Why is the word "eating" in "nauseating"?

I rise each morning tasting ash in my mouth, death in my eyes, pain in my heart, and black where I imagine my soul should be. Sick and tired, but not tired, but not sick... I'm sitting very uncomfortably content at alright... I like "alright"... been better been worse... it's a good reflecting point. I know I've been up and down... I was there... I don't remember it all, and sometimes didn't pay as close of attention as others... "Oh so-and-so was there with what-her-face, hmm didn't notice. Wait, weren't they broken then? Four years ago, I thought it was three... no I remember it was in the summer cause I was on holidays. Wasn't she flirting with everyone that night?" Hey, let's play a rousing game of Who Gives a Flying #... can't do, can't just let this lay... I don't care who was where and when or why... this is the HOW, and this is how it works: You can't be in a committed relationship and still flirt... that's not committing, it's committing adultery... more or less. If you are with him, pledge yourself to him... if not, then set him free, why not, you're acting like you're free, let him enjoy the same peace/piece. THINK HARDER AND MORE SERIOUSLY ABOUT THIS THAN ANYTHING ANYONE HAS EVER TOLD YOU... or don't. You aren't suicidal because you have a couple suicidally disturbed thoughts. You aren't a bad lover if you are still loving. You can't be a quitter until you quit. If every time you speak you rant and ramble off into pointless tangents and side bars, then my friends know your friend's pain. You're art is depressing... so #ing what!?! My poems are depressing, often nauseating, but it feels good to get that all out of me. I can't draw to save my life, nor sing, or even learn... this is what I can give. I hope no one gets hurts by my random and sadly extremely planned out thoughts, like: If someone masterbates while thinking about you, they just had you their way, and you loved it just as much as the wanted you to love it... who thinks of this #. I once dreamt of fame, now I wish I didn't know my own name. Might as well be cool with yourself, you'll never get away from you... not even for a much needed moment of peace. Where ever you go, there you are, but still you are the only you. We are always alone yet never alone. Know when to make time and when to take time. Be well, or at least be you.

[edit on 11/22/2005 by JeSuisAKittyCat]