crush problems

ok theres this girl at school i like but i'm kinda iffy on whether she likes me i'm reeealy nervous around her but i want to tell her i like her what should i do

If you're too scared to talk to her, you're too scared to tell her you like her, which means you're too scared to be in a relationship with her. And don't tell anyone you like them unless you are 200% sure they like you back. Otherwise, it'll be awkward, very awkward.

Doesn't sound like you're quite mature enough to handle a girlfriend, my friend.

:shk:

Originally posted by Paresthesia
If you're too scared to talk to her, you're too scared to tell her you like her, which means you're too scared to be in a relationship with her. And don't tell anyone you like them unless you are 200% sure they like you back. Otherwise, it'll be awkward, very awkward.

Doesn't sound like you're quite mature enough to handle a girlfriend, my friend.

:shk:

Obviously. Paresthesia, isn't it obvious you have to take that first leap of faith to overcome everything?


My advice is to go for it fully.

Deep feelings are great but setting alone and figuring out how you might have shortcomings will guarantee your failure. Feel good about yourself and just go for it, and if you get turned down, don't fret - there is gonna be someone else who you will feel just as good about.

If I knew you I would put in a good word for ya, but since this is just a message board, all I can do is give you words of encouragement. Go for it and don't get discouraged.

well whatever you do, do NOT just whip it out and start waving it at her! She will likely interpret that as "coming on too strong" and panic and respond with Drama!

In all seriousness though, Paresthesia had a good point.... you have already made a mistake in that you have let your attraction to her and your emotions get out of control. When you approach other people, one of the most important things is to be able to help them feel relaxed and comfortable talking to you. If you try to approach her when you're all nervous, I guarantee you she will pick up on that right away, and it will make HER nervous - and then she'll walk away or give you any excuse to get you away from her.

Try to find a way to get her attention and simply engage her in casual conversation. Your goal is NOT to tell her you like her or ask her out, ONLY to engage her in a conversation. And while you talk to her, your goal is simply to stand tall and smile and look her in the eyes and gauge her reactions to you.

If she seems to be responding positively to you, you can then attempt to move things forward - "can I call you sometime?" or "what are you doing on the weekend" or something to that effect.

If you don't get a positive response, if she seems to be trying to cut the conversation short, or starts mentioning a BF incessantly etc - then you know to bail out.... and move on to the next one....

Nothing ventured nothing gained. It is better to try and get rejected than to not try at all. You have to get used to rejection....it's part of the game.

I'm sorry but my first note, JBlaze, that was a pretty cool saying you had in your comment. Don't know if you did it intentionally, but it was cool.

And on to the task at hand..

I don't think this is a hopeless situation, you just need to set your mind to your main goal and follow up. I disagree with whoever said you were too immature to even have a girlfriend, one must not judge anothers shortcomings. Just don't beat yourself up about a chick who sits on that side of the room, and you on the other. It will only mess you up in the long run. If it's pretty obvious she's not into a person like you, then you may as well jump off now, because it's proabably not going to happen. I'm not trying to discourage you in anyways, just don't kid yourself. It sucks when you go on thinking something is possible, but in reality it's totally insane. Your emotions after the first reaction..
Rejection-
Just a friend-:bnghd:
She has a crush on someone else-
You glancing from a safe distance-
How you may look in reality-
You get the babe-
Your whipped-
Her reactions;
WTF? While in class-
Blah-
WAAH?-
I'm sorry, but no-:shk:
Okay-

Obviously I got sidetracked at the end, but i'm bored here ..
Goodluck with the whole situation anyways man, I mean it.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Doesn't sound like you're quite mature enough to handle a girlfriend, my friend.
:shk:

Were do we start?

Don't worry keep level headed, make sure she has similar feelings.

Then take the plunge.

Just do it.

Sorry if I sounded rude. I didn't mean to be condescending. I have an odd way of motivational speaking...
I think you should definitely try because it'll be a good experience. Being scared is one of the biggest reasons why great things don't happen. Because you don't have enough confidence to take the initiative.
Guys are expected to make the first move and if they're too scared to do that, girls tend to think they don't like them or that they're just not "ready" when really they're just not used to being hurt.
Acceptance and rejection are parts of life;; just be careful in the decisions you make, ok??

Artemis,
if you never ask her you'll never know what the answer will be...i'm in my mid-30's and have just had the worst several weeks accepting a rejection from a woman I fell for, trust me, that feeling of uncertainty will never change, but how you deal with those felings will.

have faith, and just do it

Well, in Parethesias defense, she is speaking form a female's perspective. I, as a male, really didn't disagree with what she said. If you're too scared to take a chance, then you probably don't need to be in a relationship.

Hey,I know how it feels to not be sure if some girl likes you or not.It's not a very good feeling. However, females aren't quite as obvious as guys are about these things. As a matter of fact, it has been my experience that a girl can like you a lot and you never know it. It's just the way they are wired or something. :shk:

There is so much focus on whether or not you can that no one has considered whether or not you should.

I've always made a conscious effort not to date those I go to school with or work with, or even live too close to for that matter. Come to think of it, I won't even approach girls in my gym. Anyway, disrupting your status quo can have a negative impact on you, your goals, your happiness, your peace of mind, and your sanity.

I believe they call it "not pooping where you eat."

Don't get me wrong, I've broken this rule time and time again. Each time I do I get to learn first hand why the rule exists in the first place. But enough about that, I could go on for hours about the "Jack Tripper" like experiences that I've had.

My ultimate advice would be for you to make friends with this girl. And be really nonchalant about it too, this way if things do develop between the two of you, you've still got your cool. I digress. Basically, making friends with girls is fantastic because then you'll get to meet other girls that she knows that are outside of your sphere. This will multiply your opportunities and reduce your risks, it's a win win situation.

Then again, I'm a cynical ass, that's why I'm on ATS, so maybe it's best not to listen to me.

if u dont ask her then she might have a crush on someone else

Originally posted by ArtemisFowl
ok theres this girl at school i like but i'm kinda iffy on whether she likes me i'm reeealy nervous around her but i want to tell her i like her what should i do

I hope I'm not too late! Here's low down.. or down low.. whatever.. Let me lay it out for you. Girls are fickle. Fickle fickle fickle. If she likes you, she has already told you so by smiling at you or talking to you. Now you have to (HAVE TO) respond back in a positive way very very soon. If you don't, she will move on. And with in a week or two she will already be with another guy. Even though she likes you, she will quickly forget about you if she doesn't feel like you like her.

The best way to find out is to ask her friends. Her friends will tell her that you asked, so she will know you're interested, even without you having to talk directly to her. Plus her friends will tell you how she feels. Now you have all the info you need, she knows you're interested, and you haven't even talked to her yet! That way there's no awkward "do you like me" conversations. GO NOW! Find out! Before it's too late!



Still here? I said go NOW!!!

NO!

WARNING!!!!

NO NO NO!

NEVER try to approach a girl indirectly by asking her friends, or by sending one of your friends to talk to her or her friends...

The girls will see this as WEAK. Like, "So, what, he likes me but he's too shy to even talk to me? How pathetic!"

You know that "butterflies in your stomach" feeling you're feeling now? It will get TEN TIMES WORSE once the girls KNOW for a fact that you like her, but can't work up the nerve to talk to her!

You MUST MUST MUST learn to approach the girl and talk to her directly - even if her friends are around.

And yes it is hard if you're a shy guy without much experience, but it will get easier with time and practice....

I absolutly agree depending on what grade ur in girls mature differently from my point of view