Paranoid Schizophrenia.....I need advice

I first began having symptoms about 2 years ago...I started seeing things, that scared me, and I lost touch with reality, at the time I was married, a great marriage to say the least, but when I took sick my husband didn't understand what was happening to me and chose to just ignore me, and let me go through my own hell alone. I saw a photo on the wall turn into the red sea and part like in the 10 commandments, I saw elvis appear on my chair, and he was gold. and no I don't do acid. I saw howard Hughes walt disney and leonardo davicnci appear in my wooden floor, I saw angels and demons and let me tell you I was frightened . I did not know what was wrong with me, and thought god was sending me a message of some kind. I flt evil inside me and began to scream uncontollably until I felt the evil go I even smelled the evil. This went on for 6 weeks and I was at the end of my rope, and every time I asked my husband to gplease help me, something is wrong he would just call me retarded..that's when our marriage started to fall apart. Then in unison my kids started talking to me the same way, retard, nut and would tell me to leavebecause I was a bother to them. It brroke my heart, I knew there was something wrong with me but I had no way to a hospital so I called an ambulance..they put me in the mental ward for 8 days, and told my I had a physcotic event caused from not taking my medication cold turkey...at the time I was taking 500 pills a month, and I quit them cold turkey....so they sent me home, and it happened again.. I landed back in the hospital a few weeks later with the same symptoms, and did 3 more times until they told me I was PS.......now I get a needle every 2 weeks and am doing great, thank god, but now that my husband knows what is wrong with me he wants me back, only thing is they all treate me like a piece of dirt when I was sick and had to go through it alone, he would lock me in the room, unplug the cable, and call me names all day...which the kids picked up on.and started treating me the same way....I had to leave and go to a transition house, and now I have my own place, and am happy even though I miss my husband I am torn about what to do..do you think I should go back with him? I need some advice on this...thanks

My gosh what a terrible set of events,

I feel for you and I'm mad that your husband treated you like this,

Im so sorry i really don't think you should be with a man like that,
YOU have got to where you are today YOU took the steps to try and help your self,

This man does not deserve you,

Any person who can kick you when you are down is not worth it,

I know you love him, I know you cant turn the feelings off, I myself have been in a bad relationship and no matter what my Ex did i still loved him,

But you got to sometimes do whats best for you, and he is not it,

If you even think of being with him then its got to be very slow, he would have to prove a lot,

But I'm sorry he just sounds like a waste, he allowed your own children to call you names??? he does not respect you,

Sorry for ranting, I just know what its like to be called names and treated like dirt by a man,

You are worth so much more than that, you have come so far on your own,

there's a guy out there who's going to treat you right, love you and respect you,

Ask your husband Why he treated you like that? Ask him all the questions he would want to avoid,


Anyhows If you need to talk I'm here for you,
And i support any choice you make, Its your life and you have to live it,
We only get 1 so try and make it the best

I agree with Asala. Iam sorry you had to go through that especially with your children.That just breaks my heart.IMHO your ex has proven that he cannot stand by you and does not have your best interests at heart.Don't settle for him wait for the one who really cares for you and would never treat you so harshly.BTW I hope your children treat you better in the future.Maybe if they read some literature on what you went through?I also know what it's like to be treated badly by a spouse and I join Asala in extending an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.Whatever you need.

I don't think you should take him back either, because if the going gets rough again....you know the rest.

Interesting set of events you went through. I used to work as an Activities Director in an institution for mental patients some years back. When they were taken off all their meds, we called it a drug holiday, and yes...some strange things can happen. I know that sometimes Doctor will simply label you with a Schizophrenic title to get the Insurance Co. to pick up the tab. Once labled, that title sticks with you. I'm not saying you don't have it, but my God what kind of pills were you coming off of? I know they were prescribed pills.........

I know a lady that has been labeled as such, I'm no Dr, but I've been around all these illnesses and I think she's Bipolar, not Schizophrenic.

Normally, I'm very reluctant to offer any advice in a situation like this one, because I can never have all the facts. And in such cases, I'm inclined to just throw out some moral support and say "hang in there".

