Abuse (control issues)

Originally posted by AngelaLadyS

I wonder what would happen if a woman put up a list of 'wants' and 'don't wants' and a list of questions for men to fill out....

Now this is funny....no not really...sad is more like it. Dealing with some women out there among the wildlife scene is just like filling out a resume. Not much different when you can see them coming...one line after another. Its like filling out a job application. Ive even told some of them.."Im not here to fill out a job application..a resume..deal with it."

This is similar to women getting tired of the same olde lines being used on them.
It happens to men too.

Orangetom.

Meeting people on line is ok..if it is that for which one is comfortable. For it to go anywhere you eventually have to meet face to face..and "deal with it."

YOu can do just as good or bad in church ..at the local watering hole...grocery store...laundry mat..night club...etc etc. Do they still do mail order brides..as was done years ago....or is this too done on line now days??

Orangetom

When you have a argument or even a debate with a woman...you need to be right on the mark..the bulls eye. You need to know exactly what you are talking about .

The reason I say this is because with some women ....an emotional jag is what passes for being correct and right.....confusion allows many to play through unchallanged. This is like a default setting on this computer...it automatically goes there. Most men are not accustomed to dealing with this. They are to stupid...and the women know this and that it will allow them to play through with most men. They are not about to clue the men in.
There are alot of really stupid men out here in this arena. They lose arguments to women like this and they can even be correct about what they are trying to defend...but lose to wild emotions.

As a man you dont put up with wildlife.....do you think a woman would put up with wildlife from a man?? Think it through...carefully. Talk about a stupid bunch of men out here. As a man you have to be educated and cultured into that kind of stupidity to put up with that...and many are.

Orangetom

Originally posted by dgtempe
Try being married to a shellshocked Marine.

Although we have lots of love between us, let me tell you i have had to be strong all my married days to counteract the domination that goes on in my house.

Basically, i do what i want when i want and nobody can dictate what i can and cannot do. Talk about locking horns!!! I can out-yell, out-scream and outdo this sargeant anyday

I've learned to live my life one day at a time with someone i love but we get on each others nerves quite often. One thing is for sure. I cant dominate him and he cant dominate me. He's a Leo and I'm an Aquarian- total opposites.

We love each other...to death.

LOL!

For me it's not about domination at all.... more like cooperation. I don't expect a woman to agree with me or do as I say 100% of the time, but if I am being fair and reasonable and I make a reasonable request of her, I expect her to cooperate... I am really an exceptionally laid back and easy person to get along with, under normal conditions...

Relationships where people are trying to "win" or control or dominate all the time, where people fight constantly about the simplest, stupidest little things, like who is supposed to call who, where and when to go on a date or who's place to spend quality time together at, who's bed to sleep in.... they are just not worth it. Give me an eager-to-please submissive type any day! :p

Originally posted by orangetom1999

When you have a argument or even a debate with a woman...you need to be right on the mark..the bulls eye. You need to know exactly what you are talking about .

The reason I say this is because with some women ....an emotional jag is what passes for being correct and right.....confusion allows many to play through unchallanged. This is like a default setting on this computer...it automatically goes there. Most men are not accustomed to dealing with this. They are to stupid...and the women know this and that it will allow them to play through with most men. They are not about to clue the men in.
There are alot of really stupid men out here in this arena. They lose arguments to women like this and they can even be correct about what they are trying to defend...but lose to wild emotions.

As a man you dont put up with wildlife.....do you think a woman would put up with wildlife from a man?? Think it through...carefully. Talk about a stupid bunch of men out here. As a man you have to be educated and cultured into that kind of stupidity to put up with that...and many are.

Orangetom

Orangetom,

What the hell are you talking about? I see nothing but a whole lot of deliberately vague language.... and calling men stupid all the time? Care to actually give some examples and specifics so people know what you're talking about?

Originally posted by millerman

Orangetom,

What the hell are you talking about? I see nothing but a whole lot of deliberately vague language.... and calling men stupid all the time? Care to actually give some examples and specifics so people know what you're talking about?

