ahhh love...someone help me out

Alright im kind of having a problem. Anyone ever found some hot as girl that you just want to bang,but then realize you really like them. Wll here is the deal there is this girl, she hot in my some of my classes we preaty good friends. Known each other for about well all of our high school years. Its the last year and i am going to be moving and probably going to different college once school is done. The thing is this girl i really like i mean almost love her. I dont no why i find it so hard to just well ask her out, or even well get her to show some signs of affection. keep in mind we no strengers to each other.

Infact i find it hard to get her. THe thing is i am usually good with getting girls weither it be sexual attraction or just plain being together.I was always lucky with someone. This past year i found it very hard to get any or even a special person (although i have been lucky partly). But i tell ya this girl is different, i mean i serously like her and really want to try to be with her . I tryed to make here jealous by asking her about if she is going to like a dance like homecoming,i already asked someone knowing someone already asked her just to see if she showed some sings of jealousy...although she was very excited in a WOW u asked here kind of way considering the person i asked was one of her close freinds she still didnt seem jealous. She asked me why i didnt tell her, and i was like " i didnt want ya to get jealous..hehehe"...she then just said ya you have a long way to get to there...didnt really know what that ment but i felt a little embarrised and sad inside.I also felt kind of stupid for saying that :bash::bash:

Im stumped with her...aynone ever been in a position like this?

MAn no one is going to help a person in need. Come on i am sure there are many of you that are or have been in these situations.

just grow the spine a little and say:

Hey, I think we should hang out sometime, lets go x place on y day, what do you say?

Whats the worst that could happen? Rejection?


only a billion other fish in the sea.

Originally posted by ATSGUY

I tryed to make here jealous by asking her about if she is going to like a dance like homecoming,i already asked someone knowing someone already asked her just to see if she showed some sings of jealousy...although she was very excited in a WOW u asked here kind of way considering the person i asked was one of her close freinds she still didnt seem jealous. She asked me why i didnt tell her, and i was like " i didnt want ya to get jealous..hehehe"...she then just said ya you have a long way to get to there...didnt really know what that ment but i felt a little embarrised and sad inside.I also felt kind of stupid for saying that :bash::bash:

Im stumped with her...aynone ever been in a position like this?

Right, merely mentioning that you approached or asked out another girl isn't going to make someone jealous. She has to SEE you carrying on with another girl, preferably a hot one! or two or three! ;-)

So in your case it would be equivalent to say, hanging out in the cafeteria and chatting up random cute girls until you make some new friends. Then make a point of introducing them to her and carrying on with them in front of her.

That is the sort of effort it will take if you want to employ that tactic.

WARNING: This can be a quite spiteful and devastating tactic to use on someone if they legitimately feel for you. It should ONLY be used if the person is treating you like you're not good enough for them, ie she doesn't call you or spend time with you, or she makes fun of you, acts like you're boring etc....

If she spends time with you and treats you well - maybe you just need to be a little more playful with her? To get her turned on....? ;-)

LOL
Not that it's funny... but I'm usualy 'the girl he's having trouble goint up to'. lol

I think the problem is that you actualy like her and feel she's 'good enough' or better than the average...

That's when the guys get a little flustered and shy.

But you know what? The girls that are better looking than average and have a great personality, smart etc - you'd think they have lots of guys falling all around them and alway busy in the dating game. The problem is this - moslty it's the player types and the undesireables that have the guts (or drugs) to actualy approach them. And if they are picky... generaly, they have more openings in their date book than you'd think.

Crakeur's Advice:

Step 1. Stop playing games. The jealousy route, the disinterested route etc are nonsense. If you want something, go get it. If you get rejected, it's her loss and move on. Nothing is more appealing to a woman than a man with self confidence. Don't over do it tho because nothing is less appealing to a woman than an egomaniac.

