Women who steal their man's food---

The problem with my bf is that he is a big guy and does lots of heavy weight lifting, so he is CONSTANTLY hungry. I eat maybe a fraction of what he does. I have to, or else I would be shopping for new clothes.

I always ask him if he wants some of mine, but usually he does not want any. I keep offering though, just in case.

PS: Glad to hear that you found yourself a good'un. Mine has his moments, but his is all right in my book.


[edit on 5-2-2006 by SurveyGirl]

Originally posted by orangetom1999

You posted:

"How can you love someone and being afraid of this person stealing... food from you??? If you really love this person, you should even like her to steal from you! You should give her everything you can. That's part of the pleasures of giving love to somebody, I think. I can't figure hwo some people can claim loving somebody and being possessive, egotistical with him/her. "

[edit on 3/2/06 by Echtelion]

I think your public schooling is showing here. People love lots of things which under close examination are not necessarily good for them.

The idea here is that you would like to be asked if they can take your food..also that this is not a career opportunity for you to keep them in your food. In otherwords..you constantly take second best ..or second or third fruits while being expected to provide first fruits, first best. Think it through!!
We sometimes used to call this ..basic civilities. Decency is another word for it.

I am not some womans "givens " to be taken for granted...as a career...this with some ..not all women ..leads to the next step or givens. I like to be asked.
I dont approve of this conduct among men either.

Thanks,
Orangetom

uhhh... I'd like to reply to that if I woould understand what you are talking about... In other words, I'm not sure you made you point clear. And yeah I've been through public education, just like most people in North America... but sorry I don't see the relation with my conception of love (actually I think there's none). Are you an Alien?

I still don't get what's the bid issue with your loved one taking food from you. Ever considered SHARING things with her??? How strange relationships become when we apply property values and concerns to it...

[edit on 5/2/06 by Echtelion]

Let me try this again...your public schooling entitlement mentality is definitely showing. Remember this key word..."entitlement".

Now that I have this out of the way...return to page one of this thread.
Alcor's post. The title is:

Women who "steal" their man's food..

It did not say ..share ..it says steal. Steal and share are not the same thing but in your public education you are wont to use them interchangably under the guise of "Love". They are not the same.

I am not against sharing...this implys decency ..civility. Usually with asking in mind. I dont walk up to someone and help myself to their car...whether I am going with or in some kind of a relationship with them. Food is no different. I take risks in my occupation ..with my life and physical presence. I build ships for a living as a machinist. My moneys are of value to me..considering the risks I must sometimes take to earn them. I dont appreciate a woman or anyone else taking them for granted ..like marking out territory..in a primordal manner. If they take my food for granted they will eventually take my moneys earned at great risk for granted..and eventually me for granted. It's not a difficult thing to think through.
Concerning taking my food...I would like to be asked. or be able to offer...not just take..understand..its called basic civilities. It is that simple.
I am not expendable or disposable for someone elses view of a relationship. Understand??? I am not adjustable or disposable for a womans view of how a relationship is supposed to be ..it is a two way street ..not one way operating on default settings to play through unquestioned. Understand???

Thanks,
Orangetom

EDIT:

Double post--- Sorry!

[edit on 2/5/2006 by Alcor]

Survey-- I know, I'm an incredibly lucky girl... Very well aware of it!... yet I am STILL taking his food all the time... It used to drive him crazy when we were just friends ((we've been really close friends for about a year)), but now he doesn't really seem to mind.


Orangetom-- Thank you! That's the whole point I've been trying to get across----------
If the two want to share some ice cream, that's just peachy fine. It's when she says she doesn't want any and then eats all of his--- That's what I'm talking about.

I get a raised fork and a growl if he does not feel inclined to let me steal from him. LOL.....I never do it seriously though, he is just so cute when he gets all riled up and possesive of his steak and whatnot.

Lucky for me I hate steak.

I never get the growl--- I either get the really cute, "Get the hell away from my food, you gorgeous girl," or I get, "Baby--- Are you SURE you don't want some?"

... But I gots me a good 'un...

Originally posted by orangetom1999
Let me try this again...your public schooling entitlement mentality is definitely showing. Remember this key word..."entitlement".

