Questioning myself

Times are getting worse and I personally think the Rapture is close. I used to be a devout Christian, i went to a protestant school for around 10 years. After moving, i was forced to move to a public school, and then exposed to many things that ive never had to deal with. I swear sometimes during moments of stress,ect (some very profane and im embarrassed and angry at myself for it. Im constantly seeing things on how you get to heaven, going to church every Sunday (i haven't been to church in a while), showing kindness to others (I'm quiet, but some people just make me angry) I don't smoke or drink, or have sexual intercourse. I believe in god with all my heart and I love him dearly, But I sometimes question why he is doing things, still I believe in him. Im confused on how a person would get to heaven. Am I a horrible sinner, doomed forever?

[edit on 8-12-2006 by nastalgik]

Yes you are a horrible sinner... so what are you going to do about it? gain gnosis!

Read the Nag Hammadi Library... The Gospel Of Thomas (come to understand every word of it)... seek and you shall find.

Come to understand yourself...

After reading the Nag Hammadi a few times.. Jump into some Samael Aun Weor books..

Originally posted by nastalgik
I believe in god with all my heart and I love him dearly, But I sometimes question why he is doing things, still I believe in him.

Hello nastalgik. i like your name. i will share some truth with you that i have come to believe. if you find it is compliant with your truth, then share it with whomever you wish. if you find it is not your truth, then simply disregard it.

to better comprehend the will of God, perhaps we need to explore loving God with more than just our hearts. mind, body, and soul might are also parts of the puzzle, as to the will of our God.

although many might choose to disagree with me, i believe the word "god" has taken on so many different meanings to so many people. sometimes to make a point i take the word "god" out of the sentence and replace it with the word "truth". God created us in his/her/ image. so, certainly if we were to know our own truth we would be closer to the truth of God, i believe. But, how can we do this? Find our own truth, the motivations behind our intentions. Why we act and behave the way we do, these are questions only we as individuals can truly answer for ourselves. Although, we can recieve guidance.

Im confused on how a person would get to heaven.

I would suggest keeping a journal or diary. When writing in your journal, know that no one else shall ever read it. Why is this important? It is my observations that people are not the same when dealing with individuals in their life. Are we the same people when dealing with our mother, as we are dealing with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Are we the same person with our teacher or boss as we are with our best friend? Usually the answer is no. So, when writing your own thoughts down and knowing that no one else shall ever read them, then you have no one to impress, and no reason to lie to yourself. I think we treat people differently out of love sometimes, and other times out of fear of hurting them, or out of fear of not being accepted by them. At any rate, keeping your own journal will most surely help you answer some of your most intimate questions. And most of all: Keeping a journal or diary will help you de-fragg your mind, just like you do a computer.

Am I a horrible sinner, doomed forever?

We are all sinners. But i would never call you "horrible". and i am sure you are not doomed forever.

how can anything exist seperate from "truth", and continue to exist?

God is present even in "forever", and it is not God's will that you be doomed.

how sure am i?
i wager all that is mine to wager with that you are not doomed, period.

Your are not alone, and you are not a loan. God has a pack, and God has a pride. Anything that calls you it's enemy cannot hide. Even the shadows shall move aside. When they see you, God's angel, walking in stride.

you are not alone, and you are not a loan.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Best wishes, and kindest regards,
John

You're quite correct. All the signs seem to indicate that the end of days is drawing near. If not within our lifetime, almost certainly within the lifetime of our children.

Maybe even tonight. You never know . . .

Originally posted by nastalgikAfter moving, i was forced to move to a public school, and then exposed to many things that ive never had to deal with.

And so, surely, the hidden benefit of that situation was that you had the chance to (and DID) deal with those things? Being sheltered does not temper the character...it probably weakens it, is what I truly think. Check this out:

But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, even those who because of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
~Hebrews 5:14

Huh? How can you make choices without information and experience? Naive is not a trait that contributes toward saintliness. All saints start out as sinners!

I swear sometimes during moments of stress,ect (some very profane and im embarrassed and angry at myself for it.

Why? Are you angry and embarrassed, that is?
Because you are human? Join the club!
I can have a real potty mouth, too - this is not a 'bad' thing - it is positive - it is VENTING...as long as you keep in mind where your mom is, - but seriously...all alone? It doesn't matter A BIT. Frustration which remains bottled up turns into far more deadly and black energy inside - polluting everything that comes out, after a while. It is similar to resentment...all those negative things must be released, safely and ASAP...eventually they will lose their hold. BUT do not hold on to them!

Elijah had the mouth of a sailor - the bible has been modified to be 'PG-13' but it certainly didn't get written without a four letter word here and there. The best word in all of man's experience is a four letter word!

LOVE!!

Im constantly seeing things on how you get to heaven, going to church every Sunday (i haven't been to church in a while),

Trust me, that doesn't matter, either...there is not any more of God in a building one day a week than there is in your very own heart, 24/7.

showing kindness to others (I'm quiet, but some people just make me angry)

Kindness means nothing unless it is motivated by agape love...here is a page at Wiki (believe it or not ) that does offer some insight on this; the highest form of love.
I think of it as 'love that is an active choice - not because of but in spite of...'

