Am I being selfish?

I need some feedback on a problem I've been having. Valentines Day '05 My husband adopted a dog for Our family from the SPCA, cute, huh? I really enjoyed Her at 1st. She was housebroken, gentle with the kids, etc.. My allergies got progressively worse since She's been here, mainly My asthma. Allergist said get rid of Her or move Her outside. I told My husband that she'd have to have a kennel outside and even offered to have her house equipt with heat in the winter. Well, He felt bad for Her & asked if She could be in the house but not in the liv. room where we spend most of Our time & if She could sleep in the sunroom but not in the main part of the house. Feeling guilty & selfish I said OK. It's not much of an improvement since She's still in the house & I'm still exposed to Her dander. BUT... over the last 6 mo. She's pooping everywhere. I take Her out, she goes to the bathroom comes in & poops again. I can't tell You how many times I've had to scrub the stuff off the walls, yeah, I know, gross. In addition to that She's started to roll in Her own feces. She's never left out alone 'cuz We don't have a fence but poops, drops and rolls before I can stop Her. Allergies & the poop things are more than I can handle. A kennel wouldn't even be an option now due to the poop baths 'cuz I'd be responsible for cleaning Her. That's part of the problem, He works full time + so I'm the 1 who's gotta do the dirty work, and it's dirty folks, mouth-breathing just doesn't cut it. Last wk. after scrubbing Her crate, walls and carpet, in addition to 2 baths I told Him She's gotta go. Well, He's pretty bitter over it. He's upset & I totally understand. It's been really chilly between Us as of late and He said that getting rid of Her would be a sore spot between Us for a long time. Here's where I ask 'Am I being selfish'? I feel horrible over the whole thing. Sometimes I'm sad for Him, sometimes I'm ticked off 'cuz I feel he should be more understanding of My situation. Any advice or suggestions?

Peace. K*

Asthma is a serious health condition. In my opinion, he is the one being selfish, and he's projecting that onto you as a defensive measure.

If you're allergic to the dog, it's making you sick, and you're the one responsible for it's care, then it's your choice to get rid of it.

Tell your husband to suck it up. It's a dog -- which is more important, the dog or your health? The dog or your marriage?

Force hubby to tale a weel off work to look after the dog.

Men in general (myself included) have very little patients for cleaning up after someone/something else.

Then talk about the problem again!

Have you considered having the dog re-trained? Maybe a pro could put a stop to the poop drop and roll problem!

A dog is for life not just for christmas, with possible sandwiches on Boxing day. Ya feelin me dogg!

I think you are being selfish. Poor defenseless dog. Pff.

I've thought about a trainer for her, she's sooo smart and could learn just about anything. She learned to 'sit' and 'shake' both in 1 day. The problem here is, well, I'd have to take her, again, asthma. There's a gentleman My husband knows that His dog died about 6 mo. ago who may be interested in adopting Her. I hope so, She really does deserve a home that can offer her everything She needs and She can't get that here. I never understood the whole buying people pets/dogs as gifts. That's a really big decision to make for someone other than Yourself. Next year candy and a card will suffice.

Peace. K*

I agree Demetre, a pet is not a present.

The dog may be out of control with the pooping because she knows there is tension in the house over her presence.

It would be far kinder to find her a good home.

my wife wants to get a dog. A little "lap" dog.

I don't really like dogs.

She's already stated, that if she gets one, it will have the run of the house, etc.

I told her I don't like the idea, and it certainly is not getting in my car.

The subject comes up every few months, right now I'm in the clear, I hope she just lets it go.


I don't think you're being selfish. It's affecting your health and you shouldn't have to put up with being sick, becuase of the dog and you especially shouldn't be the one cleaning up.

Have you tried some pet washes, I am also alergic to pet dander. I have tried washing the dogs with some different essential oils. A few drops of peppermint, calendula, comfrey, and a few drops of lemon essential oils have worked wonders for me. It is safe for the dog and great for you. As for the dog rolling in its feces, well I would get a good trainer or some books on training.

as far as the poop thing, its probably a psychological thing for the dog, maybe research it...

I understand your problem because we had a cat that my man HATED, but I loved that cat sooooo much! (He was a bad cat....but he was my first pet and I loved him to death. as the old saying goes "BAD pet, but a GOOD friend." Well, that cat ran away and I was devistated for a very long time. I took it very badly. Needless to say, my man felt bad for me but he said he was happy the cat was gone. That really stung me, especially while I was trying to find him and he wouldnt help me. Its been a few months since then, and Im getting over it. It really hurts me, but Im almost thankful he ran away because I dont know what we would have done with him...

Your husband is going to be upset, but the #1 thing that will help him is to give the dog to a good home. Dont just drop it off at the pound. That will really upset him because its like abandoning the dog. Take the dog to a vet or even a reputable pet store to ask about the poop thing. But make sure you give him to a good home. Your husband will be sad, but he will take it better knowing your trying to help the dog.

To the poster above me, your cat "ran away"? Hmm... ingenious!

Sounds like you wanna get one of those machines for finding bones (CSI stylee) and have a good look around the yard!!



Also you could put your husband in touch with Demetre, maybe even make a few bucks!

(I'm just kiddin with ya) When I was a kid my rabbit (Snowball, and yes it was white) "ran away". Then ten years later I was digging some footings for a new rockery wall and I found loads of bones. It was snowball! The truth was a fox had munched her, but my mum couldn't tell me that!

Originally posted by WestPoint23
To the poster above me, your cat "ran away"? Hmm... ingenious!

LOL i guess thats the nice word for it. He just disapeared! So I block out the horrible possibilities by simply saying to myself "he ran away and is living in the bayou with his kitty girlfriend happily ever after!"

(*sobbing in the corner*)