Breaking Up Isn't Easy

I broke up with my girlfriend three weeks ago today. I had been with her for two and a half years, since I was 16. Anyway the first week was really boring and depressing, however this last week has been much better, my girlfriend and I were extremely close and I find it hard without her, but I think it would help me to get with someone new, I've been tempted to chat up numerous ladies (London ladies are fine!), but that would be rather selfish, would it not? Most people I talk to tell me to find a someone new, what do you think?

I think I will just see how things go and try to get to know some new people, but I am rather lonely after two and a half years of companionship.

Any advice is welcome.

Feel free to share your own experience.

in my own experience ............

rebound relationships REALLY get messy, especially when the other person finds out they are the rebound.

You proably need some time by yourself to recover from the breakup and learn to be happy by yourself .

was the split amicable?

Breaking up is hard,
3 weeks is still really early, My advice to you would just be spend a little time on your own with friends
get out there and enjoy being single for a while

date a little and just have some fun...

BAh!

Breaking up is a sinch.

I'll tell you what isn't easy.

Fistin' Aint Easy!

The split was mutual, but she is off to University 100 miles away, and I am back at home. I have spent a lot of time with friends, but only really find that talking to females is beneficial, boys/men don't tend to be as open or honest, probably because they have been hurt in the past and this combined with pride, makes men just not want to talk about it and forget. Which makes it harder for me to talk with my mainly male friends. Girls are more understanding.

I am finding I could be happy myself, but I do miss her and it is early days. Other problem is that we agreed to be good friends and still talk daily, this constant reminder makes things a little more difficult and complicated.

Darage, when you fall in love you will know what I am talking about, until then, enjoy your innocence. Or are you one that has been hurt and wants to forget?

Listen, what was the use to break up with this one if the withdrawal pains are so bad, and then jump into another one? Might as well have stayed with girl number one.

Relax a bit, become one with yourself, enjoy doing things alone again, and then after you are comfortable with you by yourself, then you might be ready to jump into a potentially neurosis-inducing, bank account draining relationship again. Heck, if you're really lucky, you might fall into a psychosis-inducing, life-destroying marriage! Won't that be wonderful?!?

Just remember, no matter how darned good looking she is, somewhere in this world is a man who is sick and tired of her crap!!

ahh i suppose its real easy for us all just to talk...
but the end of the day you are feeling it.
only you can no whats good for you....
have you tried telling her how you are feeling.?

have you any other friends which are girls that could help you ?

it will get easyer as time goes on.


Thomas Crowne....
do you even like us women???
were not all evil lol
money has never been an issue in my relationships.....
im a strong inderpendant women who stands on my own two feet
wow have you had alot of bad experiences???





[Edited on 19-10-2003 by asala]

I've never really had a girlfriend, so I wonder who's luckier or more unlucky. I mean I don't say I would be happier if I had had a girlfriend.

I'm the type that has been hurt in the past, wants to just let it drop and forget about it, and continue on with life and try to do what i believe living life is all about.

Having as much fun as possible before dying.

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Listen, what was the use to break up with this one if the withdrawal pains are so bad, and then jump into another one? Might as well have stayed with girl number one.

Relax a bit, become one with yourself, enjoy doing things alone again, and then after you are comfortable with you by yourself, then you might be ready to jump into a potentially neurosis-inducing, bank account draining relationship again. Heck, if you're really lucky, you might fall into a psychosis-inducing, life-destroying marriage! Won't that be wonderful?!?

Just remember, no matter how darned good looking she is, somewhere in this world is a man who is sick and tired of her crap!!

Unfortunately, top to bottom, TC's post it all too true. Been there-done that. Live a little first.
Asala, it has less to do with disliking women and more to do with having been in relationships with the wrong women.

Peace,
BG

Mate, the fact your still talking to her daily is making life much harder. You should have had a clean break no contact at all. Very very hard in the short term but much better in the long. Nothing stopping you still keeping in contact in the future but for now you both need time apart.

It's hard I know but you will get over it, trust me you will.

Ok. HEre's my advice to you.

Go see your friends, go out with them, get pissed, have fun going out with ur mates, go tot he beach, or something, clubbing, etc. Forget about ur Ex for a while.

Stop talking to her on a daily basis. Get away from her. Youve broken up. Sure u can stay in contact with her, but back away from her buddy, give her some space, and hope she'll give u space too.

Go out with ur friends to a club, check out some chicks, chat to some, start picking up, kissing other girls (that dont mean go out with them), Basically just go out with ur mates, have a blast, and try get ur Ex off ur mind. Do .5 hour of exercise each day too...maybe take up a sport. Helps get oyu into a better mood.

I don't even worry about women,the only reason that I would ever have anything to do with one again is to make kids,and it seems there are few out there that want to do that,after all,that is the purpose of the act and nothing more.
All other aspects of relationships seem to be oriented toward marketing of some sort or another.
-jewelry
-flowers
-eating out
-cars etc. to impress
-fancy clothes
-marriage licenses
-taxes for being married
-the cost of raising kids
The list could be endless,it seems to me that there is some parasite waiting to profit from everything one might want to do.
There are only three things one "must" do.
Be born,which is just a coincidence of the act of......
Have kids if that's what you want to do......
Die.
So,we come here without someone asking us if we want to be here beforehand.
We have kids and feed the parasites that are waiting.
We die,nobody tells us when or asks us if we want to,we just do.
Life is really quite simple.
It is all meaningless.
Don't worry about it.



[Edited on 19-10-2003 by uNBaLaNCeD]

Thanx for the advice people. All of you.

Unbalanced: I don't want to think of life as meaningless, and my relationship wasn't about money or material
sh!t, we had a great thing between us, but it was time for the relationship to end and for us both to live a little. I like ladies way too much too be celebate.



Darage you are right, except we don't have many beaches in London! But I have been going out, having a laugh and getting pissed, perhaps a bit too much, but it's all good! And you (+Britman) are also right about stopping talking to her all the time. Thats what I'm going do next. The exercise idea is good too, I've been thinking about that.




Niclas: It was worth it, I felt bad for the first 10 or so days, but I feel fine now, sure it's a bit lonely in bed on your own after waking up with someone everyday for 2 years, but I feel good at the moment. I'm enjoying having some freedom.





Asala: I just feel like I've been living in a bubble for the past 2 and half years and now it's popped and I'm in a new world. But I'm having a good time. When it's good, it's great, and when it's bad, I feel a bit lonely and sad, but I am normally optimistic and can cope quite easily now. Only the first week was actually difficult.




Thomas: I've made excellent progress forgetting and moving on in the last two weeks. Again my relationship wasn't about money. But I got quite fond of my girlfriends crap. Everyone has problems, and it's better to share them someone than hold the burden yourself.
My relationship had run it's course, we split at the right time. I know I haven't seen the worst of women yet, I am sure of that!




Thanx again everyone for the advice, anmd for listening. You've helped me take a few more steps in the right direction.