Man Sentenced For Impregnating 10-Year-Old

I have mostly let it go. I tell him gas cost too much to go there and to be honest for the upsets I get it does cost too much to go there.

The hardest part is to stand up for self and to know how to do so as well.

Also one as I said is so use to abuse that at times one abuses oneself as well by not going forward because of the fear.

I am glad I am one who did not go the wild way if you know what I mean but I would loved to have had my own home and a hubby.

I still hope for that for the future.

I don't have that much hate. He was afraid once I would have him arrested.

What was the point of doing that. He has not done it because he got religion even though he did not change a lot personality wise.

What point of going for revenge? I see none.

I only speak out about it in the last few years.

It is hard when people around me tell me to forgive and take the high road to help him out. I did as much as I could but I can't do it any more. That is where the Christian viewpoint gets me messed up.

Somethings to me are unforgivable but one does not have to bad in kind.

Ok I see how to use the quote here now.

I agree. That is why it was done because he wanted what he wanted and did what he wanted.

He told me he read it in the book and that is why he did it.

Just an excuse.

I was about 10 years old and if I had not screamed and fought going alone to a different state with him this girl probably would have been me. Instead my mom made me go but with my brother tagged along. He slept on the couch and my father had me in the bed.

That was the beginning of the end. It was horrible my mom screaming at me where did I sleep and his threats for me not to tell.

What a way to have it come out.

That was the part that I think that did the most damage. My mom would not talk to me for weeks after I broke by her threats and told.

That is what did it.

Barb

Originally posted by Shar

ThePieMan
You did nothing wrong at all. They were both selfish and weak people who could only control those weaker then themselves

Very well said.

FancyLady,

Being a Christian does not mean that you have to let people walk all over you and tell them that its OK. We have the right to stand up for ourselves espceially when confronted with evil. Jesus himself overturned tables and drove merchants out of the temple with a whip because they we sinning against God. Your dad sinned against you and God by doing what he did. If he's never asked your forgiveness, you have no reason to forgive him. It sounds like he wants to pretend he doesn't remember instead of owning up to what he has done wrong. Even if he asked and you did forgive him, doesn't mean you have to go around him. And if he is truly sorry for what he's done, he would understand that and would not expect you to come around him. It still sounds to me like he is only concerned with himself just as always.

If you ask me I would say that God gave up on him long ago. As it says in Romans 1:28-32 when people reject God completely he will give them over to a "reprobate mind" and he sounds like a reprobate to me.

That is good to know about being one. I am not one but I like some of the tenents.

He said sorry to me once but I did not buy it. He may or may not be but that is not my problem.

My problem is I want to leave this frozen north to a warmer place and I am stuck mentally.

I don't want to forgive him and I am not going to. That does not mean I will go around condemning as well.

If I find anyone has done this to a kid I will not ever talk to them again. I will not be around them either.

I think those who preach forgiveness to me really don't get it. One told me she gets it and forgave and she is all fine and happy now. Now if that was true why did she yell at me for me being myself when I spoke of what I think. She has not handled it but believes she has.

Another I know is nice but helps others even when it hurts herself. They think I should help. They don't get it how it hurt me to help. it does feel I am doing wrong by not helping.

I loved my mom as she was a type of victim as well in her way. She did not know how to handle it so she handle it the way she knew how. Screaming.

So I quit helping. Took me a long time to do that.

I am waiting to work with the type of counseling I think that will help. I know for sure the one that they use in Psyche does not help. All they want is to throw more drugs at one.

Anyhow I just get mad at me because I can't go where I want to and every so often I have a meltdown. I had two of them recently. I get paranoid.

By the way I paint and I am told I am decent at it. That is what I like to do but in this small box I live in it is hard to do. I love to walk year around outside and I can't here. Hard to paint as well. I have a low income so it is tough no matter what I do but that is how the world is getting now most are having a hard time.

Originally posted by lonewolf37
FancyLady,

Being a Christian does not mean that you have to let people walk all over you and tell them that its OK. We have the right to stand up for ourselves espceially when confronted with evil. Jesus himself overturned tables and drove merchants out of the temple with a whip because they we sinning against God. Your dad sinned against you and God by doing what he did. If he's never asked your forgiveness, you have no reason to forgive him. It sounds like he wants to pretend he doesn't remember instead of owning up to what he has done wrong. Even if he asked and you did forgive him, doesn't mean you have to go around him. And if he is truly sorry for what he's done, he would understand that and would not expect you to come around him. It still sounds to me like he is only concerned with himself just as always.