Now that I have this out of the way...return to page one of this thread.
Alcor's post. The title is:

Women who "steal" their man's food..

It did not say ..share ..it says steal. Steal and share are not the same thing but in your public education you are wont to use them interchangably under the guise of "Love". They are not the same.

I am not against sharing...this implys decency ..civility. Usually with asking in mind. I dont walk up to someone and help myself to their car...whether I am going with or in some kind of a relationship with them. Food is no different. I take risks in my occupation ..with my life and physical presence. I build ships for a living as a machinist. My moneys are of value to me..considering the risks I must sometimes take to earn them. I dont appreciate a woman or anyone else taking them for granted ..like marking out territory..in a primordal manner. If they take my food for granted they will eventually take my moneys earned at great risk for granted..and eventually me for granted. It's not a difficult thing to think through.
Concerning taking my food...I would like to be asked. or be able to offer...not just take..understand..its called basic civilities. It is that simple.
I am not expendable or disposable for someone elses view of a relationship. Understand??? I am not adjustable or disposable for a womans view of how a relationship is supposed to be ..it is a two way street ..not one way operating on default settings to play through unquestioned. Understand???

Thanks,
Orangetom

You're really funny, orange... and I'm not being sarcastic one bit.

The thing is that stealing actually comes from a lack of sharing. This is why I brought the idea of "sharing". If you don't share enough with someone you're supposed to be sharing with, then it's no wonder that this person could be "stealing" you at some point. Do not confuse individualism with property, as both are entirely different ideas... as it's not because you are sharing things together that you're necessarly stuck together with no more autonomy and self-esteem.

And you are NOT the things that you possess, wether it's food or anything else. The only way a women could be treating you like being expendable is by going out with other mens and also by not putting more value in you than these other mens. That, in this case, there would be good reasons to believe that this women is bad.

Note that I am not trying to wrong you, just to improve your conception of love, as yours seems to be somewhat misleading. Just think about my point, that's all. Possessivity is among the main things that breaks relationships, or just make them uglier on the long term.



[edit on 6/2/06 by Echtelion]

Good grief Echtelion....

What entitlement school system did you go to to get such brainwashing???

Stealing comes from not sharing???
You left out the part about "earning it" by a olde fashioned process called labor..working for it.

With working for it comes choices. Also responsibility..With stealing comes choices without responsibility. Wow...new and novel concept!!!

Read the title of the thread again. " Women who steal their mans food"

The relationship within which I had the most problems is my own brother. It too is a relationship. He lived with me free for a year before I finally kicked him out. He took my other car several times without asking. My gas cans in the garage. Ate my food.., used my electricity ., water , heat etc etc..never helped or paid...but he always had beer or pot. Talk about entitlement. When I told him he had to leave he was resentful as if I was doing him a injustice. What entitlement school did he go to also???
This is also a relationship ...understand?? Who shared and who didnt here??
Be very careful what you think is sharing and entitlement.

The women I see or choose to see are no different. Many have attempted to do exactly that..steer me to more entitlements.

I like to be asked for access to my stuff that I get with my labors...not someone with a entitlement mentality. or RPGs...role playing games. Once again ..I am not against sharing ..obviously ...I am against entitlements.

I dont take second fruits ..even from my own flesh and blood...much less a woman I am seeing in a relationship...when I am expected to deliver first fruits. It is that simple.

Dont worry ..most guys are the rescue me type and will take second best for a long time before catching on. Including "stealing" their food.
What a dumb bunch of men. Trying out for approval so hard they let the woman steal their food...while squatting and marking out her territory.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Echtelion,

You posted:

"And you are NOT the things that you possess, wether it's food or anything else. The only way a women could be treating you like being expendable is by going out with other mens and also by not putting more value in you than these other mens. That, in this case, there would be good reasons to believe that this women is bad. "


Think this through carefully..not from your one dimensional thinking but from another dimension...sometimes very difficult for us to do.

(1) NO we are not the things that we possess...but the things we posses are a result of what we are. Understand the difference???

