Devastated and confused

Ok, obviously I hardly, if ever, post, but I just had to get this out. It's sort of a long break up story, but I'll still feel better getting this out. It's probably almost too crazy to follow...but I'd like to share and get some feed back and advice if possible...

Anyway, me and this girl met at work back in early August. (We both work at Walmart. I'm in electronics and she does the cell phone thing)We never really formally introduced ourselves, we clicked right away. It was like we had been friends forever.

She would always bump up against me and pretty much make me talk to her. After a few weeks of all this, we finally swapt phone numbers, and eventually started dating.

Now I'm not gonna go on about everything that happened so I'll skip forward a while.

Everything was great until we started having some miscommunication and misunderstandings. See, we only saw eachother really only at work, which was only like 3 days of the week. And it got to where we would only talk 30 minutes a day, a few days of the week. So we never really had good chances to talk. So all this started to cause some tension and we would argue some, but never really fight "fight".

An example was when she told me she was going to a Halloween party. A few days later she was inviting some guy at work to go to this party. This left an akward feeling in my gut. Then I made a huge mistake...

See, like I said earlier we never really got to talk a lot, so all kinds of emotions and thoughts were building up from past instances that hadn't been resolved. So when I finally got the chance to say something, I kinda blew up. I raised my voice and made a scene right there in Walmart.

Later she told me that she didn't ask me because she didn't want to get her friends in trouble if the cops came(see, I'm only 20 and she's 21)

Now this isn't even a part of all the other problems and misunderstandings that have happened. Also what led to her breaking up with me was some poor advice from fellow co-workers. Everything they told me to do went wrong, and I should have known better.

For the past weeks previous to the break up, I never really acted like myself, which probably didn't help matters either. But anyway, she broke up with me a week ago at work, and I was devastated. I didn't want to break up. I thought we should have just took some time away from each other. Here is were the second part of the story begins...(Oh God, right...)

I fell in love with this girl, right. I mean, she was so close to everything I wanted in a companion. When we broke up she said she needed space from me, and she wanted to be by herself and think about what she wants. I really loved her, and wanted so bad to try and get her back.

So the next day at work I just kinda talked to her normally and gave her a letter I wrote earlier as an apology. Saying I was not acting like myself, etc. That night when she got off of work I walked with her to her car (I was on break). When we got there, I stuck out my hand to shake goodbye (friendly gesture I thought). She grabbed my hand pulled me over and kissed me on the lips. Got in her car gave me a sad like look and drove away.

The next day at work, we were talking along with some other people, and she bumped into me on purpose like she used to a long time ago. I swear this meant, "hey, Im still interested in you". Later that night I was with her at her car again. She told me to give her a hug, so I did, and she hugged me back and kissed me on the cheek. She then told me to call her that night. So I called and we talked for about 15 minutes about general stuff and that was it.

We bumped into each other at work on Halloween. She again "bumped" into me, making me go insane with wonder about what she was trying to do. She told me she'd go out to eat with me on her lunch break. So I decided I would buy her some apologetic flowers to give to her when she got off work, while I wait to take her to lunch.

That night I gave her the flowers and a poem I wrote. She smiled at first then she got somewhat upset. She said people don't give stuff to each other who aren't going out. And that she wanted her space and this wasn't giving it to her. Also that I was keeping her here longer than she needed to stay (she had to leave quickly). I was confused because right after I gave her the flowers, she just sat there at her car acting like she wanted me to say something. So I did, then she, of course, got mad at me because I kept her.

So then I didn't make any contact with her for a few days. I went to Walmart Thursday to talk to some friends. She was there working, this of course I did not know, so there was an akward moment. I said nothing to her, and acted like she wasn't there. Then next day I had to work, and one of my friends told me a funny tidbit. Seems that my ex waited until one of her friends got off, so that she would walk her to her car, thinking I might be there waiting for her. YEAH RIGHT!

That same day, which would have been yesterday, I pretty much acted like she didn't exist. Hardly spoke to her and she seemed to pretty much act like I was nothing. Later that day, a friend of mine told me that I pretty much lost her and she said she was already dating again. I'm like, whatever happened to 'being by myself' yada yada yada

So here is my problem...I still really love this girl...she has so many wonderful qualities. We got along so well for a while and contrary to her belief, we have many things in common. I can see that we have some special. But see, she has been hurt so much in the past, that I fear she will never forgive me. All I want is a second chance and her forgiveness. I know we are right for each other, I just let too many people get in my head, and believed what they said.

