Your view on young marriage?

Opps more one than two...

My first marriage was at 24; 2nd dumbest thing I ever did; The 1st dumbest thing I ever did was getting remarried at 30. Then another 4 yrs of absolute hell.

I have now been living with the same woman for over 20 years and someday we may get married but we don't want to rush into anything until we get to know each other a little better.



[edit on 17-6-2007 by whaaa]

I believe in love, and the easter bunny, tooth fairie, santa, and the sand man...well I do believe that love is the most important lesson we have to learn. Young love is awsome and it is never wrong to love.

Originally posted by nisurastar
What is your view on couples getting married young? Are young unions doomed to die or do you think love conquers all?

Love conquers all, but it does take some dedication and time. I was 21 and my wife was 18 when we were married. We've been married almost 15 years now and I couldn't be happier.

The best advice I could give you is to still be yourself and don't smother your spouse or try to change them. If you're unsure think "How would I treat them if we were still dating?" That's usually the best answer. Of course it's work sometimes but the best things in life require effort. If you both give it your all I'm sure you'll still be in love years from now.

Originally posted by dbates

Love conquers all, but it does take some dedication and time. I was 21 and my wife was 18 when we were married. We've been married almost 15 years now and I couldn't be happier.

The best advice I could give you is to still be yourself and don't smother your spouse or try to change them. If you're unsure think "How would I treat them if we were still dating?" That's usually the best answer. Of course it's work sometimes but the best things in life require effort. If you both give it your all I'm sure you'll still be in love years from now.

Oh, thats great. Congratulations! LOL I think Im guilty of smothering sometimes. Im so cuddly, I always want to hold hands, kiss, and all that....sometimes he says "Ok Dan, your smothering me. You need to back off, jeez!" Hahaha....

you give me lots of hope, its good to hear from a successful couple

Originally posted by antar
A very good friend of mine had been married for many years and I asked her how they do it? She said that over the years the relationship took on different levels and different needs. Some times they were like brother and sister, and sometimes mothers or fathers. At other times they were just friends. There are times as the years go past where sexuality is not there, and then one day unexpectedly Wham! There it is again. They never questioned where they were they simply accepted all of the rolls that each one felt at a given stage. They are both successful therapists and artists. A gorgeous couple.

wonderful reply, I think this book will be giving similar information
Its called the Seven stages of marriage.
www.marriagedoctor.com...

I would say that divorce after childeren is a bad deal for children.
I also think that some education like your doing is gonna go a long way of understanding these things, because no one teaches or explains these things and look at the divorce rate. What ever divorce is doing for the parents its not good for the children.

Also of course the Man are from Mars *Testosterone*
Women are from Venus *Estrogen*
thats always present and variable in everyone but still a force to be reckened with....LOL

PS your hubby should be glad you want to be affectionate in public but I think upbringing may make many feel uncomfortable in this respect, so ideas of morality in public are also to be factored in as well as morality behind closed doors.
No Jekell and Hydes allowed, thats the basic thing.

God Bless you and your hubby and your seven stages


[edit on 19-6-2007 by junglelord]

Originally posted by junglelord

Also of course the Man are from Mars *Testosterone*
Women are from Venus *Estrogen*
thats always present and variable in everyone but still a force to be reckened with....LOL

PS your hubby should be glad you want to be affectionate in public but I think upbringing may make many feel uncomfortable in this respect, so ideas of morality in public are also to be factored in as well as morality behind closed doors.
No Jekell and Hydes allowed, thats the basic thing.

God Bless you and your hubby and your seven stages


[edit on 19-6-2007 by junglelord]

Haha, I wish it was in public. Heres the thing, now that were married he shys away from my affection. He used to be very affectionate. Now the man wont even kiss me without me puckering those lips myself! Explain that men folk. :shk: I mean really. A kiss from me is not all that unpleasant! jeez...

