Why do I constantly underestimate myself!!

I've got a rant, and it's about one of the people I hate the most:


myself.



I underestimate myself and everything I do.

For example, I'm in a band, and we came up with a nice jam. I'm solo guitar, and my friend is lead, so I come in halfway through the song do a solo, and the other times, I'm either playing along with the rhythm, or I'm not playing at all.

Whenever I hear everyone play, i think about how great they sound. So this time, I came in and ripped a solo. Everyone was staring at me with faces like "OMG", and I was like "What? I do this all the time!" So when we got done, I was like, "you guys sounded great," and everyone else was like "dude, you kick ass! Who taught you?" I told them I was self taught, and our drummer (who I have a crush on) said "boy, am I glad to have you!"

Whenever I play something on the guitar, or write a story or code a webpage, most of what I do , I throw away. What I do end up using, I think is mediocre, but everyone says that I'm amazing!

What is wrong with me that makes me do this to myself! After that day, I was actually so upset with my playing, that I contemplated leaving the band because I felt I would hold them back, even though everyone says I'm awesome.

I'm not doing this for attention or for people to give me pity or praise. This is honestly how I feel.

Why do I do this, and is there any way I can stop?


TheRanchMan

[edit on 4/3/2007 by TheRanchMan]

[edit on 4/3/2007 by TheRanchMan]

Ranch, that is something I have been plagued with all of my life. Where I am different is that when I see people "staring" at me, I automatically make the mental leap that either there is something wrong with me, or, I am doing something wrong. Insecurity, and that is what it stems from, is a disease. One that is not too easy to overcome either.

I don't do that, but no matter what people say to me, I just feel like I'm worthless, no matter how much praise I get.


And this regards anything I do: guitar, singing, writing, or anything.


What can I do about this?


TheRanchMan

Originally posted by TheRanchMan
I don't do that, but no matter what people say to me, I just feel like I'm worthless, no matter how much praise I get.

That's a classic sign of insecurity. I already know what you are going through. I have traveled that road all of my life.

thats couse of two things man
1 ur a nice guy and u dont wanna be a show off so others will like you
2 u think about the peoples opinion....and ur probably surrounded by people who underestimate u
so what to do....
start believing in ur self,build more confidence and stand up for your self become a little mean if u have to

I've also been told I have an overly high standard of quality.


Could that be true?


TheRanchMan

Originally posted by Unisol
become a little mean if u have to

this works tremendously..seriously

I used to do this all the time and it is a very hard habit to break.

This is going to sound silly, but you need to pretend that you think everything you do is the most amazing thing ever. Fake it till you make it or whatnot. If you do something and then think 'Man, that sucked', smack your inner voice upside the head and say 'Pffft. Whatever. I'm the best baby!'.

After a while, you'll start to believe your own hype.

I used to underestimate myself when it came time for exams. I would say, oh well if I don't get a good mark then I obviously didn't deserve one because I should know the stuff by now. I would set a low standard, so if I did end up getting a bad mark I wouldn't feel all that bad because, hey it was expected. But more often than not I would get a good mark, oh how good that felt when I was expecting a 60% and ended up getting an 85%