Study by Research Group Links George Bush to Rare Species of Orangutan

Scientists were astonished to find that the President of the United States is biologically identical to orangutans. This is shaking the scientific world because although the Prez is a simian, he nevertheless resembles a human being in many ways. However, scientists explained at a news conference that, although Bush displays many human features, the final conclusion that he is an orangutan was unavoidable after an exhaustive series of tests on his brain.

"Yes. The results are unmistakable," said a leading biochemist Dr. Bril Lyance, "the President has the identical cerebellum of an orangutan...though slightly smaller and lighter in mass."

There are reports that orangs are very upset about the link to their species. Screaming and screeching could be heard in the arboreal depths of the Amazon similar to the ones often heard by White House staff eminating from the oval office.
Unfortunately, I can't remember where I read this article so I am unable to provide a link.