Is Marriage an absolute necessity?

It is said that marriage is like is fruit. You repent if you don't eat it and you also repent if you eat it (on a lighter note). What is your take on that? Are married men and women better citizens? If anyone decides to remain unmarried,what options does he has to remain sociable? Do unmarried people lead a happy life? What happens in the old age? Lets find out...

AryanWatch

I am not married and happy about it. It gives you tons of free time. Best combination is when you can unmarry your job too, so then you are almost completely free to do whatever you want, if you have finances of course.

When i see family scenes in movies i always think how much time they spend for nonsense. Well, it's love and all that crap, but still so much time wasted. All you need is money and power.

I guess it depends on what type of person you are. Some people would go crazy without a family, so being alone is not for everyone.

I am not married and happy about it.

sb2012 - If you are unmarried but you are only between say 30 - 35 years of age,my bet is that you might want to get married. I have seen a lot of my friends who remained single till about 40 and then one fine day decided to go for it. You know what I mean

I don't think people can be categorized like that. Some people are happily married, some are happily single. Some people are unhappily married and single, too. It all depends on the person and their desires and priorities in life.

I don't think marriage is absolutely necessary to answer the OP. But I personally enjoy a lifetime companion to grow with and learn from.

There are good and bad things about being married and being single, though.

Yes, some people have this need to marry someone at all costs. I really don't know what's wrong with them. I prefer being alone and free.

About partners, well it's cool but committing to one partner for entire life... C'mon, that's boring.

Is marriage an absolute necessity, you ask?

Naw...just find someone you hate, and buy them a house.
(Ok, I'm kidding, awright?)

[edit on 29-6-2007 by JohnnyCanuck]

Originally posted by sb2012
About partners, well it's cool but committing to one partner for entire life... C'mon, that's boring.

If you commit to the wrong person or don't make your marriage work, I can see your point, but I celebrated my 15th anniversary this past week and my relationship is FAR from boring!

(Actually we didn't "celebrate". We didn't realize it until the next day. )

Sounds nice, happy anniversary! Maybe i will try it someday after all. But i have so much to do, so much in front of me. Ah well...

[edit on 29-6-2007 by sb2012]

After thinking about it, the only good reason I can think for marrying is that it guarantees some legal rights to both partners in the marriage and allows offspring to have a legal right to the wealth of the parents. From my viewpoint, even unmarried people can be completely committed to each other. However, having said that, getting married was the best thing I ever did and have not regretted it for one minute. I thoroughly recommend it.

While I don't think it's a necessity, I do think it helps. I am thirty and unmarried, and I have to say, it's hard. It's not only hard dealing with people's reactions to being thirty years of age and not married, but it's just hard subsisting.

SOT, I agree, in these times, being single means more of a financial struggle.

I was single all my life until I was 49 y.o. (except for 3 yrs. when I was briefly married.) I was a flight attendant, travelled all over the world, dated and met interesting people, did my art and writing and did alot of things that were wonderful and fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's what made me who I am today.
Then at age 49, was reunited with an old flame and we moved in together after 6 months. We've been together for 4 years and I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. My husband is a wonderful guy and very thoughtful, he's a great life partner. He was 58 when we got together.

I have to say that I'm glad I did it the way I did, spending most of my adult life alone until later in life. I think in our youth we should have fun, learn about the world, travel, etc. and date all the people you want. Later on, most of us have a tendency to want to settle down, stay in one place and stay in the same job. Well, after 1.5 years, my husband and I retired, moved to the beautiful mountains of Tennessee and we don't have to work!!! I have no desire to be with anyone else and I got very tired of dating in the last couple years of my singlehood, whereas when I was young, I had no use for marriage.

I do have to say that we aren't legally married (lots of complications so that divorcing his ex wasn't a good idea) but we are married in the eyes of our church. I don't think people have to be married but it's a good idea if they have children.

BUT, marriage/partnership is only fun if it's with the right person, otherwise forget it. It's worth waiting for that right person.

OOPS, SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING.

[edit on 29/6/07 by forestlady]

[edit on 29/6/07 by forestlady]

I have to say that I'm glad I did it the way I did, spending most of my adult life alone until later in life. I think in our youth we should have fun, learn about the world, travel, etc. and date all the people you want.