This, from that Wiki page, sums it up pretty well:

Christian writers have generally described agape, as expounded on by Jesus, as a form of love which is both unconditional and voluntary; that is, it is non-discriminating with no pre-conditions and is something that one decides to do.

But how to deal with the natural reaction we often have to others around us, who are not voluntarily loving anyone (themselves or us) - especially as we grow more dedicated to making that the priority in each day's every encounter?

1. We must NOT love others in order to receive love back. Expect nothing in return - in the long run the return will be abundant but patience is the key - with yourself and other people. Love is about giving - by choice - not about trade, barter, conditional pacts, or bargains.
   
2. When someone's actions seem totally inexplicable to you - or they do something you would NEVER do...there is a mantra that worked for me:
   'They can't help it.' Which, at first, sounds lame, because OF COURSE they can help it - we all make our own decisions and are accountable for the outcome. But then again..we also easily deceive ourselves in many ways (as a way of coping with issues until we are equipped to face them head on such as in writing a Journal as ET suggested...) If they FULLY knew and realized themselves as others see them, in those cases, no doubt they would not do whatever it is that is so puzzling and dysfunctional. And although we can try to bluntly tell them the truth - until they are able to resolve the original seed that causes the behavior...they won't be able to see, either. If YOU love and accept them 100% without judgment or criticism as they are NOW, then you will greatly aid them in coming to terms with themselves (something WE ALL must do).
   
3. Don't take anything personal...don't react to rudeness or whatever as if it were directly caused by and directed back at YOU....although it sure feels like it is...it isn't - it's all about them and no one else...think about times you might have let loose on the first person to come by after a bad time...and they got a tongue lashing they didn't deserve? That's how WE ALL feel - we are all the same, deep inside...just remember that.
   
4. Don't compare - don't use 'what if' or 'they should' or anything like that...just think 'that's just how they are'...and love them IN SPITE of it! Just accept and understand.
   

I don't smoke or drink, or have sexual intercourse. I believe in god with all my heart and I love him dearly, But I sometimes question why he is doing things, still I believe in him. Im confused on how a person would get to heaven.

It is SO simple for us all, and yet the centuries of religious seeking by so many have obscured the simple beauty of Christ's teachings in the canon.

Matthew chapters 5 - 7 (the sermon on the mount) is an excellent thing to read often...don't worry too much about anything except what Christ said and also, as PuRe suggested - the Gospel of Thomas is also an excellent investment of time spent for understanding and feeling more secure in your life.

BUT the following is TRULY the bottom line - the bare-bones 'fool proof' 100% guaranteed success method for what you seek:

Master, which is the great commandment in the Law?

Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

~Matthew 22:36-39

which is that which Christ refers to here as his 'words' and 'commandments':

He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me.

And he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will reveal Myself to him.

Judas (not Iscariot) said to Him, Lord, how is it that You will reveal Yourself to us and not to the world?

Jesus answered and said to him, If a man loves Me, he will keep My Word.

And My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him.

He who does not love Me does not keep My Words, and the Word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me.

~John 14:21-24

Drinking, smoking, sex, a potty-mouth...those are PHYSICAL things and while they might make it seem like the outside of the cup is the same as the inside (meaning: 'cleansed') - the only way to be truly cleansed is from the INSIDE out...

meaning that you are better off forgetting about such things and concentrate on loving yourself and your neighbor....with understanding, acceptance, and compassion; without criticism or anything to cause negativity - don't war between 'good' and 'bad' - or 'them' and 'me/us'...just love love love (make love NOT war!).

'All things are pure to he that is pure (singular in the motivation of your heart).'

God bless you!
Shalom!

Originally posted by nastalgik
Times are getting worse and I personally think the Rapture is close. [edit on 8-12-2006 by nastalgik]

Keep thinking because it won't happen. The whole "rapture" ideology was designed to mislead the masses into thinking they were somehow deservinig of escaping what is to come upon the earth.. Also, theologians such as La Haye have done nothing but made money off of this false doctrine that isn't biblical at all.

:shk::shk:

[edit on 9-12-2006 by SpeakerofTruth]

Originally posted by PuRe EnErGy
Yes you are a horrible sinner... so what are you going to do about it? gain gnosis!

YES (s)he's right! You are a horrible sinner....as is every man and woman. None of us is worthy to spend eternity in Heaven with God.

Originally posted by nastalgik
Im confused on how a person would get to heaven. Am I a horrible sinner, doomed forever?

NO! Jesus died for your sins, he died for all of our sins! All you need to do is accept him as your savior try to follow his teachings and you too will be saved.

John 14:6

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

[edit on 12/18/2006 by kinglizard]

nastalgik, i personally think you should take an hour a day to personally examine you beliefs

do so for a week
just meditate on what you believe
why you believe it
and possibly look into other religions and some philosophical works

then come to what you truely believe

once you've done so, look at yourself and just do what you feel is right