But instead, I'm going to throw out .02 [against my better judgement], and please understand I'm not trying to do anything other than offer a different perspective, which in this case, may or may not help. I hope it helps.

Is it possible that during the period of time you were experiencing the "loss of touch with reality" that you were misinterpreting your family's reactions and behaviors? The first thing that strikes me is that if you're seeing a golden Elvis etc., maybe you weren't accurately judging your family's behavior toward you.

Maybe they're heartbroken about what you went through, too, and now that you're back on track (so to speak) there can be some reevaluation of what you went through, and whatever fence mending needs to be done can take place?

I'd just hate to see you give up on them if it was the illness affecting your perception about their treatment of you.

Just a thought.

Always good to get a man's opinion What you said could certainly be true, and maybe her "perception" of how they acted toward her was not right on target at the time? Any feed back OP? It's a tough call

When I would ask "Do you see that?" to my husband he would say you're ######## retarded...not honey you're sick you need to go to the hospital,,,,no I did not take or misinterpre them wrong...when your own kids call you a reatarded mother******** and tell you to get in your room, I don't know how else to intrpre that but as being cold. my youngest son even went as far as to say "You are not my mother".....that broke my heart in two...they would tell me to get in the bedroom and to stay there., maybe they were afraid of what I was going through and they responded that way...and as far as what pills I was taking I was taking 300 lectopam a month mine and my husbands prescription too,,plus 100 gravol a moth plus 100 elavil a month and I quit them all cold turkey after taking them since I was 18. and I am off of them now.

My husband was on my back cause of aall the pills I was taking so I quit taking them,,,they said that's what caused it, but I don't know what to believe...it is a chemical imbalance in the brain and it was horrible to go through

All of that stuff is hard to misinterpret isn't it? Words are far more hurtful than physical pain. It's no wonder you were having some rough time getting all that medicine out of your system. I'm glad you did though
So how do you feel about your kids now? I'm a mother, and I would think that would be devastating?

I hope everything works out for you....Really

Assuming there was no misunderstanding, or condition-induced perceptive distortion, my recommendation would be for a total family session with some sort of mutually agreeable mediator/therapist/counselor. Could be a clergyman or doctor, or someone referred by the doctors you've seen.

You want to salvage this situation or I don't think you'd have asked the question. I say, give it a shot so everyone has a chance to express what they need to. And to assure that happens, I'm highly recommending a neutral 3rd party.

I envision a purging of emotion, apologies all around, and a reconciliation.

A family's worth fighting for, until it isn't. I think you'd agree it hasn't yet reached that point.

I'm an expert at Psychology and I will say nothing about you're situation. Just like YeahRight said, you never can get enough information from a person on a forum.

Most of the doctors out there are quick to prescribe medication that don't really help. They are just giving them to people because they are making a profit off them.

I will say that if I was living with you I could give you honest and accurate advice about your situation. Too many doctors say that they are experienced and instally know what your problem is. They are all wrong.

Many don't realize that they were better off before they started taking the drugs, but their doctor has them convinced the drugs are helping.

I had this friend that was female. She had the biggest heart and had the same OCD mentality as you do. Something that noone realizes is that everyone suffers from OCD. Some just choose to let it get to them.

I like your post and think you are a great person. F what ever anyone thinks about the way you think.

Now, I'm going to tell you one thing that I do know about you and you're not going to like it, but sorry I'm just trying to help.

Being on ATS and reading the stuff people have to say about conspiracies is not helping solve your problem. You need to start doing more ignoring and less thinking about your problems.

I have a problem that It bothers me that so many people are stupid in this world we live in. But, I have to remind myself that their stupidity is not an insult to me and I need to laugh it off. I could think the other way and take it personally and want to kill the bastard. Thank god I don't, but I do get carried away with over analysing everyones actions.

I think this is want you have problems with also. You are very smart and you just don't realize it and can't control your analitical abilities.


If anyone ever says they think you are crazy. You respond with this,

"Crazy Like A Fox!"

It shows that you do have control of your emotion and you take your problem light heartedly!

Look at their face after saying that. You will get great satisfation afterwards. Pretty soon you will be trying to get everyone thinking you are crazy just like Albert Einstein did just so you can say that.