That looks like a great idea...only thing is all these activities become much more enjoyable if you have someone special by your side and not just any other date...

True with the wrong person it is hell, but it's more hell for a man if he has kids with the wrong person and never committed to marriage.

Then so much can unravel.

I have been in two long de facto relationships, but if I had my time over again I would marry irrespective if it were the right or wrong person. With the right person it is a wonderful thing and does honour to your spouse.

If you hover in indecision and wont commit then you're dishonouring that person.

Marriage gives the male (and that's the only perspective I can talk from) but also the children some legal protections. It also gives the woman some security and certainty.

I think the fear of commitment is a great big self indulgent cop out.

If a person is good enough to go to bed with and have kids with then they're good enough to marry too. I don't say this from any religious conviction. I just think now that marriage and kids are really important and self indulgence isn't.

Self indulgence contributes nothing to society and is corrosive of the individula too in the long run.

sy,...couldn't have said it better. Am in a long-term relationship, or was, but although I am an attractive, self-sufficient, marriage-ready female, and all those other "good" labels, and although we have one child together, after 8 years, marriage still hasn't happened. I'm not asking or begging for it, but it would be nice. A white wedding.

So, I have recently decided to move on to greener pastures (not just because of the commitment phobia, but there were other issues too). I'm with/was with the wrong person, and it is hell. But, I like being in partnerships.
Doesn't marriage and commitment make healthier and longer living?



[edit on 2-7-2007 by Soraia]

If you hover in indecision and wont commit then you're dishonouring that person.

Well said SG.Really...This describes it perfectly. I too think that if you have been in an relationship and you find the other person fit to share all your special and not so special moments then you should not keep postponing/avoiding marriage. This indecision is actually an insult to the other partner.

AryanWatch that comes from hard won experience. I have sweated blood and tears to learn this, but as a youngster I would not be told and thought mistakenly that I could pick and choose. That I could test the waters without getting my feet wet.

Soraia's decision is not wrong either. When you've made the commitment and the other person has not, then leaving them is the only rational choice.

Soraia it is not enough to be flatmates. Two people must have a chemistry called love too. I know the courage it takes to walk away. May I ask you one thing...?

Please don't be bitter. If he loves your child then please don't deny that relationship. If you cling to resentment, then you shackle your own misery to that person even after you've left him. Set him free with good wishes because when you do that the person you're really setting free is yourself.

In the USA at least, getting married has nothing to do with love or religion ("uniting in the presence of God" or Whoever). Technically, it is a legal contract to unite a couple under law & financial issues.

For example, I could just hop right down to my local City Hall, grab the right set of paperwork, invent my own religion while filling it out, then [Badda-bing!] I could perform legal marriages. For example, when I was in the Navy, I met a guy who proved that it was this easy in order to settle a bet: He is the Chief Pastor of the Church of the Immacualte '57 Chevy. Yes, I saw the official paperwork with my own eyes.

He never tried to gather a congregation or preach any kind of sermon; He did it to settle a bet. But that does also entitle him to perform legal marriages!

So why do you gals think that so many guys are "afraid of commitment?" It's the legal commitment that's so scary...There are many guys willing to commit to long-term emotional bonds without making a legally binding contract out of it, so keep on looking gals!

[edit on 3-7-2007 by MidnightDStroyer]

Having the courage to stand by a woman is part of being a man.

If you lack the courage then you may aswell be a gigolo, preening your pretty feathers.

Originally posted by sy.gunson
Having the courage to stand by a woman is part of being a man.
If you lack the courage then you may aswell be a gigolo, preening your pretty feathers.

For some guys, that's true, but I did point out that there are different types of commitment. The differences are based upon differing values; emotional, financial & legal. It's very possible for a couple to commit to each other emotionally & finincially without the need to make the commitment legal as well.

I don't know where I could research to find the actual numbers, but I'm pretty certain that there's a lot of couples who manage to live together & be commited to each other without having the legal document to prove their devotion.

Then there's the 'ol "Common Law Marriage," but if I'm not mistaken it varies from State to State. Still, in all cases it'd be wise to bone up on the laws.

[edit on 3-7-2007 by MidnightDStroyer]