Bush reasons for new immigration laws

ATTENTION NEW MEXI-RICAN GOP VOTERS! PADRE BUSH ANNOUNCES NEW "SOMBRERO LOOPHOLE" IN HOMELAND SECURITY FOR MILLIONS OF LAW-BREAKING FOREIGNERS
Statement by the President

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. Please stop pruning for a moment and be seated. I'm here today to announce a surprising new policy on immigration. As you know, I've spent the past 28 months relentlessly beating the drums of terror, terrorists, and terrorization, insisting that our Anglo-Saxon nation will never be safe unless we beef up border security and hunt down illegal aliens like the mangy stray terror dogs they are. Well today, I am proud to not totally crack up when announcing that now I think we just oughta let any old foreigner who sneaks into America not only stay, but snatch up the few jobs remaining under my Deficit Spending Miracle economy that millions of unemployed who are stupid enough to follow the rules would give their right arm for.

(Gasps.)

Yes, I know this comes as a shock to many of my most ardent supporters, whose xenophobic love I have cultivated with more care than one of those self-loathing Log Cabin Republicans waxes around his little speedo bulge. Well let me tell you � it came as a shock to me, too. A couple months back, Karl Rove comes schlumping into my office, smelling as he does of the Ponderosa buffet and Aqua Velva, and drops a little info bomb on me. He says never mind all that TV talk about people loving me, that he thinks this 2004 election is gonna be tighter than prom night pussy. Says we need every vote we can get if we actually want to win this time, and so we'd better start doing some serious pandering � even going so far as to aggressively court the unthinkable. So I says, "You don't mean 'n-word's, do you?" And he's all, "No, you moronic putz, spicks!"

And so there you have it, illegal aliens are free to stick around and do whatever. Now mainly that means old Poncho Villa can scrub major corporate toilet for pennies a week. But if you're a terror-doer in a Muslamian sleeper cell, well just consider this a little late Christmas present from yours truly!

Now I know that many of the low-class whitey xenophobes who make up my sheet-wearing base are gonna get miffed about this. Truth is, the mail's already pouring in. But I'm not worried. I figure if there's anyone on whose face I can take a warm, wet, sloppy dump, it's those flag-waving, FOX-watching crackers who've spent the last three years screeching that I'm God on Earth. Cause it ain't like that angry crowd is gonna fire off a few rounds in joy over the idea of voting for Howie Dean.

whitehouse.org...

Now, it all makes sense!

[Edited on 8-1-2004 by Colonel]

What? Nobody thinks a dose of the truth ain't funny?

and hunt down illegal aliens like the mangy stray terror dogs they are.

geezus man...i really hope this is a joke because the respect i had for you is dwindling[although im sure you dont care if you have my respect] but that is just wrong..regardless of whether or not you think they should be here..i know you wouldnt say that to thier face

Sheesh! Its from a joke website! Maybe you should go to it and see!


And no, you're right. I really don't care for your respect at all.

Bush also could of done it to get rid of them! He is giving the temporary work visas from what I heard. That means they'll need to reapply again in a couple of years or they are out. And since they came out and registered, their cover is blown and uncle sam knows where to get em'...

by McGotti
and hunt down illegal aliens like the mangy stray terror dogs they are.
geezus man...i really hope this is a joke because the respect i had for you is dwindling

Jeez, I had to ask this in a lot of threads but does satire not exist in America or something? Can't you tell this is satire from the very first sentence?!? The mind boggles.

Ya I guess I should have read the link first...I didnt know you simply pasted all that directly from that web-site...its just that what you posted seems very similar to the style you use to attack people on a daily basis..regardless.

[Edited on 9-1-2004 by McGotti]

I think it's funny. It's also so very, very obvious Bush is doing all this for his own #ing political gain. He has no real interest in providing "jobs" all he wants is to get relected. This is the # that pisses me off and everyone else in the world.

That means they'll need to reapply again in a couple of years or they are out. And since they came out and registered, their cover is blown and uncle sam knows where to get em'...

Oh yah I'm sure that the illegal aliens would stay in one spot to be captured. And of course the government is going to go after every single one of them too. Hey problem is solved.