New Bill of Rights
by Jay Seidal
December 5, 2003
PREAMBLE
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some resemblance of justice, avoid any more riots,
keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, and delusional. We hold these
truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You don't have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything...
ARTICLE II
You don't have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave
the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be ... and like the rest of
us, you need to simply deal with it.
ARTICLE III
You don't have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the manufacturer to
make you and all your relatives independently wealthy by telling them they didn't warn you not to stick the screwdriver in your eye.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we should be wary of public health care or
public anything.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest
of us want to see you fry in the electric chair (yes, capital punishment).
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms,
or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs, education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness --which by the way-- is a lot easier if
you are not encumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights,
ARTICLE X
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from. We welcome you here. English is our language and like the one you left behind,
we also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the country and the living conditions you were fleeing."
I don't know about the rest of the people on this board, but I really like this. It's not perfect, but its a start. What do the rest of you
think?
Original posting:
www.sianews.com...