Control over your emotions that's the key to your success. Remember it is always esier and funner to control other peoples emotions than it is to control your own. When you think more about other peoples emotions than your emotions will change in time by themselves.

You re not going to here that from some paid shrink, because they don't want people getting better they want to continue billing for time.

Good Luck

All of the people I know diagnosed with schizophrenia are in the church, Christians. My strongest advice is be very careful of Christians. They have many tools specifically focused on schizophrenics.

You are not possessed by demons. You do not need protection from demons. Demons do not exist. They are a fabrication of anomalies in your neurology.

Columbus

Originally posted by truthseeker1011
I was taking 300 lectopam a month mine and my husbands prescription too,,plus 100 gravol a moth plus 100 elavil a month and I quit them all cold turkey after taking them since I was 18. and I am off of them now.

Lectopam seems to be the problem here. 300 a month, that is 10 a day. And that is a lot.

You were definitely suffering from severe benzodiazepine withdrawal. Stopping that amount of that class of drugs suddenly can only be expected to cause hallucinations, intense agitation, and other nasty withdrawal symptoms. Such drugs should never be stopped cold-turkey, but tapered off gradually.

As far as your husband, he acted horribly and ignorantly. But that is a bad position to be put in and he probably didn't understand what you were going through. If I were you, I might give it another chance, but I certainly don't know your entire history. But I do know that the use of drugs and withdrawal from drugs can be very hard for others to understand and sometimes they do and say stupid things out of ignorance.


[edit on 4/13/2007 by djohnsto77]

I am just curious but is your ex a doctor or pharmacist?Who was he to tell you to stop your medication if it was prescribed by a doctor for you? I understand that you are off medication now.Do you feel better about yourself without the medication and without him in your life? Have you been happier? Look deep inside yourself for these answers. I hope you can reconcile with your children.Keep your chin up and keep smiling.

My theory of schizophrenia is that they actually see and hear things that the rest of us are not capable of seeing and hearing. They are in-tune, if you you will. However, I do understand how it can be quite frightening for someone and do not blame anyone who seeks help.

How old are you? How long were you abusing prescription drugs? It could be a drug induced psychotic fugue and not schizophrenia at all. Late onset schizophrenia is very rare. Were you abusing other drugs as well as the prescription ones.

I'm not aware of how permanent the damage from those drugs you were on are. But I once met a woman who had been addicted to valium for 20 years, she had been completely clean for 5 years and still couldn't string a sentence together.

The doctors told you the psychosis was a result of quiting all the drugs your were abusing. Why not find a doctor who will help you to get clean? You could resort to the lowest dose of risperadone possible to maintain the psychosis, it doesn't need to be taken daily, you can take as a low a dose as .25 milligrams and only when necessary. If you can find a doctor who will support you in discovering whether or not the abuse of the drugs in the first place caused the psychosis, you can, with medical support - cut out all the other drugs, one by one - in a proper and incremental way, and see what happens.

Once brain chemistry has been damaged by improper drug use, it can take 5 to 7 years to reassert a healthy brain chemistry. Also when habits, thinking, behavior is indulged in habitually, it creates an actual physical rut in the brain from the overused neural pathways. So you're swimming against the stream.

Your husband sounds like he has his own drug problems and will not be of much use to helping you over the hurdles you're facing, whether it's schizophrenia or not - you need to take care of yourself first, right now.

Your children are only children and not able to extend themselves in an abstract fashion. They simply don't understand and it's a very common reaction for children to get mad at parents for getting sick. Try to view their anger and frustration as an expression of their love for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't care.

Speak to a drug counselor, and don't do anything against doctors orders - like doubling and tripling up on dosage.

Prescription drug use is on the rise as the drugs of choice for recreational drug use among teenagers. The long-term damages and effects of psychiatric drugs make heroin pale in comparison.

There is a tendency as a result of the labels psychiatry in it's infancy has imposed on different psychological disorders to ascribe to them more accuracy than may be warranted.