If you ask me I would say that God gave up on him long ago. As it says in Romans 1:28-32 when people reject God completely he will give them over to a "reprobate mind" and he sounds like a reprobate to me.

FancyLady,

I don't know who is trying to force you into forgiving someone who has done such wrong to you. Look, if you want to forgive then forgive him and forget about it. It's done and over with. However, if you don't want forgive him then don't. Just stop worry over him.


Matthew 18:6 kjv
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


Ephesians 6
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.


Did he cause you to wrath? UM yes. Do you think God is going to blame you if you don't want to go around him or talk to him. NO>God know's the heart and know's what you are going through because of him. You will not get in trouble with God.

Colossians 3
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Again, your dad cause this anger upon you.

You really need to let this past go. Your not suppose to hold on to things this long. It's not good for you.


[edit on 29-4-2007 by Shar]

Hi I needed some of this. I was in a forum in my home town and talking 911 truth and the Christians there were no so nice.

I can tell you this. I buried it for years. I did not know I had a problem. I knew I was scared of changing things and was dependent. I sure did what I could to break it but I failed so I went the way I am. My next goal is to find the courage to move.

I agree with you and your type of Christian I like. There are some I don't like one bit at all. Makes me not to be one.

A friend of mine is two religions. Goes to a Christian church but follows another philosophy. He is the one I am going to work with in the type of counseling they have.

Yes, I quit talking to that friend. She is no longer a speaking friend. The other has accepted I did what I did. So not bad there.

See when this happens to a kid the world goes in to confusion and one does not know how one should be. I am learning and I do know a lot. I can see the truth of what is. But when it comes to people and abuse it is hard to judge what to do.

I really don't want to talk to him and that makes me feel guilty. But I am not going to worry over it. I do talk to a counselor but they never get to the point.

For one thing for sure I don't want sympathy. I hate it. Understanding is different and I posted here because I want to say I understand what that girl will go through. She may pretend it never happened like I did. I even forgot some. I don't recall the age I really was. I know it was about ten to eleven years old to twelve.

All I know is I want to leave here and this is my comfort zone and I stay to it. My counselor says move here and it makes me mad for that means I fail again and stay here. It is a trap.

These guys give kids fear and unworthiness to a kid. I think Fear is the worst.

I don't even know what I could have been.

Thanks and hugs to you.

Originally posted by Shar
FancyLady,

I don't know who is trying to force you into forgiving someone who has done such wrong to you. Look, if you want to forgive then forgive him and forget about it. It's done and over with. However, if you don't want forgive him then don't. Just stop worry over him.


Matthew 18:6 kjv
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


Ephesians 6
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.


Did he cause you to wrath? UM yes. Do you think God's is going to blame you if you don't want to go around him or talk to him. NO>God know's the heart and know's what you are going through because of Him. You will not get in trouble with God.

Colossians 3
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Again, your dad cause this anger upon you.

You really need to let this past go. Your not suppose to hold on to things this long. It's not good for you.

FancyLady,

Thanks and hugs to you.

your welcome. hugs back at you.

FancyLady,
By the way I paint and I am told I am decent at it.

It sounds like you are the artistic type. Many people say it helps them emotionally to express their feelings through writing (maybe in your case painting). Even if no one ever sees it, you can get some of your hostilities out through your gift. If you are good, and you don't mind sharing your work, maybe this can help you with your financial; problems too.

Thanks. If you can look up TLeah the picture Rolands Retreat. Or Roland's Retreat. I forget which it is. You should find on Flicker you will see some of my work. I keep forgetting to keep the link to it.

What I like is driving and driving and driving. But the price of gas prevents that these days.

I just wanted to say I know how that little girl will be and what is the proper thought of someone who does the abusing..

I sell one once in a while. I just sent my first painting to Europe. An on line friend wanted it. I think the pic is on Flickr of it as well.

I will be ok given time. If it was warm out all the time I would be even better.

Boy I guess you guys got the point I hate being cold and living where it snows.

I have a friend in Florida that I met on the net and I hope to go there this winter. I might find the courage to move there as well.

I am going to paint the opposite. There is a show called the secret and they recommend paint what you want to happen. I rather do that.

By the way my name is Barb.

Barb

Originally posted by lonewolf37

FancyLady,
By the way I paint and I am told I am decent at it.

