An unborn child (not abortion)

Me and my wife have two beautifull daughters, and we love them both to death! But our first try ended up in an ectopic pregnancy.

I try to not ever think about the first pregnancy, but it does bother me! What would have that child have been like? But I wouldn't have my first born either!!?? I cant imagine life without my little Emily, but what if the first one came out ok?? their would be no Emily!!! Has anyone here had the same dillema?

Its just a mind boggler!!

I have. In a way. Between my daughter and my year old son, I was pregnant with a child that was not viable. It was very ill and it was making me very ill. It had chromosomal abnormalities and a heart defect, probably severe Down Syndrome. I lost 15 pounds in the first 9 weeks, and was vomiting blood occasionally.

I made the hard decision to terminate the pregnancy. I was nearly 40 at the time and thought it was my last chance.

But then, by accident (don't ask -- I'm not bogging down this thread with a complaint), my son was conceived. He's a gem of a child, always happy even now when he's growing his first four molars all at once. Sweet, loving, and scary smart.

But I still wonder what the child in the middle would have been like.

Though I don't really believe in the migration of souls (anymore) I sometimes comfort myself by pretending that my son is so happy because I gave him a chance to come back in a better body than the one he originally had.

Potential lost is a very melancholy subject for me.

I don't believe in abortion but the way you explained it. I'm sure it was very difficult. I think of it this way their might have been a slim chance the baby would have survived. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes I forget the fact that mothers have difficult births and complications during pregnancy. Sometimes things happen that can't be prevented. Its natures way.

MM if you didn't get that abortion who know what would have happened. With you loosing weight and being really sick you might not been strong enough when your term ended. You did what you had to do.

Thank you, Leyla. I really appreciate the fact that you could say that to me despite your obviously strong beliefs about the subject.

For myself, I believe that we've overcome natural selection to a large degree through application of medical science. I also believe that sometimes science can be used to prolong a situation that nature would have ended, if given the opportunity. I think it's our responsibility as thinking beings that actually circumvented nature to make the hard choices ourselves.

All I can think of is, if I'd had this kid, I'd be raising a severely disabled child alone (one that I was told might not survive being born), without help from the father, and taking more attention from my daughter than would be fair.

Well if I didn't see this post my thoughts would remain the same. Seeing this situation taught me to be open. I still believe abortion shouldn't be used for a quick way out of a problem but when it comes to the mothers life too then something has to be done.

If you didn't get that abortion I perhaps would not be typing this response to you. And that would be sad.:shk:

You have voted Leyla for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have two more votes this month.

Had to be done.

I'm really impressed. It's not often that a secular non-theist like me and a Christian can come to a realistic meeting of the minds on this subject.

I'm really touched, Leyla. Thank you for this wonderful gift.

Aww MM you didn't have to do that. I think everyone should be given a chance. Because its not our duty to judge people.