Fixin' My Couch And Stuff

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'.............
What a beautiful day. I think I'mgonna have a nice cold beer. Hey what's that? There's a hole in my couch. My dog Yabaastad chewed a hole in my couch! So I yell "Get over here Yabaastad!" So he comes walkin' over lookin' all sad and stuff. "Look what you did! Bad dog! Get outside Yabaastad!" So he goes runnin' outside.
Man, look at that hole in my couch. And it's right where I sit and do thinkin' and stuff........ What was I doin'? Oh yeah I was goin' to get a nice cold beer. Ahhhhh, that's so refreshin' and stuff.
Huh? What's that? It's Yabastaad scratchin' at the back door - he ripped the screen! "You're a bad dog! Go lay down Yabaastad!" Why does my neighbor always look at me like that when I talk to my dog? Nosy neighbor!

Ahhh, this beer is tasty. Hmmmmmmm............ Now how am I gonna fix the hole in my thinkin' couch? I'm all out of duct tape...... What's that in the back of the drawer? Hey! It's an industrial sized container of Super Glue! Yeah! This is my lucky day. I'm gonna go to that couch and do some fancy gluin' and fixin' and stuff! May as well turn on the TV. Hey what's that? The Playboy channel? Oh, they have a weekend for free trial. Hmmmmm, let's see what it's all about.
Dammit! I just spilled beer all over my pants. Oh man! Well it's nice and warm out, so I'll just take those pants off. Hmmmm, my drawers are kinda wet too...... Well there's no one here but me so what the heck.
Ahhh, it feels so back to nature and stuff, like everything is free flowin' and stuff. I could get used to this! I wonder if there are any nudist colonies around? Hmmmmm........... Wait! I gotta fix my thinkin' couch first. Let me put my beer can on the armrest so I don't spill any more.

So I go over and start gluin'. Yep, this is some good thinkin'! Hmmmm, there's a tear along back. Let me put some glue on that. Man! This couch is gonna be better than new! Look how shiny that glue is. I like shiny things. Mmmmmm shiny.......... You know? Maybe Yabaastad did me a favor. "Hey Yabaastad! You're lucky!" Suddenly Yabaastad comes crashin' through the screen. "Whoa! Stop Yabaastad!" He comes crashin' into me and stuff and I crash onto the couch. The glue goes spillin' and flyin' and stuff. "That's it Yabaastad! You're in so much trouble!" Huh? WTF! Jeez My butt is glued to the couch! My back is glued to the couch too! "That's it Yabaastad! You're damn lucky I have some beer right here to calm me down." So I grab that beer, and take a really big gulp. Ahhhhh, that tastes so good. Huh? Oh come on, my hand is stuck to the beer can. You know, at least I can watch this Playboy channel while I figure out what to do and stuff.
WAIT! I don't want my "little guy" down there gettin' glued like my butt cheeks - better move it! Quick!
Are you kiddin' me! My hand is stuck to my "little guy"!

What to do? Huh? What's that? The front door is opening! It's my wife!
"Honey, I'm home. And I brought my mother and my sisters over."

Oh man this is so not good and stuff.

Hey Mods!
Sorry! I meant to put this in Jokes, Puns, and Pranks.
If I could move it I would!
Sorry!

Where ever you put this I laughed till I . That was Hilarious! Thanks for the good HAHA.

Note to self: super glue is not to be used for furniture repair at any time.

Insane!

Can I ask you a serious question?

Do you write any stories or anything other than what you write on your PC.
The amount of stuff I have read from you is baffeling, everything has this twist of humour that I have never seen anywhere, (not even movies and i'm a huge movie buff).

You really are one truely unique character Lombozo...

Originally posted by Chukkles
Insane!

Can I ask you a serious question?

Do you write any stories or anything other than what you write on your PC.
The amount of stuff I have read from you is baffeling, everything has this twist of humour that I have never seen anywhere, (not even movies and i'm a huge movie buff).

You really are one truely unique character Lombozo...

Chukkles my friend!
For what it's worth, I'm afraid of clowns!
When I write, I just sit at the keyboard and literally make it up as I go along. I never have an "idea" to adhere to.
I would love the opportunity to write for Comedy Central, SNL, Mad TV, or even write my own book. I just don't know how to proceed.
Any ideas?

I would just send some of these great stories their way.

Great stuff, hilarious stuff.

Originally posted by enjoies05
I would just send some of these great stories their way.

Great stuff, hilarious stuff.

I've done a little research - a very little, but it seems that if I send them anything unsolicited it becomes their property. I guess I need an agent?
Hey is anybody out there an agent?

Hey! I got in touch with comedy central, and they told me to get an agent, so I was correct! Now I'm lookin' for an agent and stuff. Who knows, maybe I'll actually follow that up.

Haha - Just seen this one!

Lombozo I think that can could have been the one missing from your six pack!!

That whole glue on the todger thing is a nightmare: I hate it when that happens.

OMG Bozo....LMAO

I spit coffee all over my screen when I read the last couple of sentences. You are something else

Thanks for the laugh

Originally posted by jensouth31
OMG Bozo....LMAO

I spit coffee all over my screen when I read the last couple of sentences. You are something else

Thanks for the laugh

Thank you for the kind words. Glad I could make you smile!

Originally posted by lombozo
Who knows, maybe I'll actually follow that up.

That's great. Look foward to turning on the tv and seeing the Lombozo Show - Starring Lombozo.


Just don't go all Hollywood on us though.

Originally posted by lombozo
Glad I could make you smile!

You did! I could almost visualize that scenario
Funny stuff....and if it were so...you'd have to do some quick thinking to get yourself outta that one

Originally posted by enjoies05

Originally posted by lombozo
Who knows, maybe I'll actually follow that up.

That's great. Look foward to turning on the tv and seeing the Lombozo Show - Starring Lombozo.


Just don't go all Hollywood on us though.

I already have my really cool, fancy Hollywood sunglasses picked out and stuff.
I'm even doin' some good preparin' thinkin' and stuff! Yeah! Like I'm figurin' out what I should get addicted to, so I can go into rehab and stuff.

Originally posted by lombozo

I'm even doin' some good preparin' thinkin' and stuff! Yeah! Like I'm figurin' out what I should get addicted to, so I can go into rehab and stuff.

Looks like you have a good start with the beer, the glue, and the little guy....not to mention the playboy channel

Superglue and Duct Tape - my two favorite pastimes.

Another gem of literary genius!

*tips hat and raises glass*

TO TRADITIONS!

reply to post by GENERAL EYES



Mmmmmmm.................duct tape and super glue......mmmmmmmmmmmm
Just be careful in the dark with that super glue. The containers for KY and Super Glue are very similar.