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SUBGENIUS UFO CULT PREPARES FOR END OF THE WORLD
CLEVELAND, Ohio, April 3, 2006: The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Thursday, June 29 to July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center.
a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
Originally posted by worldwatcher
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Thursday, June 29 to July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center.
Pity the poor human Earth Pink who comes looking for a SIMPLE, SHORT EXPLANATION of The Church of the SubGenius™, one that he or she can UNDERSTAND QUICKLY. If the Church could provide THAT, it would be bigger than Islam or Christianity by now -- and probably much, much worse.
A True SubGenius, however, understands EVERYTHING, INSTANTLY upon exposure to the Word or even just the Face of Dobbs.
The next step after reading the Sacred Pamphlets (links above) would be to procure THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and its companion volume, REVELATION X, from our shops, EBay, or better bookstores anywhere. (The feature-length video, ARISE!, will do in a pinch for illiterates.) There are samples of these masterpieces and other primal SubGenius liturgy in our CLASSICS section.
We also offer several SLAQs and FAQs from various SubGeniuses who, over the years, did their very best to explain the unexplainable.
The Church is seeking performers and producers from the adult entertainment industry in particular, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of pornography and adult entertainment, and certain parts of the event will be restricted to adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.