(2) The only way a woman could treat you as expendable is not necessarily by going out with other men..there are lots of other ways having nothing to do with going out with other men.

This dawned on me yesterday about your posts.
You tend to be very implicit in your postings ...I tend to be quite explicit in mine ...the two approaches are not the same ..nor do they come from the same source of belief system. You are quite femminine/worldly in your approach in the implicitness.

Observe point (1) My sister in the first year she was married ...needed money. She took money/food from my brother in law's wallet without asking him. When he needed the money it wasnt there..and he hit the ceiling. Was this sharing. Did she deserve it ..a entitlement ...did she make him expendable and disposable withing he framework of a marriage relationship. How does this differ from what my own brother did to me for just over a year??? How does this differ from taking food of a mans plate without asking??? In or out of a relationship??? Stealing is not sharing.
What did she share???? Do you see how easy it is to go the next step in entitlements. Now mind you most men dont think of it much in this way. They think they must ,as a career, make themselves expendable and disposable to a woman as a career opportunity to prove their manhood or risk loosing her. You do not see women traditionally making themselves expendable and disposable for men or thier man in this manner as a career...Why is this??? Is equality and multitasking happening today or not...or are social roles a cover for inequality???? Can women be held to the same standard as men...in this??? Even the taking of food..or is there automatically owed to them a free pass to play through?? What you learn here if you are a man and a thinker..is that the male is not the hunter gatherer they like to think they are. Not hardly.
Be explicit here not implicit???

point (2) I have had women do this to me in a dating relationship...mostly due to my ignorance of how this implicitness works in the natural tendencey to go to the "next step" before one is even aware of it. These women even work for a living themselves and still tend to go to the next step ..implying that this is what you need to be doing in the name of a relationship. It sometimes ,depending on the caliber of the women, can be a quantum leap in expectations...raising the bar...before you know it you are out alot of time and moneys. You tend to find yourself doing doing doing and paying...for very little in return value. This was Dr Strangecraft's point in one of his well written posts. Why ..because one does not often think about ones real value in the marketplace and tend to sell ones self very short. As I have said..a very dumb bunch of men not to know this.
They tend not to make something explicit to these women in fear of losing them. The women work in the implicit....not the explicit. No where in this picture I have painted did it have anything to do with seeing another man...for her. There are lots of ways for a woman to make a man expendable and disposable for her and/or her childrens benefit..without seeing other men and without the man catching on ...but it all hinges on one thing...His ignorance of his real value in the marketplace in order to get him to walk willingly into it under the guise of unclear/implicit social roles and expectations.

Are all women like this..no they arent. But it happens more than most men are willing to admit. For many men it is a tremendous loss of face so they tend to be reluctant to admit thus. What a dumb bunch of men.

Now Echtelion...watch this post on this board...here in relationships. the board "money counts women listen up." Watch the implicitness here.

Its a mans fault for being a jerk.
You should know his bottom line..not hers What does he really have to offer...his bottom line. Never is it stated or offered ..what does she really have to offer outside of phat yams.. this is implicit not explicit. What is her real bottom line.
Never ask what her potential is .her financial status..only his..
What are her real diciplines in life...this poster only asks what are his.
If a man tends to not think this through and ask real down to earth questions of her status/potential..he is a jerk. As Think2much posted ..he deserves what he gets ..or in many cases..doesnt get. And I agree with Think2much on this.

This format "money counts..women listen up " comes right out of a Cosmopolitan or Elle quiz.
It is the textbook format for male disposability and expendability. It is also sometimes the textbook formula for " you deserve it the other women dont!!" Dont worry ..most men ..once you flash phat yams in front of them wont get it...not in a hundred years. This too is implicit in this format.

Then to top this off ....the questioning of ones masculinity to keep one on the treadmill and not think outside the blocks...offered. This is textbook and it is a religion ..with devout adherents. And it makes many of the points I was bringing up in the boards.."No finance no romance." and " Cash cows..women out for a mans money." It also makes clear some of Think2much's points in their board about Tostesterone.
I can take this further but this is sufficient for now.


Explicit... Echtelion ...not implicit.

Thanks,
Orangetom