Agreement...An unrealistic expectation.

Why do we (myself included) feel so compelled to have others agree with our views here on ATS? We all have different perspectives, different opinions and different sources of origin. Some agree and some disagree with them. Why don't we just leave it that? Instead we have to post, post and post again in response to those that disagree, in attempt to prove to them that our way is the right way. Deep down I'm sure that the majority of us already know that no matter what we say, we are never going to get others to change their views and agree with us. With that in mind, what is the motivation behind this behaviour?

Are we trying to convert people? If so, why? Is it because our life is so much richer as a result of these views? Is it because we feel we have a duty to save them in some way? What will happen to those who do not agree with us? Are the consequences really so dire?

Do we just like the sound of our own voice? (or in this case, reading our own posts) What would we do if others did agree with us? We would be right, but have no excuse to post a reply. Is that what we want?

On the other side of the coin, why do we disagree with others? Is it really because we hold a different view, or simply because we can't bring ourselves to agree with somebody we have a personality clash with? Perhaps it's a combination of the two? Do we just disagree for the sake of disagreeing, in a similar fashion to an political party opposing the government?

We should all just come to terms with it and accept that some of us will never agree, no matter how convincing our argument, how many people support our idea or how much proof there is to support it. More importantly, we should accept that we don't all have to agree, we probably never will, and as a result we are not right and those that disagree are wrong, we just hold different views.

Ironically, this very thread may turn out to be a contradiction in itslef!

The first and most important ability is the ability to drop a theory once it's proven false". One of the things I notice with the folks who can't handle others not agreeing with them is their inability to let a false theory GO. It's like their "married to the theory" (props to "Valhall" for the saying). That's when lots of back and forth starts it seems. The person who is "married to the flawed theory" and can't seem to let it die simply must keep trying to get others to agree with them. It's the cause of much frustration for the folks who have proven the theory false or flawed. The blinders have to come off and we must be able to accept the fact that our theories are wrong. As the great thinkers unanimously agree, the first step in proving any new theory is trying to disprove it.

The second most important ability is to be able to "agree to disagree" with your fellow man/woman. This is a HUGE issue here and virtually everywhere Humans interact on an intellectual level.

Those who seem to be married to their theories are also usually incapable of agreeing to disagree. They seem to take their theories personally as if its some sort of blight upon their family escutcheon that a theory they thought up is wrong. The worst offenders are those who comport themselves with unwarranted arrogance. Man I can't count the times I've seen some poor slob who was all wet (totally wrong) pontificating to those who actually knew what they were speaking about with an arrogance Albert Einstein never presumed to punish us with!

The inability to agree to disagree is a constant source of angst and anger in many people's lives. It has ruined millions of marriages and partnerships in business.

GREAT THREAD TOPIC!

Springer...

[edit on 5-14-2006 by Springer]

It also seems that some members go searching through posts and threads for the sole reason of finding something that they can disagree with, even if that means going completely off-topic. Pointing out gramatical errors is an example that comes to mind. Perhaps the expectation of many threads is disagreement, regardless of the topic? If this is the case, you would be you're own worst enemy trying to convince others of your views and then being disappointed if you achieve this objective.