Step 2. Be yourself around her. Always. Never try and be something you aren't. If you put on some kind of act for a woman and it chases her, it means she might have liked the real you. If you put on an act of some kind and it does work, you are forced to keep up the charade for as long as you are with her. If she doesn't like you for who you are, you move on.

Step 3. If you do get a date with her, go somewhere that will allow you to spend time with her and not in some group situation. Parties, dances etc are great for later dates but the first few dates are basically interviews and you need to be able to learn all about her while she does the same for you. Taking her somewhere that will result in her being around her friends or you around yours might seem like a good idea but it usually isn't.

Step 4. when it comes time to make out, always play side two of Zeppelin 4. (ok, this is mike demone's rule )

A bit of a sidebar on the steps. If she is in your english class, try to pay less attention to her and more to the teacher. Your grammar and spelling need some work.


Best of luck.

Originally posted by AngelaLadyS
LOL
Not that it's funny... but I'm usualy 'the girl he's having trouble goint up to'. lol

I think the problem is that you actualy like her and feel she's 'good enough' or better than the average...

That's when the guys get a little flustered and shy.

But you know what? The girls that are better looking than average and have a great personality, smart etc - you'd think they have lots of guys falling all around them and alway busy in the dating game. The problem is this - moslty it's the player types and the undesireables that have the guts (or drugs) to actualy approach them. And if they are picky... generaly, they have more openings in their date book than you'd think.

Right, someone who is the "real deal" comes along only rarely...

So when you find one, hang onto him! ;-)

HINT: phones are extremely useful! Guys don't like women that don't return phone calls!

Hm. I don't know about returning phone calls. I mean if the guy left his phone number and saied to call him back - yeah - I'd call back. But if it was just a message that he called, I certainly wouldn't call back just to say "I heard you called".

What about internet, e-mail?

Hey thanks for the great advice, I did try to be someone else around a friend the other day. You know basically acting like an idiot to her; it was a very small incident. Oh and ouch on the English part.

Originally posted by Crakeur
Crakeur's Advice:

Step 1. Stop playing games. The jealousy route, the disinterested route etc are nonsense. If you want something, go get it. If you get rejected, it's her loss and move on. Nothing is more appealing to a woman than a man with self confidence. Don't over do it tho because nothing is less appealing to a woman than an egomaniac.

Step 2. Be yourself around her. Always. Never try and be something you aren't. If you put on some kind of act for a woman and it chases her, it means she might have liked the real you. If you put on an act of some kind and it does work, you are forced to keep up the charade for as long as you are with her. If she doesn't like you for who you are, you move on.

Step 3. If you do get a date with her, go somewhere that will allow you to spend time with her and not in some group situation. Parties, dances etc are great for later dates but the first few dates are basically interviews and you need to be able to learn all about her while she does the same for you. Taking her somewhere that will result in her being around her friends or you around yours might seem like a good idea but it usually isn't.

Step 4. when it comes time to make out, always play side two of Zeppelin 4. (ok, this is mike demone's rule )

A bit of a sidebar on the steps. If she is in your english class, try to pay less attention to her and more to the teacher. Your grammar and spelling need some work.


Best of luck.

Originally posted by AngelaLadyS
Hm. I don't know about returning phone calls. I mean if the guy left his phone number and saied to call him back - yeah - I'd call back. But if it was just a message that he called, I certainly wouldn't call back just to say "I heard you called".

What about internet, e-mail?

You know, people can sometimes agonize about what to say to someone over the phone, especially if it's someone they like a lot.... I find it's best to just keep things simple, like

"Hi, is #### there? Hey, it's #######, I'm going to be at #### tonight, do you want to meet me there?"

Just get straight to the point and ask for what you want - how surprised and thrilled will you be when you get exactly what you ask for?

I know how you feel.
Two years ago I was 16 and I was a little love god. Then it just stopped, and I found myself actually liking girls.

After that came a severe blow to my confidence and feeling that I wasn't good enough for any of the girls I really liked.

