Being Stalked

Ok, I'm getting really frustrated and I just need some place to vent. Here goes...

I met this guy 6 1/2 years ago. He liked me, I didn't, and he knew it. So I met another guy through him (now my husband) and ever since this guy has done nothing but lie about me behind my back and try and convince my husband to leave me ( I think he just couldn't stand us being together).

Anyway, about a year later this guy gets married. I meet his wife and really wanted to be her friend as we had a lot in common. Whenever I would try to talk to her, she would agressively walk away and start arguing with her husband. I later found out he had told his wife I was "obsessed" with him and "in love" with him, which of course, was not ever true. In reality, he was approaching me privately and suggesting we leave our significant others for each other, and I was absolutely disgusted but didn't tell my husband as I didn't want to upset him or cause conflict with his friend. When I turned him down, again, he started spreading lies to mutual friends, playing the victim and lying about myself and my husband's relationship. My husband and I lost a few friends because of it.

Three years later, I had enough and told this guy to stop coming around. He became very angry, started coming over when I wasn't home, pleading with my husband to leave me. My husband told him to leave and never come over again.

Ever since, these people have been driving by my apartment when I'm outside, honking their horns and shouting, flipping me off. The guy has gone into my husband's work, crying, and again asking him to leave me, and lyiing and saying that he "hears I'm cheating on him".

Not to long ago they decided to move across the street from us (this is a pretty big city). They've been hanging out with the people in my apartment building, and my husband asked our neighbors to not have these people disturb us, to which they agreed as they didn't want any conflict.

Just last week I started getting messages on myspace from this guy (I don't know how he found me, as my name is not on there anywhere, and neither is my picture, and I put in a fake name in the search). He's sent me over a dozen messages in the past few days and they are becoming increasingly agressive "tell your husband I said f off for not talking to me!" and "don't worry, i'm not going to kill you". He then forwarded a message to myself and some of my friends calling me names, talking about how angry his, cussing us out, etc.

So, I ignored the messages, didn't reply and blocked him. I found out from one of our mutual friends he is blogging about me and my husband's relationship, how "empty" it is, how we are only together because we are physically attracted to each other, etc. His wife is also blogging about how her husband is crying every night about it, how no one likes me, how I "stole" my husband from her husband, how her husband wants to die because of it, and begging my husband to divorce me.

I don't know what to do. My husband works nights, so I take him to work and pick him up while it's still dark, and I'm home alone in my apartment all night. And like I said, these people are hanging out in my apartment building now and live across the street. I'm scared one night I'm going to get attacked.

The worst part is, is these people are 26 years old and have to kids, one of which has a disability. I cannot fathom why they are harrassing me, I haven't provoked them in any way and haven't spoken to them in 3 years.

Sorry this was so long. I just don't know what to do.

[edit on 9/18/2006 by Pink_Cola]

Contact the police and see about getting a restraining order.

Contact the authorities. You are clearly being harassed and you don't need to take it.

Also, until everything is resolved carry some kind of personal alarm or even some mace.

Nygdan and JackofBlades are right, you should contact
your local authorities.

Perhaps consider investing in a gun as well, you can never be to safe,
especially insituations like that.

Originally posted by Nygdan
Contact the police and see about getting a restraining order.

yes sir!

Have you tried to get a restraining order?

Also regarding the myspace harrassment, you could report them to myspace.

Thanks, everyone.

I don't know if I can get a restraining order. The only "proof" I have are the myspace messages. I'd really like to, but I'm afraid I might just have to wait for this guy to confront me in person for them to be able to do anything.

And my husband is buying me some mase spray tonight.

Originally posted by iori_komei
Perhaps consider investing in a gun as well, you can never be to safe,
especially insituations like that.

Personally, I'd advise against that. Guns are only good for escalating situations.
You wouldn't want to be walking home one night with a gun in your bag, then suddenly hear a noise behind you. You turn and fire, realising too late that it was just some kid running home.

Just be sensible. Contact the authorities, and use a non-lethal deterrent to protct yourself. A shot of mace to the face is just as crippling as a potentially fatal mis-fired bullet.

Originally posted by Pink_Cola
Thanks, everyone.

I don't know if I can get a restraining order. The only "proof" I have are the myspace messages. I'd really like to, but I'm afraid I might just have to wait for this guy to confront me in person for them to be able to do anything.

And my husband is buying me some mase spray tonight.

The Myspace messages should be sufficient. Assuming they make most of their posts from home, Myspace could probably trace their IP's and use that to see whether they are behind it.
Whether you have proof or not contact the authorities.