I want her back so bad...I don't want all that we shared and talked about to be in vain...I love her so much...but how could she already be dating? Why will she not forgive me? Why won't she give me another chance? Why would she kiss me out in the parking lot and act like she was still interested, if she's not?

If you've read all this you are truly amazing, and God bless you...thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better. But do you think I have any chance of ever getting back with her?

IN posting this I am assuming you have a attention span longer than a electronic sound bite.

Give up on this woman..she obviously doesnt have a attentionspan. Also if you havent noticed..she is accustomed to maneuvering/bumping to get things arranged the way she likes it and you jumped into how she likes it. Problem is her attention span is not that long.
You are still young...lot of time to learn this...but most importantly learn how to take rejection...and go on. You are going to be rejected alot in this world and in different manners..not just in personal relationships..get used to it. Getting used to rejection means growing up.
One more thing ..people with short attention spans .tend twords being "high maintnance." Is this what you are after???...she may have done you a favor.
Trying to keep up with a person who is high speed/cell phone type people is like being on a racetrack. They dont leave you time to make a pit stop while they are leading you around. Wise up to this.
Dont let any woman get you conditioned by your ignornance to thinking she is sitting on the only one in town. That is a lesson taught to me by a olde woman....and she was right on this.

Thanks,
Orangetom

In my honest opinion you both have some issues, One.. she is like any other woman, She only likes to be chased. When she sees she has yah she does not want you; So for that, she should have seen the curb along time ago. You seem like a nice guy, with all the gifts and effort, but you need to know when to walk away. This is something you should have done awhile ago; So IMHO which is what you were asking for, Stay away from her. This is not the kind of person you should be with, find somebody who puts the same effort into the relationship as you do.

You need to stand up for yourself in a better way as well, getting all out of gear because she invited somebody else to a party and then making a scene in your work place... probably would be fourth or fifth on my list of what not to do ever. She tries to make you jealous, get a friend to visit you at work; share a hug or something in front of her. See if she gets jealous lol... this may not be the greatest strategy sometimes but hey.. I have my pride.

I do not know you or her, But what i do know is that a girl like that is not something I would want to associate with. She has vocally stated, We are not going out and I want space. I would say continue with the approach of she does not exist, Her and any other woman out their that just want to play head games and toy with guys to have them chase her is wrong.

All the best to yah... next time your talking to her at all... Call her by the wrong name and then apoligize and walk away. Surprisingly I do have a Girlfriend who is great, with my strategies I am just as surprised as you are.



[edit on 5-11-2005 by chissler]

orangetom and chissler, you guys are exactly right. The more I thought about this, the more I realize she just psycho lol! Yeah, she's already seeing some other guy, after she said she wanted to be alone for a while.

The funny thing is, a friend of my told me she said she wants to go out with me, but I need to give her space. Whatever, I'm totally ignoring this broad. She is nuts...

Thanks for the input...later

I have had to help people before in these situations so I guess I have some experience. The thing you need to realize is that your relationship wont ever be perfect like other people. It will keep going on the same pattern like how you posted it happened. So you need to give up on her, just think of different things and possibly switch jobs to another place. I'm sure that would help, go work at Best Buy, everyone is supposed to be nice there because they only hire good people who pass the personality test. You are in the electronics division and Best Buy is pratically all electronics except washingmachines. Now I'm not saying you have to work there but it can help. It will take your mind off of her, but that takes time but not forever. Once you never see her again you will find that its easy to give up if you dont let yourself sober over her. Best Buy has alot of young people who work there and you might find a young girl. Girls work at the checkout line all the time. As a matter of fact, 80% of the time I go to best buy I see a girl who works at the checkout line. You will be too ocuppied with the customers at best buy b/c I always see customers with the workers. But there could be some days where you dont see much customers at all but I doubt that could happen alot. I say quiting your job is the key to forgeting about her. Its going to hurt really bad if you let yourself be too sober over this girl. You must realize that if you do ever have a relation with this girl it would be a hard one, breaking up and dating again. Try to forget about her and that will help. B/c you have already waited to long to make it up to her again and a third relationship would be very hard to get. Remember Best Buy. Good luck with my advice.