Millerman...

Are you having a emotional jag here?? Do you need a makeover to help you get through this day??

Thanks,
Orangetom

Millerman,

You know, if i had the chance to do it all again, i would chose the mildest manered, cooperative, easiest to get along person in the world. I am very easy to get along with, but i dont like being "tampered" with. I have a great sense of humor and a big sense of loyalty. The problem here is that he believes he's still in the service as a sargeant.
I keep reminding him every day he's no longer in command. He doesnt listen.:shk:
Dont get me wrong, we met as kids and married and love each other...but yes, the nitpicking that goes on over the silliest things can be too much. Yet, if i'm not home he goes crazy without me. :shk:

I'm afraid i wouldnt know how to act with someone who was laid back and i often wondered if i lost him if i would pick the same type of chaotic relationship.
I dont know. I would hope not.

Originally posted by orangetom1999

Originally posted by AngelaLadyS

I wonder what would happen if a woman put up a list of 'wants' and 'don't wants' and a list of questions for men to fill out....

Now this is funny....no not really...sad is more like it. Dealing with some women out there among the wildlife scene is just like filling out a resume. Not much different when you can see them coming...one line after another. Its like filling out a job application. Ive even told some of them.."Im not here to fill out a job application..a resume..deal with it."

LOL, I agree.
The first thing I do when a man wants to take the relationship farther and be 'exclusive' or what-not... is to tell him what I need from the man in my life and also the things that I really don't think is good for my life. I tell him my long term goals and what's important to me (my main priorities)... I think the man should do this as well.

If people knew what they were getting into before the "love thing' sets in, they could make better choices. It's too easy to fall in love or have someone fall in love with you - then your stuck because you don't want to hurt the other person - and time drags on... not good.

No argument from me here.

I agree with you.

Orangetom

Originally posted by orangetom1999
Do they still do mail order brides..as was done years ago....or is this too done on line now days??

Actually you could do it online but I recommend going to one of those agencies involved in the business, yes it is a business. There are literally hundreds of them and most should have a location or two near you. You go in there and state your intentions and they come out with a sort of catalog which is filled with pictures of these women, and yeah some are actually pretty good looking. Then you tell the person your particular type, submissive, traditional, married, single, age group, physical appearance etc... And they usually tell you a little bit about someone who you may pick as a person of interest. Then (some agencies) they will set up a meeting where you actually have to go to the country, if you want, to sort of see exactly what you're getting. Like how you would take a car around the block before you buy it, if you know what I mean, then you just go from there.

Ok that was longer than I expect, and don't ask me how I know this, lets just say one day I had a stupid idea.

For me it's not about domination at all.... more like cooperation. I don't expect a woman to agree with me or do as I say 100% of the time, but if I am being fair and reasonable and I make a reasonable request of her, I expect her to cooperate... I am really an exceptionally laid back and easy person to get along with, under normal conditions...

Yeah exactly, the only time I might get really upset and start to be an A hole is if I am asking for something in a reasonable way and you start to be difficult about it for no good reason, then we have problems.

they are just not worth it. Give me an eager-to-please submissive type any day! :p

Lol, I personally don't have the nerve or patience to deal with someone like that, if you want to fight over every single little thing, over the dumbest reasons then it's time to call it quits and move on. I can't picture myself arguing with someone everyday about simple things for decades to come. How do some people do it!?

[edit on 25-9-2006 by WestPoint23]

Westpoint,

I look at it this way. There is ABUSE and then there is abuse. I wouldnt classify myself in an abusive relationship at all. There is no verbal or physical abuse ever.
There is a little tug of war to see who wins on certain issues. When you have been married as long as i have, and have kids, and everyone has a strong bond, you overlook and forgive peoples idiocincricies.
I have my faults too. Marriage is not an easy thing. Its probably the most difficult thing i've ever done. There are ups and there are downs, but when there is love all things are conquered.
I know it sounds clicheish, but its true. The perfect person does not exist.:shk:
Only in the movies and when the grass looks greener over the fence...its usually not.