Could you be celibate?

oops...double post. Nothing to see.

[edit on 12-5-2007 by souls]

Originally posted by souls
I see in here that some may be choosing celibacy for their failures in their past relationships. In my opinion celibacy cannot be all that good. Let me ask those who are celibate. Do you masturbate?

Sex is a primitive instinct that is not that easy to ignore. It has been said that women that do not have sex after sometime, or that have unsatisfactory sex, become, in a sense, sexually dormant. I'm not sure if it is the same for men. As for my self, I would not choose celibacy by choice.

The answer to your question is, yes I do.

I will say this that I am not sure that being celibate, and I can speak from experience, is necessarily psychologically healthy. You don't experience many of the things that make a person whole when you are celibate in my honest opinion.

I choose to be celibate because I have some psychological issues that inhibits my degree of confidence. I am very insecure and don't really feel comfortable taking the initiative to approach women. I mean, that's on me.

I have noticed that the longer I go without sexual relations, the less I even desire it. So, I suppose that men may go sexually dormant as well after a period of time.

[edit on 12-5-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

um no..hahaha unfortunately lately it seems like i have been..sad thing..not by choice booo. but whatevs.

Ok, your celibacy is not by choice, so in order to satisfy your instincts masturbation is necessary, and to a certain degree you accomplish satisfaction, which in turn releases stress, and gives you that sense of well being. Well, that is why I think celibacy is not always good, even by choice. Attraction of a woman is a tricky thing. Believe it or not, one of the things that contribute to your lack of confidence is the way marketing has conditioned the minds of both males and females. I can elaborate more if youd like.

As for those who are celibate (by choice). Please answer my question above.

[edit on 12-5-2007 by souls]

What are you talking about?



Oh well it is BTS.

In all honesty, I laugh when people treat celibacy as quitting smoking. Really...is it that hard for people? I'm a virgin, and I can easily avoid having sex.

Then again, I am also unattractive and overweight...so maybe it just comes naturally. I am also not promiscuous at all. In a sense, I am somewhat asexual. I find girls hot but I never feel like having err sex.

I'm really a weird person.

Originally posted by Kacen
In all honesty, I laugh when people treat celibacy as quitting smoking. Really...is it that hard for people? I'm a virgin, and I can easily avoid having sex.

You're just not getting the logic. To quit smoking you have to start.

Originally posted by SteveR
What are you talking about?

Oh well it is BTS.

Me? If it is, then i meant the question on the previous page. If you are celibate by choice, do you still masturbate?

Originally posted by Kacen
In all honesty, I laugh when people treat celibacy as quitting smoking. Really...is it that hard for people? I'm a virgin, and I can easily avoid having sex.

Then again, I am also unattractive and overweight...so maybe it just comes naturally. I am also not promiscuous at all. In a sense, I am somewhat asexual. I find girls hot but I never feel like having err sex.

I'm really a weird person.

When you are a virgin it is easy to be celibate because you have yet to experience the feelings and emotions associated with sex. Being "unattractive" and "overweight" only has so much impact on your success in relationships. Your celibacy is not by choice.

First: To nerbot (prior page). I'm not at all confused about the meaning of celibate. The result of sexual relations, at least for males, is almost always orgasm. As such, the word definition can easily be extrapolated from 'sexual relations' to 'having an orgasm.'

For example, priests (not counting the ones who cheat with altar boys, etc.) are considered to be celibate. This concept includes (whether or not if it is reality) not inducing orgasm by themselves. Dreams are OK.

Thanks, MMF, for explaining the joke. I thought it was so obvious that no one could possibly miss it.

Re: marriage status - I'll PM you MMF.

Occam

hahah thee masturbation..well i guess i do find someway to release myself but in all honesty i have dreams and i wake up "gratified" i know sounds gross but it's true.. but every now and then its OKAY to have some self love haha

I am also unattractive and overweight..

awww dude don't be so hard on yourself

Well I must say, I'm grateful for everyone's responses here. I never imagined there would be so much positive feedback to this thread.

from "souls":
I see in here that some may be choosing celibacy for their failures in their past relationships.

You may be right there, however, for me, it wasn't a concious choice made because of the failures, but a slow evolution following a time of extremely deep emotional stress. Staring into the abyss night after night and asking things like "why me?" and "where do I belong?". There was far more to it than just sex.

