identity/personality disorders and my wife

how does one even begin to talk about this, except for me to humble myself and ask for it. my wife and i have finally discovered through intense
communication, and some very frightening disassociations that she has a personality disorder. we as the uninformed best figure she has a fractured personality. it even has names, and visible changes in my wife.

she had tried to tell me before, but no one ever in her life had the strength of character or the absolute love enough to try and figure out why she has mutable needs and mutable reactions to things...

last night i saw them clearly for the first time. some examples are she seems to revert to a needy child, then a demanding ambition driven "a-type" survivor personality who doesn't think much of men.

preceeding these changes for her are severe disorientation, panic attacks, and a seperation of self from the moment, like watching her life from the outside.

she is a survivor of abusive relationship after another, and was severly abused as a child. we believe her fractures first started at or around 5 years old. she is now 40 and has gone undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed.

i saw her, my wife the woman i married, last night for the first time in about 3 months. it was heartbraking, and i am crying a little even now. but these tears i think are more a sense of relief, because now i finally understand why i never knew what to expect from her, a loving wife, a demanding boss/mother type, or a scared little girl who hurts herself.

whatever wisdom or help this community can offer is appreciated beyond words.

-adhd

I can only offer that by being able to finally understand your wife, It'll make a big difference in dealing with the ups and downs. It might not be a bad idea to have her receive some counseling, therapy, etc. to be able to assist her in coping with her varied states of mind. I would try to stay away from pharmaceuticals/psychotropics though. Good luck.

I agree fully with jblaze. Especially about the meds.
You'll probably need a professional to help out, but try to find one that isn't a pill pusher.
There are a lot of herbs that can be used to help someone "de-stress", if you want to send me a U2U I'll send you a list.