Parents of child athletes... READ THIS!

Alright, quick background of myself. I am 20 years old, I have coached an elite baseball team in my area for 4 years now. I have played my whole life, when I finished I began coaching. With this team I have travelled to Ontario, Quebec and British Columbia to compete in national tournaments. I coach a minor hockey team in the winters which I have coached for 3 years now. This is more of a local league and only travel throughout the province.

I work full time, 40 hours a week. I am a university student where I take 3 courses a cemester so I can continue to work. With these two undertakings I also volounteer all of this time to provide for children in my area for these sports. It is not something I get paid for, most times it is to my own expense. And battling with a severe ATS addiction, you can understand how much free time I have for myself.

My rant starts here.. I am so sick and tired of mommies and daddies who think their kid is the name Gretzy, Lemeuix or the next Babe Ruth. Both teams that I coach are rep teams, it is supposed to be fun, but it is a league that is competitive and elite. I am extremely fair and normally allow everybody to play, this is what normally bites me in the ass. In the rare situation where I cut it down to certain guys in the crunch, I have the daddies coming after me.

I have been assaulted by a father and grandfather once, been threatened to be killed. Have wrote letters to Hockey Canada before about this and had the guy banned from every rink in Canada. Did not pursue criminal charges against the advice of the league.

I wish parents would understand the time and effort these volounteers give. I coach teams that have no link to myself. No kids, no brothers or sisters on the team, all strangers. And yet I can be treated so terribly. 99% of the time the kids are always happy and never have a bad word to say, but certain parents saying my little johnny did not get to play as much as this EXPLICIT LANGUAGE .

To top it all off, I also volounteer my time as a minor hockey official. I reff alot of competitive hockey in my area, which is absolutely crazy at times.

If you are a parent with a kid in a sport, please respect the coaches and officials. If you are one of these officials, post your name here for a WATS vote because you deserve it.

Anyways this is my rant, I just came from the rink where I was seconds away from rolling around the floor with a parent because I sent his kid home for telling me to F off.

When I played sports, If i ever opened my mouth like that to a coach I would never lace the skates up again. But for some reason, kids today their word counts more than these evil coaches who have nothing better to do than get in the way of my baby making it to the pro's.

I agree with you 100%.

I take my daughter to soccer games, and every time I drop her off, I hear someone either "sweet talking" or "ball bashing" the coach about their kid. Either they can't play because of such and such an illness, or they are better than the average kid and need to be off the bench all the time.

Believe it or not, it is almost the same way with Gril Scouts. There are meglomaniac Moms who think their little Suzie Gumdrop is the ONLY kid in the tri-state area who can sell cookies...

...but I digress.

I agree...give those coaches a break!

Exactly it doesn't matter what it is. They are ALWAYS in direct competition with the neighbours kids. I hate it. Why can't it being about fun, or in some instances be willing to make the sacrifice for the benefit of the team.

I coach an elite team, if you score 3 goals and we lose 4-3, thats alot better then not scoring in a 2-0 win. Its a sad story. I reffed a game the other day, and the winner was going to compete in the provincial championship. In the USA this would be the equivalent to a State championship.

During the 2nd period, a fight broke out in the stands between 2 fathers causing them both to be ejected and arrested.

The picture below is a great picture, alittle small but try to read the names on the backs.

Meal Ticket, Daddys Dream I Think it says & the Reff is Scapegoat for all the problems.

Sorry.

Can't read them. Can you tell me what it says?

Yeah its too small, and I can not find a larger one.

Basically the two young boys jerseys say, Meal Ticket while the other one, I believe says, Daddys Dream. While the referee is labeled as Scapegoat

Deffinately a great image in regards to minor hockey and in relation to the parents. There are hockey players, coaches, refs, fans and then Parents.

I hope some more people take a look at this thread and feed some input. It is a major issue in todays society and I would love to see it addressed by some of the great minds on ATS.

I am sure we have all experienced this in one way or another, be it direct or indirect.

I hear you man...

I am asumng you coach relatively young kids?

In any case, it's really a no win situation.

I've coached football, baseball, soccer, and lacrosse. Mostly in the 11-14 year old range (though I have assisted with 18 year olds). Every time, there is some parent who thinks their kid is Joe Montana!


