A question to find what makes me so unattractive, that is if most girls aren't shallow

Do girls factor in what kind of music you listen to? (I am speaking in generalities here). This is crucial in ending the unrelenting lonelyness that plagues my life like so many locust on an crop.

[edit on 2/25/2006 by Vicious Reddragon]

[edit on 2/25/2006 by Vicious Reddragon]

I don't. I like Showtunes, some country, and hip-hop, but my husband is into classic rock.

Music does not a couple make.

Personality, intelligence, and socioeconomic factors generaly play into it, but music really isn't.

I'm sure there is a girl out there that appeciates the kind of music you do.

What is it, by the way?

Thrash metal. I live in a small place. I am one of the only 2 people in a 20 mile area that listens to it. I was just wondering if it could break a chance. But I really do feel that there is no one out there. It has plagued me for my entire existence.

[edit on 2/25/2006 by Vicious Reddragon]

Some girls dont like some music some others dont care what music you listen to can you tell us have you been dateing ever tryed to ..

Do you have good self esteem, presonailty, heart, thougths

thos are all inportant in finding and keeping a realsion ship and honesty please be honest and sincer please tell me abit about you ?

And i love the pic its cool

[edit on 25-2-2006 by Vash]

Thrash metal is a difficult genre to listen to an appreciate of you have never listened to it before. Have you been to a thrash concert? Aren't there girls there? Or are they all...too odd for your liking?

How old are you? You sound pretty young.

My self-esteem is dangerously low, but that is because if I have any, that will usually reduce my modesty to nothing. And the few people who don't despise the mere sight of me have really hurt how others think of me. It is a vicious cycle. It has led me to the belief that love is nothing more that one persons pheromones affecting another. Am I right, of is this the foolish ranting of a teenager who finds it difficult to live in this world by being a self-conflict. BTW, I am 15 and the place I live couldn't even support a concert of any kind.

[edit on 2/25/2006 by Vicious Reddragon]

your still young you will find in your years that gilrs will come to liek you you just have to have patince and wait for it but it will come some time

concntrate on school frist its more inportant then girls and stuff like that i dident date any one hardly in school ^^

I already do as I am told in school. I have never had that feeling that so many experience and say that sends them to Nirvana, and humans basic way is curiousity. I would like to think that I am very mature for my age, even though some of my hobbies are quite childish, (Video games and japanese animation are now my world and forever will be) I can find no significant other with the same way. spinning me into pariahism and depression. Anyway, see you later.

[edit on 2/25/2006 by Vicious Reddragon]

Dude, everyone is awkward with low self esteem at 15. That's what makes you a pimp-daddy at 20. You need to go through tough stuff because it makes you a stronger person in the long run.

By the way, self confidence drives the ladies crazy. I'd recomend putting less emphasis on making girls like you, and concentrate on liking yourself. That way it doesn't matter if girls like you or not.

I remember going to my 5 year reunion and talking to my old English teacher. He told me that he used to hear from girls in the class chattering about me once in a while. Turns out they had such low self esteem that they were afraid of me. And being the dork that I was, I was probably more afraid of them.

The teenage years are very very strange ones, so ride it out, and learn from them.

Don't sweat it man, chances are we will never find someone who will fit your idea of the perfect woman. Look at me for example, ive got long hair (past my shoulders), a beard, I listen to death metal (disgorge, iniquity, morbid angel) and I wear gruesome tshirts, black pants, combat boots....but if you talked with me on the phone you probably wouldn't even think I liked the kind of music I do, im just so damn nice! It is literally impossible to find a woman who is into death metal but is also "stable" in the head.

Best thing for you to do is not worry about what the perfect woman is, but to worry about yourself and have self confidence in yourself...like they said above..the ladies like confidence! I understand it may be hard to talk with girls or to approach them...but you can always use my method and just not talk to girls alltogether because any girl under the age of 18 sucks anyway! Hah!

Concentrate on something you enjoy and pursue it, don't worry about the opposite sex..the only thing that matters in this world is yourself! A good confidence builder is to find a hobby and get extremely good at it. Also, ladies like the guitar...but then again they're idea of guitar is some dude plucking chords over and over and singing and crap...dont expect to get any girls if you play technical death metal...because they just don't like it!

Best of luck to yah!

One last thing...if the girl doesn't like you for who you are...YOU DON'T NEED HER!

