Halloween Short Story Competion:Result.

I'll also post this up in Chitchat.

First let me thank all who entered.I've been reading them for the last 5 hrs.6 of them I have read more than once.

I have decided that every entry will receive 500 points.

What makes a good horror story?
Well that is a hard one.The writer must draw the reader in.

I was very pleased to see so many entries and so many good ones.It was enjoyable to read them but I can tell you it was a pain in the butt to choose one.

The winner of the Halloween Short Story Competion is Curiousone.
It had a feel to it.Perhaps it was the choice of names which made me feel as though I knew or accepted these people as real.(I learn't a lesson from that and it's a neat trick)It felt homely(reminded me of Harper Lee).The"bag of spirits"sounded naive but something children might have called it.
And then leave them with something to think about.

"JEB always gets what he wants, just ask him and he�ll tell you."

Now I hope Curiousone doesn't get upset if I say I don't think it was perfect.I think he could improve the story and I hope he looks on it as a first draft.If I'm critical I would have liked it to have been children doing the seance(13/14 years old) because I think it would have played with the reader better.

Anyway thanks again.I hope those that entered enjoyed thenselves.If it is a consolation Mrs Bull didn't agree with me and has gone to bed in a huff.

This is the link to the short story forum where any who haven't read the entries sill can and beneath that is the winning entry.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

HSSC - The Old School House

I hope this isn't to long, if it is I apologize.

As a children, teenagers and now adults, Sandra and six of her friends, Tammy, Nut, Wade, Jon, Robert, and Bernie, always seemed to have a bond which centered around ghosts, paranormal events, psychic abilities and so on. This bond was strengthened by an event which took place in the early spring of 1982.

Sandra and Tammy were responsible for the care and maintenance of the �bag of spirits�. The bag itself was a coarse brown burlap sack and the spirits consisted of an antique Ouiji Board, black, white and red candles, a tape recorder, paper, pencils, and a journal.

The trip to the abandoned old School House started out as normal as all of their previous trips to this coveted meeting place. But at some point during this 17 mile drive Sandra became nervous and edgy, something wasn�t right. �I have a bad feeling today�, Sandra said to the crew. Tammy and Jon were quick to dismiss Sandra�s concerns, �Oh please� Tammy said, with Jon adding, �you of all people freaking out! Now that�s a first.� Realizing how silly she had sounded Sandra then dismissed her own concerns.

As Tammy drove the rusty, old, green Buick Skylark, up the dirt road towards the their destination, a place where the �crew�, had become familiar and comfortable with, there seemed to be an eerie silence. There through the overgrown willow trees, and knee high weeds sat the Old School House.

The building itself, was single story, with a concrete basement and a pitched roof. The basement had two coal rooms and several cold, and damp, corridors. The entire crew knew the basement was a pure evil area.

The school, built in 1900�s, was located in a desolate farming community known as Arbon Valley. The school hadn't been used since 1943, when it was shut down and sealed off after Archie Ballard committed his heinous acts within the confines of the schools walls. Ballard had entered the school and systematically slaughtered the 13 students and two School Maids. Ballard claimed that �Jeb� directed him to commit these acts. The playground area was over run with weeds, garbage and broken down playground equipment (swings, see-saw and a wooden merry go round). The few windows in this place had long since been broken out. The wood was no longer brown; it was now a light grayish color with the individual boards being warped and splintering. The roof boar many holes also showing its many years of wear and neglect. The inside looked as old and weathered as the outside; the rafters were visible from the ground floor. Rooms were cluttered with papers, garbage, books and old classroom furniture. Etched in the desktops were some of the names of the children that died that fateful day. Birds had come to make this place their home, building nests within the rafters and walls. Dried bird crap covered the floor, walls and rafters within the building, there was a musty, dirty rotting smell the immediately permeated your nostrils and offending your sinuses as you entered. This was a smell that the crew had become accustom to.

Once the crew had arrived Wade suggested that the attic would be the best place to make contact with the spirits they were seeking. Tammy grabbed the bag of spirits, and headed for the rafters. Sandra still struggling with her uneasy feeling, says to herself, �we do not talk to the evil; remember that, we�ve done this more times that I can count, what�s so different about today?� In an attempt to once again dismiss her concerns she quickly follows up with, �Nothing you fool!� and runs to catch up with Tammy.

