Hello my fellow ATSers. Since I was old enough to comprehend the fact that humans will not live forever, I've been completely compelled by the idea
of the afterlife.
Ancient Societies believed in a form of an afterlife. The easiest one to reference, and for everyone to get a grasp of what I'm talking about, are
the Ancient Egyptians. Now what I'm trying to get at is the entire concept of what happens after death. The Egyptians believed that when you die,
you begin you're true life (or something along those lines, don't shoot me for being wrong haha). Basically, I'm saying that they believed that
when you die, you go somewhere. There we go finally got that sentence out, now on to my question
Ok, there are many different views on what happens when you die. When I was 6 or 7 I started to think that you start your own life over and re-live
your life again...BUT....you have some knowledge of mistakes you have made; in turn, getting a chance to right your wrongs. I'm not very sure on how
you would know when these events happend, but over the years I have pondered the idea more and more, and come to a possible theory (well my own
theory): your body will physically tell you. Say maybe those weird feelings you get when you think you're in a bad place or with the wrong people.
I'll give you an example to start this off. A little over a year ago, I was extremely addicted to Ecstasy. I basically would do anything to get
those little guys and get completely zonked out of my mind. I also smoke copious amounts of pot as well. One day, my dealer was talking to me...well
I was talking to him (very quickly) about how much he charges for ounces of pot. Basically he told me that I could "slang" for him and not pay too
much for the bud. I left his house and went home for a few hours to think it through.
I decided that I would deal for him. While I got into my car to head to his place, my body kept shaking and I kept hearing a voice in my head saying:
"It was the worst decision I've ever made in my life." Low and behold, I decided to support my habbit of binging on Ecstasy and deal pot.
It went well, very well, for a few months. Then, as my usage of Ecstasy increased, I slowly became increasingly paranoid and reclusive. Basically I
hit rock bottom, and decided to get help. I went to my doctor, who sent me to a mental health clinic to get checked out. I was diagnosed with
Bi-Polar and Schizo-Defective disorder. I do believe that some of it had to do with the drug abuse, but schizophrenia and bi-polar syndrom run on my
mother and father's side of the family.
Now here is my question: That voice I heard telling me: "It was the worst decision I have ever made." Could it in some way have been my possible
chance of righting a possible wrong? I never forgot about that sentence I heard that night, and is partially what helped me decide to get help. Is it
possible that it was me communicating with myself from beyond or an alternate universe? I've been very perplexed with this question for sometime,
and you guys seem to be the best ones to ask.
I want to let you all know that this is the first time I have ever disclosed this story with anyone. Not my parents, not my girlfriend, not even the
doctors really. Why you ask? I was scared to death to tell anyone about this. I honestly believed I would be taken away somewhere and never see my
loved ones again. But over the last year I've come to cope with the fact that I was extremely sick and possibly averted a big big disaster.
What are your guys' opinions on this? I know I'll get a few snide remarks and stuff. That's fine. But I honestly would like to hear what some of
you think about my "theory" and what you also may think.
Wow, what a long post. I hope you guys take me seriously and feel open enough to share your own insight on the matter.
Droops