Working At Area 51!!!!!!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'............ I was watchin' War Of The Worlds on my really fancy 14" black & white Zenith TV. It was a bunch of aliens usin' fancy death rays to knock down buildin's and stuff. Those aliens thought they were so cool. I hate aliens.
So I says to myself, Self? Is there anything good about those stinkin' aliens?
Hmmmmmmmmm............... Nothin' comin' to mind........ Those aliens are pretty sneaky. Makin' crop circles and stuff in cornfields and stuff. Everyone knows we need that corn for makin' ethanol! Like it's a big alien conspiracy to stop us from makin' that ethanol, and everybody better wake up! I bet those aliens are laughin' at us! Stupid aliens!

Hmmmmmm........... so I did some more thinkin'. And I says to myself, Self? I wonder how many of those sneaky aliens they have in that area 51? Area 51. I wonder what it would be like to work there? Hmmmmmm...... I wonder. It might be pretty cool. Yeah. I bet it would be cool! Like you can go and laugh at those sneaky aliens while their in their cages. And like you could poke those sneaky aliens with sticks and shoot spitballs at them and stuff! I bet those sneaky aliens would be so surprised! Man! And like you get to wear really cool fancy black sunglasses all the time and stuff! And like you get to be real mysterious, and do really cool spy stuff and all!
Wait! Like you could go out and buy the biggest, fanciest, most expensive stuff in the world. You'd never have to pay any bills because those big snooty credit companies wouldn't know where to send the bills! Man! I want to work at area 51!
I gotta get my resume together!

Hey Lombozo this is ChiKeyMonKey (feeling very sleepy, going, going, gone zz zz zz zzzzz).

Lombozo we know who you are and if you bring yourself and your crazy ideas within 100 kilometers of (The astrofarm) AKA Area 51, we will administer you with a swift kick to the knackers and send you home in a pink open-topped beattle with the cast of queer eye, you will also be dressed as a sailor (Jean Paul Gautier style) you will never live that down, don't mess with the aliens cos the aliens don't mess.

(Yawwwwwwwn) and that's all I have to say about that (mildly amused applause).

Okay buddy, you have officially lost it.So sad. You had such a brilliant future in comedy.How do you tell a joke to an alien?Please don't apply at the freak show.We will all miss you.

I don't remember writing any of that.

Sorry for the one liner, I'm in complete shock.

Originally posted by AccessDenied

How do you tell a joke to an alien?

This is a typical grey alien joke (Direct from Area 51):


What do you call an ugly female from Zeta Reticuli?

A greyhound!

Hey John! HAHA funny. Or is it? Guess it would depend on whether you were an alien or not.

[edit on 9-6-2007 by AccessDenied]