I suggest that you just straight up and ask her. I let the ONE that I actually love slip past me because I thought she was too good for me even thoguh everyone else said we were perfect together (we went out for a week before I broke up with her).

Be yourself, don't do the jealous thing cause its stupid, and most of all STOP THINKING WITH YOUR PHALLUS!!!

Originally posted by millerman
You know, people can sometimes agonize about what to say to someone over the phone, especially if it's someone they like a lot.... I find it's best to just keep things simple, like

"Hi, is #### there? Hey, it's #######, I'm going to be at #### tonight, do you want to meet me there?"

Just get straight to the point and ask for what you want - how surprised and thrilled will you be when you get exactly what you ask for?

That's PERFECT. As the person on the other end of the phone (although I rarely find myself without anything to say)... it is awkward to have long pauses where no one knows what to say.

I like the idea of starting off the conversation (after greatings), with saying you only have a few minutes but you wanted to call and ask.... that way no one feels funny when the phone call is quick, but you don't have to worry about awkward long pauses.

mod edit: compound quote

[edit on 1-10-2006 by sanctum]

I think the hooking up part would be good I just need l a sign from her to know that she wants to go out or something. Right now I am in the position of not knowing if she really likes me, i mean we are good friends, but there have been times when I felt like she really didn’t like me. And i just know that if I get rejected by her it will really be a very weird and aquard(sp?). Can you imagine how it would be if well u sat next to the person that u really likes possibly loved and she just felt aquard around you?



[edit on 30-9-2006 by ATSGUY]

Originally posted by ATSGUY
Can you imagine how it would be if well u sat next to the person that u really likes possibly loved and she just felt aquard around you?

Hmm perhaps it's not that she minded you sitting with her but maybe in your haste and enthusiasm you did it a bit too fast and she wasn't expecting it or prepared for it?

When approaching someone you're attracted to it's very important to stay calm and keep her comfortable and not overwhelm her with it - especially in public places, like school or work or the mall. Approaching too aggressively can cause a person to Panic, and respond with Drama, and you don't want that trust me!

mod edit: Trim Those Quotes – Please Review This Link.

[edit on 1-10-2006 by sanctum]

Listen, I'll give you a hint about girls -

We are flattered that you ask A.
And B. if we decide to shoot you down, we don't do it meanly.. unless the girl is a super bitch... we're pretty nice about it.. especially if we're your friend.

So just ask. No harm in asking. Just say Hey, I really dig you, and I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. Be flexible, don't be pushy. Be confident though - girls dig that.

You mentioned school or classes. Are you in collage or high school?

If in collage, if there's a break between classes etc, ask her (as if yhou'd ask a friend) ...
"Hey, are you going out to lunch today?"
or ask her if she want's to come to lunch with you etc.

I think your making it hard for yourself.

Ex. I'm going to calss right now too. It's an 8 hour class so we have a few breaks and a lunck break. I didn't know any of these people 3 weeks ago - At lunch break last week, as we're walking out the door everyone had to ask everyone where they were going for lunch. Last several said they were going to a resturant across the parking lot. I jumped right in with them and walked over. We had a wonderful time.

The first week I went out for a cigarette and missed seeing where everyone went. So I went into the hotel loby for their resteraunt. I got in there and the waitress sat me alone at my own table. By the time I'd ordered I noticed that a few tables away there were 4 of my class mates talking about class. I grabbed my coffee and pulled my chair over and said, "Can I join you guys, I don't want to miss anything"
They were happy I joined them.

So see - no big deal, even if they are strangers... people generaly act about the same. Curtious and reseptive or just the opposite.

I think the worst she could possibly do is to say soething about being friends only... and you can play that one off to save face... say something like, "Yeah - of course as buddies/friends/what-ever."

AngelaLadyS i am in high school so people can be really bitchy, but i think there is no harm in trying so i think i will ask her if she wants to hang out or something this weekend.