Personally, I think at young ge groups, you need to play kids an equal amount of time... And like you said, if it's close in the closing minutes, you play the best players.

I've helped coach HS teams before, and that's completely different, at least in my eyes. Coaches at this level are coaching for their jobs, particularly with private schools handing out scholarships.

At that level, you play to win.

I actually had to get in a fathers face once because he thought his son was the next Gait brother (for those who don't know, the Gait brothers were twins who were the equal of Gretzky or Pele in lacrosse), and he refused to see his son not start in a state championship... Even though there was an All American player starting ahead of him.

Coaching young kids these days has become very VERY hard.

I agree too chiss. I coach little league baseball but I've remained relatively unscathed as far as parents having meltdowns about their kids not getting enough PT. I'm not trying to sound like Billy Badass or anyone but I'm a pretty big guy and that might have something to do with it. Whatever the reason is, as long as it keeps my stress level down and keeps it fun for the kids, that's all I care about.

I'll tell you what I do see a lot that does chap my behind is fathers bringing their young sons to the golf course thinking they have the next Tiger Woods on their hands. Most of the kids don't give two craps about golf judging by their attitude, but like you said the father sees a potential meal ticket and is blind to the reality that all his kid is ever going to be is a degenerate slacker.

Peace

For hockey I coach kids that are 13 and 14 years old, and for baseball I coach kids are are 15 and 16. I also coach the High school team here as well. I spend countless days of the year on the playing field, and I like to think I know the games well but am also very fair.

I have read in the passed of an actual murder in the hockey rink over a game where the kids I believe were about 8. A sour father living his glory days through the poor child is one of the worst crimes a parent can commit.

I have coached a few kids that were out to have a good time, and hated the game due to an agressive parent. Parent come screaming why did my boy not play, well sir have you talked to him? He tells me to leave him out so he does not have to address you afterwards why he struck out looking or why he fumbled that ground ball.

Maybe sir the problem is with you, and not me? Why is it that kids can come to the coach and talk about this, but not you sir?

I have normally sent letters to our local paper when situations like this arise, and it is all to common. Something has to be done with this, as it is not this little problem that will not go away.

Years ago bullying was very common in schools, now it is a matter that is highly regarded and not tolerated. Problem is today, the bullying is happening at home.

Whats really sad about things like this is that when these little kids see their parents being all pushy, controlling and bullying to their coaches or other people, they think that they can treat people like that as well.

Kind of ironic that I watched a Law and Order about this last night. I own season 3 of Law n Order on dvd and watching it last night it was about an attack on a tennis player, alls she wanted to do was quit.. but her father wanted her to be the best.

I fell asleep before the end of it however it was evident that the father was probably to blame for it.

Its unfortunate that this will remain such a one sided argument, because if their are any members of ATS who can be grouped into this crowd.. they would never consider themselves and probably would speak out against it.

They never understand how they come off, their primary focus is only on their child.

This is one of the biggest reasons I am so disappointed with the parents in my area, the problems that arise from their nonsence, and I don't even coach a son, daughter, nephew, cousin anything. I have no relation to any of the children on the team.

Its just something I love to do, but the couch quarterbacks in the stands fail to see the time and effort that is required to take on this responsibility.

The shame of it is that there so much good that can come out of athletics for kids if the parents would just allow it to happen. At young ages, hard work and practice pay off pretty quickly which is a wonderful lesson to learn. Also can build self esteem and maturity. Also teaches one how to deal with losing.

What I try to remember and what I advise you to do is to remember how important coaches are to kids. I really looked up to my coaches, I thought the world of them, and I still consider them my heroes. In fact, I think a good coach can actually have a stronger influence over a child, especially a teen, than a parent particullarly because the coach influences the child's social environment (the team) as well. be a good role model for them and I believe that you will be making a real and positive influence on the world.

Twice this week alone I have been approached by a parent of the hockey team I coach with ignorant complaints.

This year has been a up and down one for our hockey team, I work full time along with a full time university student.. My father also coaches with me who is president of the union he works for, who has been through a strike these last few months.

