How come it is so awkward being a atheist?

To begin I am a atheist, kinda. I just believe in my own little stuff and not really a organized religion.


But here is my problem: I am in high school and at the beginning of each school year religion comes up in the conversation when meeting a new person, and I just don't know how to answer.


They ask "catholic or christian?" I dont want to tell them atheist it just feels wrong, I feel pressured into saying only one of those two choices presented, it'd be easier if they asked catholic, christian, or atheist? but that never happens.

I am a pretty shy person but when this discussion comes up I am stumped and usually just agree with them but then that just digs me into a deeper whole when they ask what church? I usually just deflect and get onto other topics, but it's really bugging me. How come not believing in god to god believers is so odd, but nonbelievers are ok with believers. I've told some of my friends what I believe in and they just question me like "oh you think we came from bubbles" blah blah and trying to prove god, but I have no problems with them.



Any input on anything appreciated.

Originally posted by racerzeke
They ask "catholic or christian?"

Do they really? If so, you can be sure the person asking isn't a Catholic, since they're Christians too. Why not just say "no opinion" or "who cares" or "I'm not interested in religion, I don't discuss it." The other thing you could say is, "I'm not sure, what are you?" Turn it around. Then pick your friends accordingly.

BTW, the older you get, the less frequently you'll get this question. It's really pretty irrelevant.

Just say your parents don't go to church. How could they fault you for somthing that your family does not participate in. If you are a good person, belief in god is not needed anyway as you will be content on your own. Some people just need that hope that what they do in this life is somehow worth it, or that they will be rewarded in some childish way by a supposed supreme being for good behavior. I personaly belive in God, but not the white bearded judeo-christian human looking god. I simply look to the sky and stars and take a deep breath. I live with my god, no false house of christ needed.

I have never had anyone ask what my religion is. I really dont know how I could even ask that from anyone without being extremely close with them or have known them for a long time. I consider something like that a very personal thing. That being said I cant say I have ever been to USA so maybe things are different over there.

As a basic rule you are usually better of with the truth. If it really bothers you maybe you should just "come clean"? I mean if they start to question your reasoning behind it you can just tell them to try and convert you if they really are so much into their own religions and go from there. Atleast you will end up with some conversation and you dont have to feel uncomfortable around them later if you end up being good friends.

That is ofcourse only my take on it and you shouldnt do or say anything you dont feel comfortable with.

[edit on 11/6/07 by Gonjo]

Originally posted by racerzeke
To begin I am a atheist, kinda. I just believe in my own little stuff and not really a organized religion.

well.. that might make you a deist... do you believe in any sort of supernatureal being?

But here is my problem: I am in high school and at the beginning of each school year religion comes up in the conversation when meeting a new person, and I just don't know how to answer.

easy answer: is it any of your business?

They ask "catholic or christian?" I dont want to tell them atheist it just feels wrong, I feel pressured into saying only one of those two choices presented, it'd be easier if they asked catholic, christian, or atheist? but that never happens.

deflect, say: "what about muslims, hindus, agnostics, buddhists, and atheists?" and add something about catholicism being a sect of christianity.

Any input on anything appreciated.

well, first
how long have you been an atheist?
have you read any books such as the god delusion, the end of faith, letter to a christian nation, god is not great, etc? if not, i'd suggest reading those, it helps.

i kind of know where you are. i went through a phase where i'd answer with buddhist when i was asked about my religion because i didn't want to go through the bother of answering all the typical questions atheists get asked. then i decided to just be true to myself and it felt good.

i'd also recomend watching this:
youtube.com...

if you want more of a resource on dealing with being an atheist in a country dominated by theists i'm always here. so are a few other members of the ats community.

The reason it is awkward being an atheist is because most people are still believing in Santa Claus in the sky building heaven, and once you confess you don't share their views they become frightened and start preaching about their so called religion.

I know how you feel, most of the people closest to me are religious, my husband and my mother still buy the big lie. My husband and I both avoid the subject since he is aware of my feelings, for my Mom I lie and pretend I'm glory bound, LOL just to keep her from worrying and spending all of her time praying for my soul.

It shouldn't be awkward no matter what you believe. Just tell them the truth. You are, who you are, and they should feel no different towards you.
Most of my friends don't believe in God but they are still great to be with.
Cheers
jon.

Hmm, you must live somewhere where religion is a really big deal. I'm rarely asked this question unless the topic has already come into conversation, somehow. Certainly, no one ever asks me this when I first meet them.

Outside of the people I associate with in my own faith, I'd say the majority of people I know are agnostic; they believe there is some sort of God, but don't follow any religion or practice any kind of spiritual belief.

My guess as to why you feel awkward with this question is that, from what I read of your post, you find it rather difficult to describe what you believe in. Perhaps if you sat down and simply organized your thoughts on the matter, and came up with even just a sentence or two that accurately sums up your personal beliefs, it wouldn't be so awkward.

Racerzeke you should bewilder them by answering their question with one of your own.

(I'm being mischievous here)...


Tell them that religions just create rules for social conformity and have nothing to do with God.

Tell them that religion has nothing to do with God or true spirituality and ask them what they think of that ?

