[edit on 31-7-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

I'm so not American. And I think your being a little hard on yourself there Lombozo.

I don't believe for a nano second that you are at all like that. other than the pizza thing which is completely understandable. "Pizza dude's got 30 seconds" said in my best ninja turtle voice!

As my wise old Grandpa always used to say. "Charity starts at home"..."and that's where it should stay!"

I think if I wanted to become American I could find some poor misguided deluded, bi-polar, alcholic, half blind and seriously medicated woman to marry me!

...

...

Found One, Getting hitched in Vegas next week, you're all invited!

Monkey

1) Make sure that you drive the biggest most gas guzzlin' car you can.

I usually go for the cheapest most fuel economical car I can find. I'm poor, I don't have thousands for SUV's or the gas.

2) Use as many disposable products as possible while complaining about yet another landfill opening up.

I typically re-use everything and buy refillable products (which traditionally are cheaper). Again, I'm poor, I can't afford to use anything disposable.

3) Actually believe that Paris Hilton is newsworthy.

I hate that little brat, I wish she would fade into nothing, media wise.

4) When you hear about a tragedy in another country think 'Man that really sucks.' while complaining that your pizza is takin' too long to get here.

I usually get upset when something devastating happens in other countries. So no...

5) Drink a $4.00 bottled water while watchin' the commercial on TV that shows that $1.00 a day can save the life of a child, and think to yourself, maybe next month I'll send a check.

I'm with other people on this, why buy cases of bottled water when there is tap. As for charity, I donate food, clothes and time. I really can't do much more.

6) Use the recycling bucket if it's closer than the regular trashcan. But if that trashcan is closer than the recycling bucket - well.......I mean who's gonna know?

Yeah, I'm guilty of this from time to time.

7) Complain as much as possible about the government, and when voting time comes stay home. I mean how is your vote going to matter?

I only don't vote, when I'm protesting the candidates. I know I can go and write in something, but... typically, I feel that doesn't get any attention anyway.

8) Play video baseball, football, and soccer. Who needs to play outside and sweat and stuff?

I don't play video anything. I don't play real life anything either. I'm a walker, that's what I am. That's what I do.

9) Blame the teachers for the bad and unruly behavior of our children - and get those teachers fired if they DARE to try and discipline those unruly kids.

No i blame the kids for being unruly. I don't think anyone should hit or spank a child, but sitting them in the corner... or.... taking privileges away is fine by me.

10) When some other country does something, you're standard answer should be "Nuke 'em".

I don't agree with war or retaliation. I do believe in justice though. Go find the culprits and bring them to justice. A country isn't responsible for one little band of terrorists. Just go and get that one guy... don't make terrorist sympathizers by bombing all the villages. How stupid can that be.


I guess I'm kind of American.