In a culture in denial about the physiological basis of addiction with it's attendant disorders, what is common knowledge in a secret society - that - Addiction is the Great Imitator, appearing as psychosis, schizophrenia, manic depression, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder - and any other number of labels - appears to escape the most educated of healers.

And said secret society has found a solution that requires no medication at all. It is even helpful to people who truly have secondary problems.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by clearwater]

Originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
My theory of schizophrenia is that they actually see and hear things that the rest of us are not capable of seeing and hearing. They are in-tune

Good point!

Originally posted by clearwater
How old are you? How long were you abusing prescription drugs? It could be a drug induced psychotic fugue and not schizophrenia at all. Late onset schizophrenia is very rare. Were you abusing other drugs as well as the prescription ones.

Someone here has a clue!

-----------------------------------------------------

I asked a few psychiatrist once if in their eight years of being educated, were they ever taught to take being psychic in consideration for those who are hearing voices. My answer is always, "that is absurd!"

I think it is very sad that we are conditioned by psychiatrist who have prescribing medication for profit to believe that psychic abilities does not exist.

Their training and schooling is all designed to make the educators money and condition the students in the best way to make a profit off this career.

They will not admit to what they are doing and I see it because I educated myself in the matter.

Edit Adedd:

I think it is sad to think of all the people that were psychic and commited suicide because of the drugs and crap that psychiatrist pumped in their heads.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by Modemizer]

Over the years, I have just about come to the conclusion that psychiatry and psychology are mony making racketts. Now, that is not to say that there are not some genuinely "sick" people out there. However, they have a "disorder" label for every personality quark in existence now.

I have been diagnosed with about three or four mental disorders. While I can see how someone could come to the conclusion that I am indeed "ill," its' funny that the BSM has labelled almost everything a "disorder."

Here is what I have been diagnosed with

Mild to moderate depression.

Social phobia disorder

Borderline personality disorder teetering on the edge of a schizoid personality disorder

Now, while I can certainly see many,many aspects of myself that fall into all of those categories. Particularly the borderline and schizoid personality disorders... Who is to actually say what anyone suffers from? I haven't been sent to a psychiatrist yet, but, if what my psychologist has labeled me with is indeed true, then I am certainly considered a "mad man" by the general consensus.

I have often wondered, "If my psychologist really believes that I suffer from all of these mental peroblems, which like I said, I can certainly see the borderline and schizoid personality disorder, then why didn't she send me to a psychiatrist?

[edit on 13-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Stoned Immaculate

I'll tell you this...
No eternal reward will forgive us now
For wasting the dawn.

Back in those days everything was simpler and more confused
One summer night, going to the pier
I ran into two young girls
The blonde one was called Freedom
The dark one, Enterprise
We talked and they told me this story
Now listen to this...
I'll tell you about Texas radio and the big beat
Soft driven, slow and mad
Like some new language
Reaching your head with the cold, sudden fury of a divine messenger
Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god
Wandering, wandering in hopeless night
Out here in the perimeter there are no stars

Out here we is stoned
Immaculate.

The Doors

And the last shall be first.

Originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
Over the years, I have just about come to the conclusion that psychiatry and psychology are mony making racketts. Now, that is not to say that there are not some genuinely "sick" people out there.

I fully agree. You can't say it's all bull but pretty close to it.


My diagnosis was....

Psychotic Serial Killer

This is jumping to conclusions because by definition of Serial you have to had killed more than three people and I have only killed two.

Ok, I'll shut up. I'm just kidding.

But the reason why I just said that is it makes me wonder how many people have be commited like John Nash that had no real mental dosorder in the first place. He wasn't diagnosed as a killer. I'm just saying!

There is another racket is the mental hospital system. If you know to much about the government or what ever they will try to make you commited and profit off you.

I'm my area they shut down the mental hospital because it was getting too crowded.

So I'm not worried of getting commited. Heee hee a hah a hoh a hah a hee hee!

Ok! I'm always trying to make people laugh. Sorry!

Edit: Corrected many typos!

[edit on 13-4-2007 by Modemizer]

Originally posted by Modemizer
. Heee hee a hah a hoh a hah a hee hee!

They're are coming to take you away!!