[edit on 19-6-2007 by nisurastar]

Originally posted by nisurastar
Explain that men folk. :shk: I mean really. A kiss from me is not all that unpleasant! jeez...

Ummm, stupid?

Anyway, DBates gave the best advice. I tend to think due to lack of life experience, most young marraiges don't work out. Many people are very guilty about trying to mold their spouse to an image in their head as well. They're eventually upset when the images don't match and build up a resentment.

It takes work and dedication.

Young romances can work, though are less likely. My parents got together as teens. Decades later, still going strong.

Younger, less experienced couples are less likely to remain, as stated by everyone else. It's a matter of dedication. There needs to be communication, and understanding. What gets you are the little things. The more you sweep under the rug and don't confront, the larger the problems become.

When it degrades to the point of wanting to hurt the person with what you say/do, it's about dead there. I don't mean, being angry over an argument and saying you hate them. I mean, having a prolonged desire to see them upset.

Many of younger generations do not have the dedication or the will to persevere. Many give up diets, workout programs, etc. But they stay together in relationships, or jobs, because they feel they have to.

The more sincere, and understanding you are, the greater your level of communication, the higher the quality your time with that person will be. When you stop talking, and start holding on to little things to jab a person with, you're becoming bitter, and hopefully one of you takes a step back and tries to stop problems before they develop. Understanding, and forgiveness are key.

But what do I know? I'm a fool hermit.

Originally posted by nisurastar
Haha, I wish it was in public. Heres the thing, now that were married he shys away from my affection. He used to be very affectionate. Now the man wont even kiss me without me puckering those lips myself! Explain that men folk. :shk: I mean really. A kiss from me is not all that unpleasant! jeez...

You need to tell your hubby pucker up or else


My second last girlfriend demanded constant flirtation, dancing in the isle of food stores late at night...just wanted romance. We dated five years and she loved me. Not many guys are into that. For some strange unknown reason I do not understand myself, most guys stop the huggy kissy thing in public real soon...
whats up with that men?

Most people feel uncomfortable just because you kiss let alone hold the door for a girl...of course thats up state new york and I am canadian and old fashioned...

In Quebec everyone kisses...culture has big role. In Ontario they are much less touchy feelly. Weird. I see very different people culturally from upper new york state, then ontario, then quebec and its mainly about public affection in many ways. Interesting.

Teach your hubby some french....
Do Lady Marmalde for Him



[edit on 19-6-2007 by junglelord]

ROTFL! Lady marmalade indeed! Just like the music video. Ill dress up in some scanty sexy undies and do a little dance! whoo whoo! cant stop me now! Kiss me you fool...
LOL

DOOH, I forgot, you tell him he wants Lady Marmalde at home, hes got to be Antonio Bandaris in public.

All that means is more kisses then you could ask for.

More then a Fair Trade off, especially if he knows whats good for him

Seven Stages there may be tell him the Kiss are non negotiable.

:shk:

Originally posted by Lysergic
I'm like a bird, man. A birds gotta be free, You can't cage no bird man!

ayyep i still stand on that.

I DONT NEED NO STINKING PAPER!

Well look, "free bird", if you're going to get out of your cage, I'm afraid we must insist you stay on the paper!.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Basically, it's when things start to get really humdrum. It's easy to fall into a rut.

The Seven-Year Itch

Experts observe that this phase is often characterized by feelings of restlessness and unhappiness over the state of your union. "Over time, people can find themselves drifting further and further apart and communicating less," says Nick Stinnett, Ph.D., professor of marriage and family studies at the University of Alabama.

www.lifetimetv.com...

And, from experience, it's a quite real phenomenon. It's the reason that it is wise to work on communication even when things are going well, otherwise bad habits creep in and the 7 year itch ends up being a prime reason for separation.

wow that is true
some times i feel that way there are times my wife and i argue over nothing and we realized we are bored with each other, so now we take trips together talk more but it comes back from time to time. lol i think we can work it out......