I now wish I never wished to know...

...what it was like to be in love. Now I can feel the hurt of a broken heart. She was my first love, and my last for a long time...

All throughout high school, no girl ever payed much attention to me or what I said, unless they wanted the time. All I ever wanted was to know what it was like to have a girlfriend, to have someone special feel about you as you did about them.

I prayed and dreamt of a day just maybe I could have that same look in my eyes and that same smile. I guess I just didn't have what it took.

Then I met her. She was different, she liked me. For a while we went out, and I fell for her. I loved her so much. And not because she was the first, but because she was so wonderful. Then she breaks up with me. I grieved, and then got better, but the worst was yet to come.

She said she loved me, but who knows. I got better, but having to see her at work hurt. Then her boyfriend started coming around more and more, and all she can talk about is him. She started talking with him about a week after she broke up with me.

Now I have no one again, an all too familiar feeling. I now wish I never wanted this. Now all I have is my first broken heart. What a weird feeling it is. Seeing someone you loved, and loved you back, now somehow just another person. She is completely over it, and in fact, I don't think it phased her much to break up.

I miss that feeling, I miss her, I miss what I always wanted...

"And all that's left
of you and me,
is just a memory of
the way we used to be"
- Eric Carmen

All I can say is, Keep your Chin up and swallow the pain, move on and get a playstation !
:w: => Helps too !!

Lemons From Lemonade

Look on the bright side: this is the kind of stuff that leads people to write songs.

I say: harness that emotion.

Just find someone else to flirt with at work just to drive her crazy. It doesnt even have to be serious or anything just harmless flirting but if she sees you happy then shes gonna either move on herself or be jealous. I see both as positive results. I think shes talking non stop about her boyfriend cause she knows it bothers you.

I know that our drive to engage in intimacy with the opposite sex is instinctual, but can't we learn to block it out? We block out all of our other instincts anyway. Don't people realize how "love" messes with you? It totally distorts your logical view of the world (i.e.: I'll do anything for you, I'll die for you, etc.) You spend way too much time caring about getting that pleasurable high from being in love (it's like a drug, I swear) instead of spending it on more productive things. It also conditions you to conform to the expectations of your partner, thus inhibiting your ability to be the individual that you are.

love hurts - thats the way it is.

Quit bein a wussie. Women hate that. Women are a dime a dozen. They really do grow on trees. Do you drink?