It sounds like you are the artistic type. Many people say it helps them emotionally to express their feelings through writing (maybe in your case painting). Even if no one ever sees it, you can get some of your hostilities out through your gift. If you are good, and you don't mind sharing your work, maybe this can help you with your financial; problems too.

[edit on 29-4-2007 by FancyLady]

Thanks for sharing your real name with us. I hope you find what you're looking for, finally grow your wings and start to fly. Abuse is awful. Coming from the people who are supposed to protect and love you, it is worse than awful, it's a betrayal of what they are supposed to represent.

One of the things that's helped me to start moving on from the domestic violence I experienced with my husband is a DV survivor's support group. Just being in a room with women it's happened to can help so much. You don't have to explain how you feel -- they already know. And nobody will deny your feelings or make you feel you have to forgive.

You can find a local one (I hope - you say you're rural, right?) by calling a local battered women's shelter or the national hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Just because it happened to you years ago does not mean you will not be welcome at the groups. It might be just the thing to help you overcome the last of your pain and learn to function again.

I wish you the best.

I tried one a few years ago and I could not stand it.

I don't want to do the victim thing and these girls were doing that. Blamed all guys for what one did.

OH yeah I forgot I had other people try it with me as well and most were relatives or married to them. I guess it is very common in this world.

I try to use logic and I know all guys are not bad but that does not get me past being alone either.

To me they were too much victim and blaming all which is not logical.

Anyhow I go to a counselor and I go this week.

They just never go far enough and push drugs for the answers and not get to the source of the problem. I don't think they can but there are other ways and I am going to work with one in time.

I think I may post once in a while on other threads here. I registered before but could not recall the password nor how I registered so I started over.

I am sorry for your abuse. I lived though screaming fights with my mom and dad as well. He tried once to hit her he never tried again. She was something when mad and she was mad a lot.

She has passed and I don't miss the screaming but I do miss her. She was basically good person lost in the world as I have been.

Anyhow maybe it is best she is gone the way the world is going. NUTS for sure. It scares me how it is.

Barb

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Thanks for sharing your real name with us. I hope you find what you're looking for, finally grow your wings and start to fly. Abuse is awful. Coming from the people who are supposed to protect and love you, it is worse than awful, it's a betrayal of what they are supposed to represent.

One of the things that's helped me to start moving on from the domestic violence I experienced with my husband is a DV survivor's support group. Just being in a room with women it's happened to can help so much. You don't have to explain how you feel -- they already know. And nobody will deny your feelings or make you feel you have to forgive.

You can find a local one (I hope - you say you're rural, right?) by calling a local battered women's shelter or the national hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Just because it happened to you years ago does not mean you will not be welcome at the groups. It might be just the thing to help you overcome the last of your pain and learn to function again.

I wish you the best.

Hi Barb, just to let you know you have friends here.

When I first saw this thread it made me as angry as everyone else I guess, and then I began to read your story. You have a lot of strength to talk about it here.

I began writing my sad story in detail here, but then decided that this space should be used not for me but for you and others like the little girl in question so I will sum up my story briefly.

My father had an affair with my first girlfriend and ended up marrying her and having a child. They also divorced. It destroyed our family and messed me up considerably for many, many years. I have not spoken to him since he anounced his intentions to be with her all those years ago.

I do not feel sympathy or hate for him now but only pity. Pity that his deluded ego stopped him from ever admitting to doing anything wrong. To this day I believe he is unable to feel any responsibility for the pain and suffering he caused.

The years that followed were dificult to say the least and there were times I just wanted to pack it all in and end the pain. Many failed relationships later I gave up trying to find the love, happiness and the sense of belonging I wished for from any outside source. I began a relationship with me and a search for my inner self. They were also painful times, but now, I am 42, celibate (although that is just the way it is at the moment) and living in France (I am English) with an old farmhouse and 3 cats. The clarity of my life is something I never imagined I would ever experience.

I could tell so much more but I am here to say this:

It is not your mothers fault she yelled, she was angry and had to release her anger and energy at someone.

It is not your fathers fault he acted as he did and does, he was selfish, stupid and cannot face his guilt.

But most important, it is not your fault. You were the innocent victim of other peoples weaknesses, and for you to offer forgiveness will serve no purpose other that to prolong a painful memory for you and reduce any responsibility your father must take for his actions.

It is impossible for people to change, only to grow.

You deserve the best shot at life that it can possibly give you from this moment on.

Paint to your hearts content.
Paint your walls orange and bring the sun to you.
No more brick walls eh :bnghd:
Above all, be patient and try to let things happen naturally.
See the good.
Shun the bad.

Please, feel free to U2U me anytime...you are never alone at ATS

I see you get it.

I like what you say on forgiveness. It is how I feel and see it myself. I got all tangled up with one person kept telling I would not heal unless I forgive. I doubt that to a great deal. I just can release my upset and I like that idea better.

I am much like you but I wish I had a farm and I have one cat. In Fact her name is Fancy.

I thank you.

I find there is a lot of nice people in the world and a lot of nuts, sheeple and sleeping people.

Myself I woke up the hard way.

I a few years back liked a guy as well myself. He is in reality a good guy but not for me as he was much younger. Anyhow he lied to me to protect me and caused damage when he was told by others to never talk to me again. I really liked this person. So add that to the times my mom would not talk to me and the sense of unreality I was in at the time. I was in a cult and I fell the hard way through this episode. I am no longer in that group but I do follow the teachings which by the way the original group is altering so it is not effective any more and used for the cult's control. So I hang with the independents and they are a good bunch for the most part.

But I am alone for the most part here and it makes my life easier and harder as you would know.

I think I started on this track as well that you spoke of

I also hate my name. I and my sister was named after his girlfriends who he ran around with. Who knows if I have any more brothers or sisters.

I don't blame my mom but she did the worst damage to me by screaming at me to tell and he had threatened to kill me if I did. Both threatened me to the point my mom's threat was worse in my mind at the time. I think I was about 12 or thereabouts. I can't even remember the age I was and I did forget some of it. I do recall some now though that I had forgotten.

So it went on for a few years. I realize now it was only because I started to fight back that he did not progress farther. I mean that day he forced me to come to this state with him where he was staying with my brother.

I am sure now he would have raped me. Thinking of that now scares me. Upsetting so I will leave it in the past and yes it is his fault for he made those choice to do what he did so he is responsible.

All I know I want to go and live where it is warm year around. I got all the stuff I need to do that and yet I sit here scared to do it.

So I will take trips as I can afford them.

Barb

i will say something that has been on my mind for a while now, people who sexualy abuse younger people should die. simple no trial no jail time just. dead, i dont believe in a second chance for those kind of crimes, anyone sick enough to do that kind of pure wrong stuff shouldn't live

I don't think one crime can fix another crime.

Some may be reformed by getting to live the life of the abused. I don't know.

Cures for them is best but they don't have a cure for them that the current system uses. Drugs are not the answer.

Right now I know there can be a treatment but it is not accepted and made fun of and frankly some don't want cured and they probably will never be cured till they face what they have done.

So they should be locked up. I happen to think there is more than one life and if you kill them you set them free to pick up a new body and start over again.

Better to know where they are.

I understand how you feel though and I don't know what to say.

Barb

I keep thinking I can't be shocked by what happens in the world.. but then I tell myself that the world may've changed and then read stuff like this.

Had two friends who's mothers chose their boyfriends/stepfathers over their abused daughters. One girl caught genital warts from her stepfather when she was 9. She believed her.. but called her a slut for seducing her husband. :shk: The other girl [was about 7-8yo] had photos taken [used in evidence].. the man was charged an thrown in jail. He got charged for molesting other children as well. The mother forgave/believed him and waited for him to get out.. her kids were taken off her. Apparently they are still 'in love' and my friend hasn't spoken to her mother in 20 years. I'm not sure it's a syndrome.. they are infatuated with these criminals and I believe their daughters become 'sexual rivals' in their minds. From what my friends told me the mothers thought they weren't 'young enough' for their men anymore.. it's warped. Perhaps it's easier for some women to blame their kids by putting it into a 'other woman' context.. saves them accepting responsibilty for their own part in the abuse. This peticular mother would have known her kid was pregnant.. not sure why she'd deny it. Maybe she had other priorities.

I still believe most mothers would protect their kids rather than leave them to the wolves though.

I know if I ever find out anyone's been messing with either of my kids in a sexual way, they better get their passports and head for Mexico. Because come hell or high water I'm going to do some cutting.

MajorMalfunction,

I too would kill the person who ever sexually abuse my kid.

No-one is allowed to hurt my children. I don't hurt them, my husband don't hurt them, and I don't expect any one else to hurt them either!!!

i dont have children, im only seventeen, but i have two younger sisters, so i kinda understand what ur all saying i belive in the death penalty for some people, and any way he was charged and put in jail the inmates will kill him any way so no matter what either his life is ruined or he will die