I've screwed up

I'm going to start at the beginning.

In May last year, I finished Secondary School and looked back on what a moron I was. In year 10, I fell in with a rough crowd and I pretty much stopped working in school, I really wanted to be a doctor at the time and was a big boffin in Science. But when I stopped caring, my grades suffered and as a result I didn't achieve the grades I need to study further Sciences and Medicine in College.

I was gutted, really, really gutted, but being the complete idiot I am, I tucked away the emotions I felt and got myself into a different college course.

Now this is where it gets really pathetic. Two weeks before starting it, I turned it down in the hope of getting an apprenticeship in avionics, which I thought I had.

Turned out, I didn't get it and now, nearly a year later, I've been sitting around the house doing nothing, hoping that it will all straighten itself out.

It hasn't, and I really want to get back into college to send me on the way to being a doctor, I've taken one positive step, which is enrolling on a Maths course to get the required grade in that, but my Science is still sub-par.

If anyone had actually read this far, your probably wondering what I posted this here for. The reason is that this site is packed with wonderful people and I've made a few friends here over the years. Also, this is the first place I've said any of this, on the internet. I don't know what that says about me, but I just hope someone out there can help me, no matter how slight that help may be.

Jeez, I'm ranting now, sorry. My main problem is that for the past few weeks I've been wracked with worry about what will happen if I don't get into college.

Thank you for reading.

Here you go- stop worrying.

You've got a goal in mind and you're working towards it. There's not much else you can do. Yes, life is going to throw you some curveballs. I guarantee this won't be the last, or worst one.

There is absolutely no point in dwelling on past mistakes, beyond recognizing what you did wrong so you won't repeat them.

You say you've taken a positive step. Good start. As you're probably already aware, sometimes the first step's the hardest. Press on.

I have a link in my signature to an old work called "As a Man Thinketh". Read it. There's as much good advice there as you'll ever get.

Here's an excerpt-

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever you may be, under whatever conditions you may live, know this: In the ocean of life the isles of blessedness are smiling and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hands firmly upon the helm of thought. In the core of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake Him. Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, "Peace. Be still."

Good luck.

Hey Zanzibar.
Yeahright gave some pretty good advice.
You're a good person, and seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Look, when I was a young man, I was a screw-up in every way.

You recognize the "problem".
You're passionate about fixing "said problem".

In other words you know where you want to get, and are taking appropriate steps to achieve your goal. I applaud you, my friend.

I don't know the goings on across the Pond, but here in the States, there are all types of collegiate programs to help people in exactly your predicament. I have to assume that there are such academic options there as well.

Keep your chin up, and NEVER take your eyes "off the ball". Just remember me when you hit the big time.

Stay Cool Dude,
lombozo