Let's talk about the opposite of love

Orangetom,

>Forgiving her is fine..no problem with that concept.

>I merely point out that you have value in this world...dont put yourself second place to her maneuverings.

Oh, I don't - trust me!

Basically we both screw around on each other.... a disappointing situation considering what could have been....

Originally posted by millerman
You're exactly right and I have tried this exact approach. I have spelled out for her the things she does that I hate and want her to stop doing - and I have spelled out the things that I love about her and exactly what I expect from her.

The problem is - she doesn't listen to me at all and always does the OPPOSITE of what I tell her! So we end up in this neverending battle for control....

How to deal with such a person? When we can't work things out and be Happy together, I can't cut her out of my life completely (due to too many common interests, connections with friends etc), and, obviously, I can't kill her! (JUST JOKING OF COURSE)

Solutions??

The solution is indifference! Which is exacly the reason I started this thread. LOL
Not indifference as in 'I don't care about you', but indifference to that emotional bond/love thing.... another words, what you need to do is exactly what I had to do... begin caring for that person as a person, not as an intamiate relationship or lover, just as a person. You have to do this within yourself - it's a mindset. And when you are able to do this - it would be like your friend that you never had any 'feelings for' getting a new boyfriend... it wouldn't make you jealous or anything. It's just a person you know and get along with.

Originally posted by AngelaLadyS

The solution is indifference! Which is exacly the reason I started this thread. LOL
Not indifference as in 'I don't care about you', but indifference to that emotional bond/love thing.... another words, what you need to do is exactly what I had to do... begin caring for that person as a person, not as an intamiate relationship or lover, just as a person. You have to do this within yourself - it's a mindset. And when you are able to do this - it would be like your friend that you never had any 'feelings for' getting a new boyfriend... it wouldn't make you jealous or anything. It's just a person you know and get along with.

Angela

I agree completely, and I said to her "look let's just step away from all the intensity, the whole love/hate thing, all the insane drama and games and secrecy; and let's get back to some basic human decency and acceptance and respect and friendship and TRUST.

Because the way things are now - we can't even frickin talk to each other!"

This never works though, because she is extremely stubborn and proud! and she seems to feel that she would be lowering herself somehow if she were to capitulate to my will and my way of doing things.....

*sigh*