Simple skills you lack

No matter how hard I try I can not wrap a present...

I also can not dance.....

nun chuck skills
bow hunting skills
computer hacking skills

Small talk...

I just can't handle this aspect of socialization.

Too often I speak to people like they are computers with a similar knowledge set to me.

I am like "here is your input - what is the output? - now Now NOW!??"

It does not serve me well from a pure political standpoint.

:bnghd:

Napoleon Dynamite was such an awesome movie... weird, but cool.

Small talk is also my downfall. I end up just not talking to people knowing that Im going to have to pull conversation out of my... And you can tell which people you will have to engage in this activity with; so I just avoid them.
Bah! Smalltalk is essential though.

Wake up early, I try, I really do, but I stand up, sway a bit, then collapse back on my bed and fall into a semi-sleep state where I groggily swear at anyone who tries and wakes me up.

Also, opening tins with a tin opener. I can do it with a claw hammer no problem though, whack it in and rip.

Cooking, definitely. I can make typical bachelor chow, breakfast, sandwiches, and that's about it. When I got married, I made sure she could cook and would enjoy it, because I would kill us with my horrible food if we relied on it! lol...

BTW, small talk is cake once you realize most people LOVE to talk about themselves. Just ask 'em a question and watch 'em go!

Spelling mine really sucks!


And DIY??? i just cant get it right, lol I get bored of reading the instructions and try doing it myself, Never works, lol



(edited for spelling)

[edit on 9-3-2006 by asala]

Damocles357,

My biggest problem with Small talk is the utter inanity of it...

I actually don't mind if we can get to the meat of what a person is all about - but the mindless chit chat and pleasantries it takes to get there makes me want to avoid talking to them all together.

And this is particularly the case when it comes to talking to women - with whom I already only have a subset of simiar intrests usually anyways.

With guys I just rudely change the subject to something more interesting - and they rarely object.

I'm 32 and I STILL have to think about which side is "left and right" -

I physically have to hold out my hands and think to my self "left, right" to tell someone else which side something's on. Does that make me stupid?

I also can't tie the handles of a plastic grocery bag together with the intention of opening it back up later - I can either set the bag in the back of the car un-tied and know everything is going to roll out on the floor on the way home, or I can tie them together and know that I'm going to have to rip the bag apart when I get home - Now my boyfriend (and almost everyone else) does something with their fingers where they can tie them together in the blink of a eye, and when they get home, they can open this knot just as fast as they tied it and the bag is still intact - I've asked (even though it's embarassing to admit I don't 'get it') him how he does it - and he looks at me like it should be as natural as breathing! I just don't get it! He tried to teach me, but I still can't get it - it either falls apart or I can't get it undone.

[edit on 3/16/06 by paulthefourth]

Understanding the concept of the Hebraic/Christian God, and reconciling it with the world I observe around me.

I lack phone skills. I hate phones.

I like my phone conversions short like "Hello, question, answer, bye!". Some people think it's rude. I'm unskilled with phones. They like calling me and the first thing they ask is what I'm doing, none of their business what I'm doing. I know it's just a conversation starter, but it's really intrusive, they might as well ask me what I'm wearing, what the hell!

I do the left/right hand thing also.

I can't understand jokes without lots of hard thinking.

I can't put mascara on without having my mouth wide open.

In general I can't eat my dinner without dropping it all down my front

I have got a double jointed thumb though so I think this makes up for any shortcomings

typering scilz

Originally posted by thereddragon
I do the left/right hand thing also.

I can't understand jokes without lots of hard thinking.

I can't put mascara on without having my mouth wide open.

In general I can't eat my dinner without dropping it all down my front

I have got a double jointed thumb though so I think this makes up for any shortcomings

We must be twins, except for the double jointed thumb thing.

I also can't tell left from right without holding my writing hand up and knowing thats the right hand.

The mascara thing, that made me laugh, I totally do that.

However I only drop food all down my front if I'm wearing white. It never fails, I put on a white shirt and 5 minutes later I spill something all over it.

Touch typing. 10 years in the tech industry, and I have to look at the keyboard every time to type.

The mascara bit made me laugh, too!
And I close my eyes when I brush my teeth...although it isn't a lacking skill, it is still funny.

Here's a real quirky one: I can't fill glasses to the top. Either they are splashed over, or I stop an inch from the top.

Well, I guess I do have a few.


- I can't use a hand can-opener.
- I can't swim.
- I cant type fast and acurately without looking at the keyboard.


Oh, and I could'nt tie my shoes until I was 12, I still to this day prefer slip on shoes as well.

Originally posted by thereddragon


I can't put mascara on without having my mouth wide open.

Me either - but there is method in the madness! Opening your mouth makes your eyes stay open long enough for the mascara to dry so you dont get makrs all down your cheeks when you blink!

Uh lets see now...

- HTML programming
- Opening beer bottles with my teeth
- Pretending that I'm into an ugly chick
- ability to see cream style corn as a food product fit for humans

Being newly single after being married all my life I cant.......

cook....every meal is an adventure

do laundry...just cant figure it out, I pay someone to do it

I also make TC look like a computer geek....I have to have my kids do everything to it

that left/right thing gets me too


i have the inability to walk past a neon beer sign without going inside and drinking. odd but true.

there has to be someone out there who CAN use a hand-crank can opener! don't there?:shk: