New Chemical Element

A Major Research Institution has recently annouced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element known to to science. The New Element has been tentatively named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons giving it a atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particals are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particals called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normaly take less then a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In Fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This Characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This Hypothetical quantity is refured to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.



Falcon

Theoretically speaking, how long does it take for this new element to collapse in on itself due to its own weight?








...I ask this because I'm still patiently waiting for America's supply to do so...