Thankfully, I got through those dark times after much "incubation" and self healing. I chose life rather than suicide and had found a clarity in my life I never imagined I could experience.

With this new clarity, I knew that if I had another physical relationship, I would be a more complete person with eyes wide open, not some troubled soul looking for affection at any opportunity.

I have decided to leave myself open, knowing that lightening can strike, but open for the right person. And being more "me" if that was to happen. (I didn't give up completely you see). With that on the back-burner,(six years now) I am free to get on with living my life, without the normal physical ego controlling my encounters.

Some people may call this selfish or egotistycal, but for me, it is essential. I could not survive another trip into that abyss.

So...in response to the comment by "souls", my celibacy was the result of success rather that failure. A necessary evil!

btw: the best book I ever, ever, ever read "In the Dark Places of Wisdom"Here

Quote from "In the Dark Places of Wisdom", Peter Kingsley:

We want healing from illness, but it's through illness that we grow and are healed of our complacency. We're afraid of loss, and yet it's through what we lose that we're able to find what nothing can take away from us.We run from sadness and depression. But if we really face our sadness we find it speaks with the voice of our deepest longing; and if we face it a little longer we find that it teaches us the way to attain what we long for. And what is it we long for? That's what this story is about...........................................

[edit on 12-5-2007 by nerbot]

Originally posted by Kacen
In all honesty, I laugh when people treat celibacy as quitting smoking. Really...is it that hard for people? I'm a virgin, and I can easily avoid having sex.

Then again, I am also unattractive and overweight...so maybe it just comes naturally. I am also not promiscuous at all. In a sense, I am somewhat asexual. I find girls hot but I never feel like having err sex.

I'm really a weird person.

haha

Does being celibate mean you can't whack off? Because the first time I whacked off I felt like it was god's gift haha. I'm the opposite of u Kacen if i find hot girls i turn into a rapist. But only in my mind . As for whacking off i beat my dick like it owns me money

from rrahim1

Does being celibate mean you can't whack off? Because the first time I whacked off I felt like it was god's gift haha. I'm the opposite of u Kacen if i find hot girls i turn into a rapist. But only in my mind . As for whacking off i beat my dick like it owns me money

you sound like an expert at "whacking off" :bash:

Don't waste our time please

I take it your answer to the relevant question is "no"

Hmm

There are everyday rants, questions and answers on physical relationships and the pros, cons, biases and opinions associated with them, but I would like to know how many of you have chosen the single life and for what reasons?

Religous, spiritual, social and physical aspects may all be involved and also, what is the ratio of males to females?

What led you to your situation and how permenant do you see it?

Did your celibacy come about from choice or neccessity and do you feel it is a weakness or a strength?

Any sensible comments!

I think celibacy is wrong. If you were born a human then you were born a sexual creature and you should fulfill your animal desires. Some people choose to be single because they may have some kind of problem, and others to be closer to god like priests. But I don't think we were meant to live celibate. Infact some religion's I think Islam say that you actually should strive to have a big family of ur own.

from rrahim1

I think celibacy is wrong. If you were born a human then you were born a sexual creature and you should fulfill your animal desires. Some people choose to be single because they may have some kind of problem, and others to be closer to god like priests. But I don't think we were meant to live celibate. Infact some religion's I think Islam say that you actually should strive to have a big family of ur own.

What you have said may be fine in your world or an ideal world, but we are smart enough and have evolved beyond pure "animal" instincts as individuals to be able to make these choices without bowing to typical "peer-pressures" from those who cannot accept our ability to make personal choices for ourselves. Personal choices for whatever reason. Social, religious, physical etc.

Ironic that you just started a thread, ranting about the lack of freedoms in your country.

Do you feel the same about homosexuals, bi-sexuals, transvestites, sex-change etc, etc?

Originally posted by TheBadge
hahah thee masturbation..well i guess i do find someway to release myself but in all honesty i have dreams and i wake up "gratified" i know sounds gross but it's true.. but every now and then its OKAY to have some self love haha

Wouldn't it really suck if you had to be celibate in your dream world too? I don't think anyone could make it them. Thank goodness for dreams, fantasies, and masturbation, because I think the world would completely collapse if celibacy meant no sex, sex dreams, sex thoughts, sex fantasies, and no masturbation.

And it doesn't sound gross badge, just completely normal. Enjoy!

It's not upto you, rrahim, to tell me celibacy is wrong.

Clear? Good. Thanks.