posted on Apr, 5 2007 @ 08:48 AM
Hello Seeker and as always ... thank you.
When I was about 8 or 9, my father took me up on the roof of a building he was working on. He had just finished installing the roofing material and
handed me a can of pitch-like substance, with instructions to daub it liberally over each of the many exposed bolt-heads used to hold the roofing
material in place. Several times during the instruction, he impressed upon me the importance of working with 'eyes front'. Under no circumstance,
he stressed, should I turn my back towards the edge of the roof. If I did, he said, I could well step backwards off the roof, which was three floors
high. He warned me that many men had plunged to their death in this way.
When he'd finished his talk, my father asked me if I fully understood his warning. I told him I did. At the time I did.
He left me alone on the roof and went back down the ladders. Immediately I set to work, eager to do a good job and please him.
It was hot up there and windy. The wind was blowing my hair into my eyes so without thinking, I turned to face the wind.
It was a skillion (almost flat) roof, so the work posed no real difficulty. I concentrated hard on daubing sufficient pitch on each bolt head, so the
roof wouldn't leak. There were dozens of bolts, in parallel rows, and I was working my way down the first row, bent over from the waist for most of
the time, concentrating on the task and daydreaming a bit too, I suppose.
After completing each bolt I stood up straight and scrutinised my work before moving backwards to the next bolt-head. This was my routine, all down
the bolt-line.
Then I felt a hand against my back.
Without thinking, I pushed backwards against the hand, because it was stopping me from stepping back fully in order to get to the next bolt in the
row.
The hand stayed firm however and would not let me move any further backwards.
I pushed against the hand again, not really thinking about it, so intent was I in getting the job done and pleasing my father.
Then I came fully awake from the day-dreamy preoccupied state I must have been in ------ and turned around to see who was behind me.
But there was no-one there. I was alone on the roof.
I was almost on the EDGE of the roof.
If the hand hadn't stopped me, I would have plunged backwards over the roof and down three floors to the rubble far below.
I can still remember the feeling of being alone up there, with the roof shining like silver in the sun and the wind singing in my ears.
For several moments, I expected my father's head to angrily appear over the far edge of the roof, screaming at me about not listening to his repeated
warning that I must NOT work with my back to the edge but must instead face the edge at all times.
Tick tock, tick tock. Just the sun and wind, everything peaceful. No father's angry face. I couldn't believe my luck. He hadn't seen.
After that, I made sure I worked forwards and not backwards.
Sometime later, my father climbed up the ladder to survey my work. He was happy with it. He said nothing about my near escape. It seemed he didn't
know.
I was so filled with relief about his not knowing. It wasn't until years later that the significance of the incident dawned on me.
Someone had put out their hand and saved me from death. Someone had been watching out for me. I had felt their hand.
And without thinking or even wondering who that someone was, I had impatiently pressed against that hand -- had tried to push it aside, so I could
finish the work.
But when I'd turned around, there had been no-one there. Just empty space.
It was a real hand. A firm but gentle hand. And even though he'd died some months before, that hand 'felt' like my grandfather's. Except he'd
died 12,000 miles from where I stood on that roof.
When something like that happens, it sweeps aside all the cynical (even your own) opinions about 'religion' and the meaning (or lack thereof) of
life and death.
I've become as cynical as anyone else. It's hard to avoid as life batters you about. Religion doesn't teach that deceased loved-ones can
intervene on our behalf. In fact, organised religion would very probably denounce my experience. And psychiatrists might claim it was my
subconscious which had calculated the length of the roof the moment I stepped onto it and had thus been aware I was reaching the edge and so triggered
nerves and sinews in simulation of a hand, in order to prevent my falling.
Quite often, this sort of 'explanation' is ridiculously convoluted -- a sort of educated denial of a reality many academics refuse to acknowledge.
I suspect their denial is caused by their reluctance to surrender 'control'. They need to feel 'in control' of their own lives and those of
others.
The person who has the experience, however, has no agendas; no preconceived theories. They just have the experience and are the richer (and often
wiser) for it.
What I felt was a hand. A seemingly flesh and blood hand. That it was invisible to my physical eyes made it no less effective. And that hand saved
me. Saved me in more ways than one, actually. It gave me assurance of my worth, made me feel cared for, and that's priceless.