The beggining to a succesful relationship!!!, page 1

I wanted to share some good advice for us single folks who are looking for love and happiness. I've seen some advice being spread around that is only about the surface but never about the inner person that we really have to deal with when we are in a relationship. So I will kind of split this up a little bit by women, men and just general advice.

MEN: THERE'S MUCH MORE THAN THE SURFACE
Men, we are more easily stimulated by what we see than women are. We have to get out of the thought process that everything we need in a women can be determined by when we first lay eyes on them and give them a body scan. When you desire to find the love of your life you really can't go by looks alone because looks don't last forever. The person inside however doesn't go away when you want them to. The outer looks can easily blind us from what really matters.

WOMEN: EVERY MAN IS NOT THE SAME
Women if you want a man that's not like every man then you can't keep putting every man you see into the "every man" category. Women get the worst advice about men from the same source--other women. You can't expect to find a good man when you are seeking to find out what category he fits in, instead of just trying to get to know him. Believe it or not there are men in this world who still believe in waiting for the right girl and treating women with respect. FYI--You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother.

GENERAL: STOP LOOKING FOR A HUMAN TO COMPLETE YOU!
This is where the spirituality in a relationship really matters. So many people are caught up in this search for THE relationship that will set all their stars in line, fix all their problems, and make them happy for the rest of their lives. People have fallen into the false ideas that they need a soul mate to complete their soul and to make their whole lives complete.

The problem with this is that while these folks are thinking like this God is trying to get their attention like "Hello, I'm right here. I want to fix your problems and give you everything you need. I can give you joy and peace even when you're single. All you got to do is ask. Can you hear me?" The problem with trying to find a human to complete you is that you take God out of the equation.

This where we get it all backwards. Instead of trying to find some-one to complete our souls we need to get in touch with THE One to complete our souls so He can send us someone. Then instead of them completing you, they will actually become someone that you will be in tune with no matter how good or bad your days are.

GENERAL: STOP WANTING WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE
How many movies have you seen where the guy and the girl are supposed to hook up but the girl is with somebody else but somehow it all works out at the end? Too often. Don't let this idea spark in your head that you got a soul mate but they are with somebody else. God is not going to respond to your prayers of getting those two broken up so that you can be complete. God's economy does not work that way. He doesn't have to take something from someone else to bless you.

GENERAL: BEWARE OF THE CLING-ONS!
Watch out for clingy people. Not just because they can be annoying but also because there's a deeper reason why folks are clingy. The reason why folks are clingy to humans is because they don't cling on to God. That sense of thinking that the only love we can accomplish is human to human doesn't fulfill our souls need to feel and appreciate God's love for us. One of the worst things to see is when two clingy people get together. They cling on to each other and never let go, not even to reach a hand up to God.
And what's worst is that these people will "validate" the false idea that says that all you need is each other. Where is God in that kind of thinking?

The most profound idea about being so attached to another person the idea of idolizing another person more than God. The reason why folks idolize other people and worship other gods (money, sex, power, anger) is because they can manipulate them. This was evident throughout the Bible in fact it's one of the Ten Commandments. People nowadays worship relationships and dating because they don't hope to gain love, they want to hang onto someone they can manipulate.

The reason why so many people give up on God is because they can't manipulate Him. They can't make God be who they want Him to be so they replace that with a god they can manipulate.
They'll worship anything that will allow them to be themselves but in order to worship God, He desires to change you.

So consider these thoughts today as a opportunity to break free from the bad advice that movies, TV, and radio says about dating because none of these sources can tell you about what your specific relationship needs and How God is truly involved.
Instead of praying for a new mate, pray that God will prepare you for whoever He has in store for you because a real loving relationship really needs God to make you feel happy, healthy and whole. When you seek the right relationship first all the other relationships will fall into place.

What is real love?

3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
1 Corinthians 13:4-10 (The Message)

Peace&Love
JC

P.S. My friend wrote this just thought I would spread his words.

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Mod edit, Please try not to post tites in all caps, thanks

[edit on 13-7-2006 by asala]