[edit on 11-6-2007 by sy.gunson]

I simply could not imagine living somewhere where religion was actually an issue. In Australia, no one gives a flying hoot what other people do. I could seriously say I worshiped Satan or Allah was My Saviour and no one would really care. I find it odd that religion plays such a major role in peoples lives that even other kids are compelled to ask you what religion you follow. It'd sure be an interesting experience.
When asked, just start speaking French or something. Throw 'em right off the scent.

I'm with watch_the_rocks, i cant remember any one ever asking me what my religion is here in australia.

If i were you i'd just tell them the truth. They may not like it but at least you can feel comfortable knowing your being true to yourself. You actually sound like you may be more agnostic in your beliefs than having a definate atheistic belief.
Maybe you could say that your still developing your beliefs and when you've reached a conclusion you'll get back to them!
Good luck.

Originally posted by racerzeke
To begin I am a atheist, kinda. I just believe in my own little stuff and not really a organized religion.

What is that "own little stuff" you speak of? I really am interested if you want to expand.

I am very spiritual myself but I dont think church is necessary for closeness with God.

I am in high school and at the beginning of each school year religion comes up in the conversation when meeting a new person, and I just don't know how to answer.

They ask "catholic or christian?" I dont want to tell them atheist it just feels wrong, I feel pressured into saying only one of those two choices presented.

Why does saying Atheist feel wrong to you?

Don't feel pressured. Trust me, no matter what belief you choose there is Alot of others that feel the same way.

But if you want to go with the current trend then just say "agnostic" :p

Move to Europe The USA will soon become the Christian version of Iran (Religion wise)

It's the whole labelling problem again. Say "Christian" and you’re labelled; say "atheist" and you’re labelled; say "I have no beliefs" and you’re labelled. It's a catch 22 situation, there's no getting out of it.

Choose your labels wisely...

Originally posted by thebox
Choose your labels wisely...

I'm very OT. I wanted to say I like that statement thebox, and I like your signature

Im from Denmark, and here most of the population is atheists. Formally, we are a christian country (Don't ask me if were catolics or prothestants, I really don't know since I don't care) and im an atheist.

Only once have I been asked if I was a christian, on which I answered no. This was to a ~7 year old muslim. He then asked me why? He thought that all danes were christian. I answered to him that I didn't believe in god, and to this he was very baffled. He could'nt see how I could'nt believe in god, and he actually began to sound like he despised me. (Yes, a 7 year old!)

Very strange.. And It kinda made me being proud of being a atheist, since it to me seemed as if religious people can be too clouded in their religion...

Originally posted by Thain Esh Kelch
Im from Denmark, and here most of the population is atheists. Formally, we are a christian country (Don't ask me if were catolics or prothestants, I really don't know since I don't care) and im an atheist.

Only once have I been asked if I was a christian, on which I answered no. This was to a ~7 year old muslim. He then asked me why? He thought that all danes were christian. I answered to him that I didn't believe in god, and to this he was very baffled. He could'nt see how I could'nt believe in god, and he actually began to sound like he despised me. (Yes, a 7 year old!)

Very strange.. And It kinda made me being proud of being a atheist, since it to me seemed as if religious people can be too clouded in their religion...

It's not religion I despise, it's the fact that most are unwilling to consider the mere *possibility* that they may be wrong.

I suppose it's closed-mindedness that I despise.

Originally posted by racerzeke
I've told some of my friends what I believe in and they just question me like "oh you think we came from bubbles" blah blah and trying to prove god, but I have no problems with them.

When someone tries to force their views on others, it usually means that they have subconscious doubts about their own beliefs.

When they try to convince others of their beliefs, it's a subconscious defense mechanism that reflects the need to make another person believe their views but in reality they are just trying to convince them selves by making others believe the same thing they do.

So simply, a person will be more convinced of his own doubted beliefs if he can convince other people of that belief.

Kinda like when an alcoholic tells you that he is not an alcoholic because he wants you to confirm his subconsciously doubted statement.

It's very possible that your friend could easily be rid of his religious beliefs.

A person who is religious but doesn't preach about it, is a person who will most likely not be compatible with changing his beliefs.

Hope that could help you understand why some people have the tendency to force their views onto others.

Originally posted by Thain Esh Kelch
He could'nt see how I could'nt believe in god, and he actually began to sound like he despised me. (Yes, a 7 year old!)

Very strange.. And It kinda made me being proud of being a atheist, since it to me seemed as if religious people can be too clouded in their religion...

Amen to that!

Originally posted by racerzeke



But here is my problem: I am in high school and at the beginning of each school year religion comes up in the conversation when meeting a new person, and I just don't know how to answer

they are in a clique,
and they're just letting you define just what/who your peer group will be.

in those instances when i was backed against a wall,
with that kind of question i would say, 'I'm mostly a 'spiritual' person'
that leaves it up to them to figure out what you mean,
if they still press you,
say that you find good points in different religions & faiths...
but it's a really deep subject, and would need lotsa time to explain...
instead of a 30 second hallway response


believe me, they will feel dumbstruck, because you give them the impression that your not just another shallow person,
spouting off a sound-byte or platitude about your religion/spirituality