The crew begin to make their way to the attic where they had planned on contacting Rachael, the spirit of an 8 year old girl they had spoken to so many times in the past. Rachael was perceived by the entire crew as being a good, playful, and happy spirit. As Sandra thought about what things the crew would learn from Rachael today, she glanced at Tammy and noticed that she had stopped climbing. She had a distant look on her face as Sandra watched her color slowly fade. In that moment Sandra knew that Tammy was feeling the same uneasiness that she had been feeling. �You feel it too don�t you?� Sandra said.
�Feel what?� said Tammy. �We shouldn�t be here today, we shouldn�t mess with the spirits today, and you feel it too!� Sandra said. Tammy rolled her eyes, laughed as she said, �Oh please, stop freaking would ya, I was only wondering what I did with the car keys�. �Oh, excuse me, what the hell was I thinking�, Sandra said as she continued to climb.

Once in attic the candles were set out in a circle alternating between white and red. The candles were lit; the Ouiji board was laid out in the center of the circle. Wade the most radical of the crew entered the circle and sat crossed legged at one side of the board. Tammy then entered and sat at the other side of the board. Sandra enters the circle and sits to the right of Tammy with pen and paper in hand ready to write down all that is spoken. Bernie enters with the tape recorder ready to record every aspect of our conversation with Rachael. Next, Jon, Nut and Robert enter.

As the crew sat there each silently meditating, trying to block out the sounds of the birds scratching within the walls, the flutter of their wings as they took flight or came in for a landing, the wind noisily blowing the dried weeds and leaves in a circular pattern below.

Tammy and Wade placed their finger tips on the plachette, all other sounds just seemed to vanish leaving the sound of the crew deeply breathing in unison.
Almost immediately the plachette began floating around the board in no particular order, which surprised the crew, as it normally takes some time before Rachael or any of the others will speak to them. The plachette began moving faster, scanning over all the letters and numbers, as if whoever was trying to make contact was in an utter panic. The crew immediately recognized the signs of an evil spirit, �Tell the spirit we do not wish to speak to it, tell it good-bye close the board before it escapes!� yelled Robert. Just as Sandra yelled, �Don�t let it pass over all the numbers or it�s going to be to late, hurry!� the plachette abruptly stopped, it hadn�t completed the cycle. Jon pointed out that all of the white candles had gone out. All that remained lit were the red candles in which not even a flicker was seen.

The breathing that was in unison was now a panicked heavy breathing. Wade without warning asked, �Rachael, is this you?� The plachette abruptly went to the word NO. �Who are you?� Wade asked. The plachette responded by floating over the letters, J-E-B. At this moment Sandra knew why she had such an uneasy feeling about today. Although wanting to close the board, say good-bye and leave, Sandra and the rest of the crew, felt compelled to remain. Wade asked, �is there something you need to tell us?�, but before Wade could finish the question the plachette abruptly moved to the word YES and then returned to the center of the board and began to move in a figure 8 fashion. Sandra wrote a note to Wade asking him to ask this spirit if it was evil or good. As Wade read the note the plachette began to answer without being asked. The spirit answered with G-O-O-D-I-S-H-E-L-L-E-V-I-L-E-V-I-L.

Wade continued with the question, �do you have a message for anybody here?� The response, YES, H-A-H-A. �Who is your message for?� Wade asked. The plachett began moving in the figure 8, it went faster and faster, a gust of wind came out of nowhere causing the crew to become momentarily distracted. Wade and Tammy had removed their fingers from the plachette but yet it continued to move quickly through the figure 8. �Do you wish us harm�, Wade asked. The spirit responded with S-O-M-E. �Who do you wish to harm�, Wade quickly asked with a quiver in his voice. The spirit responded with the letters, W-T-S-B and returned to the figure 8 movement. The answer given by the spirit didn�t make sense, so again Wade asked, �who do you wish to harm�. The spirit responded with the letters, T-S-B-W, �This doesn�t make sense; he�s screwing with us, close the board and say good-by now!� Sandra said. The plachette quickly moved to the word NO. Wade out of fear or frustration then asked, �spell the name of who you wish to harm?� The spirit answered with the number 4 and with a bolt the plachette flew off the board, and across the room where it bounced off the attic wall. Another gust of wind rushed through the room blowing out the candles.

That compelling feeling that swept over the crew which made them want stay was now replaced with utter fear and desperation to escape. It was mass panic as Sandra, Tammy and the crew made their way out of the attic and down to ground level. The wind was howling and screaming, piercing their ears with the horrifying sounds. In the howling of the wind Tammy swore that she heard it say, I'm comming for you.

The walls exploded as the birds poured out of them trying to escape the pure evil the crew had released. As Sandra neared the car, she noticed the wind was calm, yet the wooden merry-go round was spinning, and the see-saw was moving up and down as if it had riders.

The ride home was long and quiet for Sandra and the crew, for they knew that what they had released would remain with them forever. Under her breath Tammy thanked God that they were able to get out in time.

One by one Tammy began to drop off the crew, first Wade then Nut then Robert. The four of them, Tammy, Sandra, Bernie and Wade, all lived within a block of each other therefore; they of course were the last to go home. While driving towards home Bernie realized he still had the tape recorder. �Hey, guys check it out�, Bernie said as he began to play the recording. In the background laughing children was heard. Among the laughing children the following phrase was repeated in a deep, raspy voice, JEB WANTS W-WADE, T-TAMMY, S-SANDRA, B-BERNIE. JEB WILL GET WADE, TAMMY, SANDRA, BERNIE. JEB NOW HAS WADE, TAMMY, SANDRA, BERNIE!

It was as if the remaining four were mesmerized by what they were hearing on the tape. After realizing that the letters given to them by the spirit were actually a four of their first initials, and listening what she was hearing repeated on the tape, Tammy slammed on the breaks bringing the vehicle to a screetching stop on the railroad track. Tammy looked at Sandra and screamed, �you knew�. Just As these words left Tammy�s mouth a train plowed into the rusty green Buick, pushing and mangling the car for at least a mile before coming to a stop.

The final four, Tammy, Sandra, Bernie and Wade, are now with JEB. JEB always gets what he wants, just ask him and he�ll tell you.

[Edited on 31-10-2003 by John bull 1]

Congratulations Curiousone. I must have good taste cause I picked your story anyway

What story did Mrs. Bull like, JB1? Let me guess ... it was mine, right?

Again, well done Curiousone!

I got confused here because I replied in ChitChat, and then saw this Topic with only ktprktpr's response, and thought I must have been transported suddenly to the Village Of The Banned when my own response was not here.

Such is Halloween, in Above Top Secret and Below Top Secret. How much more deeply symbolic can you get.

Mrs Bull liked Valhall's story.

And I'm going to have to buy chocolates tomorrow to make up if she is speaking to me.

I was hard pushed to choose between 6 of them.But I'm not going down the road of saying which six.

Well, Curiousone, I don't get to gyrate in your honor on this side of the world.

but...CONGRATS AGAIN!

Congratulations Curiousone! And congratulations to everyone who entered, there were alot of really good stories submitted.

WTG Curiousone....and well written and told!
I would agree also, that there were many good stories written.....shame we could not have recanted these around a large bonfire with some good ale supplied by MA......................


regards
seekerof

First of all...kudos to ya Curiousone...I LIKE IT. Second of all...I thought the contest had to do with the collaboration fiction forum...sob..sorry. Anyhoo...what does everyone think about my work on the story "24 hours in Swayspeak"? I know it's a little outlandish...but...I'm building a rather cool plot and wish that more people would collaborate. I kinda got carried away...but...the plot is really cool I think. It's the end of the world...well...at least the end of Swayspeak with Hell taking over...hehe...any input would be greatly appreciated.

Many Congrats Curiousone!
Excellent Story!

Good job, Muy Bien!


Mark

Curiousone i liked your story a lot but i object to the results of the contest. The rules said all entries had to be in before halloween. Curiousone submited his on halloween day. Nothing against you Curiousone, i thought you wrote the best story.

As many of you may have been able to tell , I submitted my story halloween day at the last minute. Thats why poor Wiiliam had to die. I didnt read that much into the time limit I just though when ever Jb1 decided to read them.

Mark

Congrats Curiousone !!
I love this story as well. I look forward to the next competition.

Wow, I am so honored to have won. I had family over all weekend and today was the first time I had a chance to check the results. Thanks so much for the many compliments, I'm still shocked as there were so many good stories submitted.

I'm not sure who said that I posted my story on 10/31 but just for the record it was actually submitted long before the 31st. In fact I think it was either the second or third story posted.

Wow, thanks again. And again for the record I'm actually a she.....lol

[Edited on 2-11-2003 by Curiousone]