So unfortunately we missed some time this year, due to unexpected circumstances. Now we always made sure somebody was their with the kids, we took on another coach this year to assure everything rolled smoothly with them. But these parents think that everthing else has to be second to this hockey team. I mean I love to coach, I would do anything for these kids.. but I can not lose my job over it.

Quoting a parent from last night.. he told me I need to figure out where my priorities lie. As if I should drop out of school and give up my job so I can assure myself of being their with the children. My blood was boiling and I just had to come home, on Wednesday I am leaving for a week long trip with the team. I can not wait to see what comes of a week in a hotel with these people.

Originally posted by chissler

Quoting a parent from last night.. he told me I need to figure out where my priorities lie. As if I should drop out of school and give up my job so I can assure myself of being their with the children. My blood was boiling and I just had to come home, on Wednesday I am leaving for a week long trip with the team. I can not wait to see what comes of a week in a hotel with these people.

I can't believe that guy said that to you! Thats kind of the society we live in though, everyone seems to feel like their agenda is more important than everyone else's agenda. Like he would have given up his job and dropped out of school for a team he was coaching.

Is this a volunteer/community coaching thing? If so he should be happy his kid's team even has a coach. A lot of community sports leagus are short coaches and referees.

Best of luck on that trip. You'll have to tell us how it goes.

Yeah the trip is still a few days away.. Personally I am dreading it but its my responsibility to the kids.

I am still gritting my teeth over this comment by the parents, needing to straighten out my priorities. :bnghd:

Is this a volunteer/community coaching thing?

100% volounteer... this week on the roadtrip is completely at my own expense.. not to mention the hours of work I am going to miss. As a full time student as well, you can just imagine what I am sacrificing to make myself available for this trip.

Originally posted by chissler
100% volounteer... this week on the roadtrip is completely at my own expense.. not to mention the hours of work I am going to miss. As a full time student as well, you can just imagine what I am sacrificing to make myself available for this trip.

Wow, well like I said these complaining parents should feel lucky that their team even has a coach and appreciate what you are doing for the kids and what you are willing to sacrifice for them.

I am a huge Sports Illustrated fan, read it weekly and been a subscriber for awhile. Read this article by Jay Mohr online yesterday. Sickened me.

sportsillustrated.cnn.com... mohr.sports/index.html

part of the story..
My godson sat out the rest of the game, because another pansy rule in some Little Leagues these days is that everyone has to play at least two innings. The nerve! When I was a child, if a kid stunk at baseball he was relegated to manager or deep, deep left field. Sometimes if a kid wasn't good at baseball, HE DIDN'T GO OUT FOR THE TEAM! Not today, folks. Today we have a field full of kids whose parents can't admit that their child doesn't want to be there. Instead of having their kids play soccer, they shove their "one, two, three strikes and you're out" kids onto Little League fields all over the country.

Read this story of his grandson playing little league and how mad he was over the fact he sat out a few innings so another child had the chance to play.

I could not believe SI posted this story.

Have a read and post your comments.

If you agree, please say so because I would love someone to step up and say so. Really make for a good discussion

Oh God, just because a kid isn't very good doesn't mean that they don't want to be there. Maybe they want to try and learn how to get better at the sport. Maybe parents want to encourage their kids in sports so that they are active and so that they can get more excersize.

This is little league not professional sports. People are taking it way too seriously, they are kids, not professional ball players. With kids it should be about having fun, learning, making friends and being active. Not about winning.

Yo chissler, I totally agree man

Alot of these parents flip the hell out, I've never coached or anything, but I've played baseball all my life and seen it year after year....parents gone wild. It's crazy man.

Just keep doing what you're doing and remember that it's about the kids having fun...that's all that counts. Anyways, parents, especially fathers should'nt be doing crap like that in front of thier sons.....not cool.

I am 20 years old, I have coached an elite baseball team in my area for 4 years now

chiss, you lost me here......you are from Canada, right?

Later
Sporty

Yep, Eastern Canada.

I coach at the Senior Little League level which is 15, 16.

Word Series is held in Bangor, Maine in recent years I believe.

chissler, that was a joke....I was taking cheap shots how Canadians suck at baseball