- ASSASSIN651

[edit on 2/26/2006 by ASSASSIN651]

I think the self esteem vibe is the main thing women pick up on. Just don't be arrogant.

The problem for me is that it is hard for me to see the line between confidence and arrogance. Most girls, including the ones here, say that they want a smart guy, I am pretty much the smartest kid around, but they keep dating the idiots. Besides, this wasn't just for now, but for the rest of my life. I want to find if there are certain things that set off all women.

Mostly women are different. I don't think there is a set of guidelines, but I will try. Don't expect sex, ever. Don't be to needed. Threat her with respect you should be fine.

I am basically the only one who treats them with respect. I am the only one who does the small things that I do not think are worthy of their time. But, I guess only time will hold the true answer to my on personal question. So the subject holds no more true relevence. So thank you everyone for your help, thoughts, and opinions.

Self confidence is key. You have to be comfortable with yourself before meeting folk. Here's a bit of advice. If your funny, then it's half the battle. When I was your age, I could make girls laugh by telling silly jokes or bad impersonations. The thing you can take from this, is that they probebly have as much self-esteem as you. Just be yourself, and girls will dig that.

What I think goes unrecognized by most is that chicks do not base their attraction on what they think, but by nature, what they *feel* about the guy...and often they don't understand it anymore then anyone else at such young ages as you are-even through her 20's and some...damn...even longer than that!

A girl can say she wannts a smart guy, a caring guy, a thoughtful guy etc...but if a guy that is all of thsoe things doesn't make her *feel* something...it's a no-go situation...so my best advice is echoing much of what you've heard here...

relax and give in to your development...enjoy your tastes in music and what it makes YOU *feel* and think when listening...enjoy your games and art-it may one day lead to a career...develop your self...your self esteem and confidence of who you are and how you think and know the ones that don't appreciate you for that...for who you are...aren't worse chasing and performing in ways to "earn" their attention or affection....no one is and you will never enjoy a relationship yourself, gaining it that way.

it's offering yourself to be used until someone else comes along making her *feel* something naturally.

Want to develop how to make a girl *feel* something? Start by observing others...look at the guys who get the girls...do you ever see them chasing them and performing? Not likely. You will notice confidence, but not too much arrogance usually

Tthe difference you have difficulty with I read-well I will help you with that...confidence is a natural love for yourself knowing you are worthy of it from others, and knowing you have something to offer, projecting your confidence in respect to the value of others

... arrogance is feigned confidence, because you are affraid you might not be worthy...it is exaggerated self worth, often using the depreciating of others as a factor to bolster self worth

learn to love yourself-just the way you are-and you are still developing who that is, so learn to evolove...I can guarantee you, you are worth it.

Sounds like it's your confidence. I would suggest that you get out there and get some. Nail a fat girl to get your confidence up. You'll be surprised how much better you feel, and how much it helps. Just don't be scared. They can smell fear, and won't give you the time of day. Good luck, and always be safe and carry yourself like a gentleman.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself man. At 15 years old you should be having fun with your friends and not obcessing about being an expert with the other sex. All happens in its time.

Originally posted by Vicious Reddragon
The problem for me is that it is hard for me to see the line between confidence and arrogance. Most girls, including the ones here, say that they want a smart guy, I am pretty much the smartest kid around, but they keep dating the idiots.

You sound very much like my husband. He's really smart, gentle, sensitive, kind of a low self-esteem, respects women and he is concerned about that line between confidence and arrogance, too. When I read that, I was really surprised.

You sound like a very special person and will be a great catch for a very lucky woman one day.

About self-confidence and arrogance? You can't "act" confident. It comes across as arrogant. So if you aren't confident, you need some help in becoming so. It's not something that just happens or that you can pretend. And you may want to think about some outside help on that. (Books, counseling)

Because no matter what music you listen to, no matter what you look like, confidence is the number one attraction to a woman (or girl, in your case) If you have that, nothing else matters. (Well, you gotta take a bath every once in a while.)

My advice... Listen to think2much. Give yourself the same break you give everyone else. Remind yourself of the cool things about you. And relax.

Hi,

You are very articulate, you have nothing to worry about.

You may like to realise that like the music you like, you may not appeal to the mass markets, but this is no bad thing because the person who does enjoy you will appreciate your quality even more.

Remember that the music which appeals to the masses is usually shallow and empty, just like the people/images who appeal to the masses.

Just enjoy life, you may need to wait a while until the right partner comes along, but they will come and you will be appreciated.